Oh my God... I just argued with DS's teacher!

[Lycraphobe]

I only tried to have a chat with her about how difficult Ds finds the homework and how this has turned to impossible in the last week. I tried to teach it to him but it was too sophisticated a notion for him and he just couldn't get his head around it. (it was a couple of words in his spelling homework for which he had to write sentences showing that he understood the word).
Anyway the teacher kept saying "well, that's the programme I am following" and "he must do it", even when I explained that it isn't won't but can't, even with my help. The only option is for me to do it for him because she punishes him if it doesn't get done.

It all got a bit heated. She told me to go away and think about what she had said. I suggested that she thought about what I had said and that she spent time considering whether the work she is setting is achievable. At that point she took the huff and basically tried to close the door in my face!

Oh God! I wish I hadn't bothered even trying now! I hope she doesn't take it out on DS (as one of the teaching assistants confided in me: DS's teacher is inexperienced and she lacks empathy). Where do I go from here? He is in Yr3.

[Comewhinewithme]

.

[ChickensLoveMarmite]

Go and speak to the Head. You've done the right thing in approaching the teacher, but if she's not willing to work with you, you have no choice but to go over her head. At the very least, she needs to be pulled about trying to close the door in your face!

[Lizzylou]

Go to the Head, she was very rude.
That is no way to treat a concerned parent.

[Lycraphobe]

Do teachers pick on kids these days? When i was at school, the classroom was the teachers little kingdom and they basically could do whatever they like (including belting or hitting with a ruler) but it is all different now isn't it? please let it be different now!!!

[wigglybeezer]

Just do it for him, explaining what you are doing and get him to write it out. He is still learning something and you are taking the pressure off him, unfortunately some teachers can be very inflexible, you just have to work round them (Two of my boys struggle with written work, I have to give them a lot of help with projects, although we don't pretend the boys do it all by themselves).

[iheartdusty]

I think I would go to the Head and ask for help with two things :

• restoring your relationship with this teacher,

and

• sorting out the homework issue.

[MarineIguana]

As a teacher the concept of some children not being able to do certain tasks at certain stages should be second nature to her and it's her job to work with you to find a solution. What an idiot. Yes go to the head.

[satc2bringiton]

Oh yes go to the head. How dare she treat you like that!

[Ingles2]

god yes...go to the head...
That's disgraceful...

[Lycraphobe]

the words in question were: impressionable, accountable and excitable. He just couldn't understand what it is when someone is impressionable and he didn't really get all the connotations of accountable and excitable. I think he is just too young, i.e. not experienced enough of life, to be able to take on these concepts properly. Or it is my teaching but either way he couldn't do it.

[FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010]

But don't you know the teacher knows your child better?

I really feel for you. My dd's last teacher knew everything, knew my child better than I did, and was right about everything. SO glad she was "head-hunted" by another school. PMSL, I think she went before she was pushed the bossy cow.

You definitely need to speak to someone about this.

Good luck.

[Ingles2]

What!! Those are the words he has to put into sentences!!!!
In year 3!!!!!
Bloody ridiculous...
my yr 4 might get those,....my yr 5 will definitely get those
too hard imo

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

They are pretty heavy duty words for that age group. My dd would struggle I think and she's got an incredible vocabulary [proud]. I'd go to see the head too.

[BendyBob]

She sound awful. Yes speak to the head.

Tbh though - and I will get shot at for this - but homework in yr3 is hit and miss imho.

I would have no qualms about helping my dc with it a lot (ie do it for him if the words are ridiculously hard). If they're going to be that unhelpful when you point out he can't manage it..

[Heated]

Agree with iheartdusty's suggestion.

Unless you regularly make excuses for ds not completing work - and I'm guessing not - then that is a poor response from a teacher.

Make sure one of ds' sentences is:

Teachers are accountable to parents, headteachers and governors.

[frumpygrumpy]

He must be supported to learn, simple. For me, this is the essence of teaching, working out what each child needs in order to understand and learn. She needs to work out what he needs to grasp this. And she should have been suggesting that you sit and meet at a good time to thoroughly explore the options. Try to stay calm and instead of complaining about her, be friendly and request a meeting at a time that is good for all and tell her what you need and what you believe your DS will find helpful.

Be a broken record. Try not to lose patience with her but do be a broken record and keep repeating your concerns. I have much empathy for you re: teachers with a lack of empathy!

[salvolatile]

Lycraphobe - dc4 is in year 3, and has a VERY advanced reading/vocabulary level for her age. The only one of those words she could put into a sentence would be excitable! I would definitely challenge the level of programme that the teacher is setting her class . DD does write sentences as part of her spellings homework, but none of the words are anything like those and she is in the harder spellings group in a very academic school! Not being a proud mummy BTW, just trying to put those words in perspective..

[Heated]

Would be interested to learn how many other pupils managed that h/w.

[MadameDefarge]

The teacher should be setting homework appropriate to his abilities. Homework is not about learning new things at home, it is about reinforcing lessons learnt in class.

[Ingles2]

I wouldn't bother to talk to the teacher atm.... she's missing the basics of teaching if she has no understanding that work needs to differentiated. You can't teach a formula at that age FFS

[Lycraphobe]

Bendybob... i was tempted to take that path and I suppose i have been "helping" increasingly over the last few weeks but then I thought that if he just does everything, she'll never know about his tears or how really its the work of an adult and so she'll keep "stretching" him further.

So i thought I would speak to her, but now i really wish i hadn't. If only I could turn back the clock!

[Lycraphobe]

Heated ... I suspect that she has had other complaints because she was on the defensive from the first second.

[Tortington]

as nearly everyones else has said - put in a complaint
first see the head and ask for their complaints proceedure, also ask your LEA what their complaints proceedure is. being a teacher does not mean that you can be mean and bully.

perhaps i she recognised that justlike everyone else in the mortal world - her actions have consequences - she will perhaps be more professional or get some further training for her obvious lack of sskills

[Iklboo]

My teacher is not impressionable as she will not consider other people's viewpoints

My mum will not be accountable for her actions if my teacher doesn't start listening to her

I am not very excitable about homework set by my teacher

[Ingles2]

Lycra.. I've just looked at ds2's spelling homework for comparison.
We're slightly different in that we have spelling rules and the words fit that, so we have
dropping y adding ies/ied
try
trying
tried
tries .... etc
he's yr 4, 8 and average.