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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Schools roles is it just me that feels

60 replies

BITCAT · 23/02/2010 19:03

That schools/some schools are taking away any rights of parents to parent there children. I was told i had to cancel and rearrange an appointment for my son for dentist work, (baring in mind he is in pain) because a school trip happens to fall on the same day..the appointment has been booked for several weeks and had the letter about trip afterwards. So its not as if i booked the appointment knowing there was a trip on that day. He has also been to the same trip with previous school so he isnt missing out that much and has told me he wants his tooth sorted out.

OP posts:

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atworknotworking · 23/02/2010 19:05

Thats daft your sons health surely comes first. Sod the trip.

juuule · 23/02/2010 19:06

Definitely health comes first.

PixieOnaLeaf · 23/02/2010 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BariatricObama · 23/02/2010 19:09

if the appointment has been made several weeks ago he can't be in that much pain.

SpicedGerkin · 23/02/2010 19:14

What exactly are they going to do if you don't cancel?

compo · 23/02/2010 19:17

he would rather go to the dentist than a school trip with all his mates?
and what will he do the rest of the day? have a whole day off for the dentist?
are you sure he isn't just doing what you want him to do?

seeker · 23/02/2010 19:19

He's in pain but the appointment is for several weeks away?

What exactly did the school say?

overmydeadbody · 23/02/2010 19:21

So the school told you to cancel? Who in the school told you this? Are you sur it wasn't just a suggestion? A passong remark perhaps?

Why don't you suggest to the school that you drop him off at the school trip destination once he is done at the dentist?

BITCAT · 23/02/2010 19:22

He had an appointment and was scared and didnt have it done..so he was booked in again..this time im taking his dad along too. The pain has started in the last week and we have been managing with paracetomol for now the appointment is thursday..i dont want to keep the paracetomol up much longer..he isnt rolling around the floor in pain or i would have taken him before now but he is holding face and complaining that it hurts. So i thought it was more important that he got that sorted or how is he going to enjoy a trip if he in pain.

OP posts:

rainbowinthesky · 23/02/2010 19:24

If you tell the dentist he is in pain they shoudl be able to see him the same day. I woudlnt miss a school trip because of the dentist.

GrimmaTheNome · 23/02/2010 19:26

Take him to the dentist.

You may have been asked to rearrange because there will be subsequent classwork based on the trip, but if your DS has already been there he'll still be able to participate.

seeker · 23/02/2010 19:29

Who at the school told you to cancel?

BITCAT · 23/02/2010 19:30

the trip is in chester and i dont drive..its takes us an hour to get to dentist and an hour to get back .So by the time we got there and back and ive fed him because he will miss lunch and cant eat for couple of hours..it will be 1/130 schooland they finish at 245 not much point him going back cause it takes 30mins to get home. He is also being bullied and has expressed that he doesnt want to go on the trip anyway..the school have refused to except that the bullying is happening, i know the signs ive been there. Name calling and threats, which i have heard with my own ears.

OP posts:

stitch · 23/02/2010 19:31

dental trips should always come first imo , unless there is an actual exam on the day, such as a gcse.

seeker · 23/02/2010 19:40

But if you want this discussion to be about the usurping of parent's rights by schools, which you seemed to at the beginning, you do need to say a bit more about who told you to cancel the appointment and what exactly whoever it was said.

BITCAT · 23/02/2010 19:47

It was the deputy head who said it and was saying what he would miss out on and as i explained that he had already been and had suffered pain that week and needed to get the job done. Unfortunate that it had landed on that day but thats life..whatever i said they seemed ademant that i was wrong and they were right i felt bullied myself

OP posts:

seeker · 23/02/2010 19:54

So they didn't actually tell you you had to cancel - they just told you what your ds would miss out on?

We always get the dates for school trips at the beginning of the term - maybe you could suggest that they send out the school calendar a bit earlier?

BITCAT · 23/02/2010 19:59

No they just bullied me till i gave in..i shouldnt have to justify why im taking my son to the dentist or what day etc i take him they have never missed an exam and rarely have days off..have never been taken out of school for any other reason than illness/medical appointments.

OP posts:

OttersOnIce · 23/02/2010 20:15

"No they just bullied me till i gave in.."

Here's a thought -
Don't let people bully you until you give in, and then whinge about it on the internet.

Set your ds an example of how to deal with being bullied, by calmly but assertively explaining why you have made the decision you have.

It's not that hard, really.

coldtits · 23/02/2010 20:21

School secretaries can be a NIGHTMARE though.

I got a snotty text at 9.40 this morning "Please tell us why your child isn't at school"

So I rang back and explained he had a hospital appointment.

"Oh. Well. Nobody here knew!"

Well, do excuse me. Nobody there needed to know. Nobody there was responsible for taking him, or indeed, responsible for ANYTHING concerning his health unless it's a child protection matter. That would be his resident parent, and last time I checked that still meant me.

I know you are bigger and cleverer than everyone around you, but you are, in fact, not God. Sorry for any misunderstanding.

islandofsodor · 23/02/2010 20:22

They were totally wrong in telling you that you shoudl alter the appointment.

It is all very well saying don;t be bulled etc etc but in real life it isn't that easy. You end up forgetting what you were going to say or thinking of an answer afterwards.

I think people are being a harsh on you OP.

seeker · 23/02/2010 21:14

How did they bully you? In your OP you said that you were told to cancel the appointment and rearrange.

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releasethehounds · 23/02/2010 21:25

coldtits - DD1 recently broke her arm in a PE lesson and subsequently had to have several hospital visits over the following weeks. I informed the school in writing whenever an appointment was approaching - no problem. It wouldn't occur to me to not tell the school beforehand.

Actually I'm quite impressed by the secretary checking up on your DS's absence. What if you had believed your child to be in school and he had gone elsewhere, or worse? How were the school to know he was ok?

clam · 23/02/2010 21:31

What otters said.

"They bullied me until I gave in" is victim-speak. You mean they tried to persuade you of the benfits of the trip. However, your child, your call. Over-rule them. What can they do about it?

coldtits · 23/02/2010 21:31

he's six years old and is escorted to his teacher every morning, as are all the other six year olds. He's not going anywhere unless I am with him.

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