just seen dd's teacher again, dd still a fair way behind and struggling a bit

[paddingtonbear1]

.. which I guess I knew really. She's in yr 2 but working at yr 1 level. She has made progress but still struggles esp. with maths. She struggles a bit socially too, doesn't interact much with classmates especially when she has to work with a partner. When I ask dd why, she says she can't think of anything to say! We don't really do playdates, dd never asks for anyone and I can't do much as I work and don't know any of the other mums. dd's teacher also says she doesn't listen, eg when she tells the class to stop doing something in PE everyone else stops, dd just keeps going. We don't know if she doesn't hear (have doc's appt next week in case), but sometimes it's as if she 'zones out' - I have to repeat myself at home all the time! This did improve a while ago but has suddenly got worse again. dd's school have been very good at trying to help her, dd has an IEP and extra help from the TA. Does this strike a chord with anyone? Was anyone else's dc similar and did they improve later? dd's teacher thinks some of it could be down to immaturity as she's one of the youngest.

[paddingtonbear1]

hopeful bump?

[kissingfrogs]

I thought i'd reply as my dd1 (yr 1) also "zones out". This has been happening for a while. When she does, she does not respond to calling her etc. Now, this could be down to a few things. My dd1 calls it daydreaming. It may be more than simply daydreaming, it may be what is called absence seizures (children can grow out of this). Don't mean to scare you, I'm just talking about my dd1. This can really effect a child's work in school. Dd1 also gets glue ear sometimes. This too can have a bad effect on their work in school - it's really common but if it's long term it has a huge impact on ability in school. Glue ear fluctuates - hence worsening/improvement cycle. Before my dd2 (hearing impaired) was diagnosed, she had problems socialising and often went into her own little world.
At least you're seeing your GP. GP will be able to tell straight away if there's an ear infection. Glue ear can be easily checked by audiology at your local hospital.
My dd1 has been refered to paediatrics to see if the daydreaming/zoning out is possibly absence seizures.
Hope you find some answers xxxxxxxxxxx

[fatzak]

Hi Paddington. My DS sounds just like your DD! He does have underlying probs (on meds for neurological problem)but he is especially behind in his maths and sounds like he has the same social issues as your DD. I was going to start a similar thread myself as I am just wondering just how many children out there don't seem to find making friends easily. I saw DS in action on Thursday at the school disco, and he just isn't interested in trying to play or chat with anyone else. He'll try and join in football, but just doesn't "get" it then ends up in tears because he doesn't understand what he should be doing I'm sure that the others wind him up and get him to chase them because they know he can't run as fast as them I just keep hoping that something will click soon

[paddingtonbear1]

thanks so much for your replies kissingfrogs and fatzak. Your comment about the school disco fatzak struck a chord with me - at the last one I took dd to, she was exactly the same. Also I've noticed that when she does try and join in, she's often ignored unless an adult intervenes. She's very young for her age and maybe isn't always on the same wavelength as other kids her age? She plays very well with my friend's youngest boy (he is 7 months younger), they seem to like each others company, but they don't go to the same school. She doesn't do well in larger groups, just seems lost.
I'm not shy myself although I've never been very confident, I guess I was hoping dd wouldn't be like me. It's interesting about the glue ear though, dd did have this in reception but according to the doc it cleared up and didn't need treatment. I'll see what the doc says next week.

[BoysAreLikeDogs]

You can't do playdates in the week, have you thought about having a child over on a Sat or Sunday for cinema/pizza, or lunch ? Doesn't have to be for hours and hours, just 2 hours tops.

your dd might not ask because she doesn't know that this might be an option?

I know we all like to keep weekends for faaaaaaamily stuff but worth a shot?? To help her to practice being friends

[paddingtonbear1]

we have tried for weekend/holiday playdates, but they've never come off so far and I don't like to push it. I'm sure I am part of the problem - I'm not confident with approaching people, and I don't know any of the mums at the school gate. I have emailed for details of a dance school near us though which has classes on a Saturday, as dd likes music and dance. I thought maybe if she could try that, she might get a few friends outside school too, and it might help her concentration.

[oddgirl]

Sounds like my DS who does have some issues (dyspraxia) but is also socially and emotionally very immature. I think its important to recognise that some DC just need a bit of a hand to develop social skiils-it just comes more naturally to some than others-after all maths comes more naturally to some people so why shd social skills be any different. IMHO its actually very difficult for a child to be shy and unsure of themeselves socially these days-there is huge emphasis (rightly or wrongly) on social skills and some children simply develop in this area later than others.
I would certainly get her checked out for things others have suggested just to put yr mind at rest but it may be nothing more than her emotional make up particularly if you are a bit shy too!
I sometimes think we need to stop seeing shyness as a weakness but as part of who someone is-after all if we were all very extrovert and confident in everything the world wd be a very boring place.
Of course if these issues are making her unhappy then they need to be tackled but within the context of recognising some of this may be what makes your DD a unique and lovely individual.

[SleepingLion]

I don't know if this is an option with your work but the mum of one of DS's friends has taken a day's leave split over several Mondays - she leaves work early enough to collect her DD at the end of school (rather than from after-school care) and the DD gets to bring a friend home for tea each Monday.