What is your experience of single sex schools

[Clare123]

I have seen a lovely little school for my daughter, but it is single sex prep. What has your experience been of all girls or all boys schools?
Thank you so much

[Barbeasty]

It was a while ago now, but I went to an all-girls secondary school and (I'm told) I am normal.

There are all sorts of advantages, especially if your daughter turns out to be good at maths/ science- there was no prejudice or temptation to let boys steal the show and I've ended up as an engineer.

It does depend on the child though, and girls can get very bitchy.

There is no reason that you would have to keep your daughter at a single sex school until she's 18- you could change for secondary or sixth form if you wanted. Lots of schools will also join with a local boys school for social or other activities/ lessons.

One good thing my parents did was ensure I did things outside school where I had to interact with boys- and orchestra, venture scouts etc. There were a few boys at university who had been at boys schools until they were 18 and they really did struggle to cope with talking to women...

If it seems a good school where you think your daughter would be happy and would flourish, I would say that whether or not it is single sex shouldn't matter.

[maggotts]

I went to mixed schools until halfway through Year 8 and then to all girls. It was great and very liberating as there was no pressure to be stereotypically "girly". We had 60 out of 120 girls doing Physics 'O' level back in the early 80s when my sister in law was one of just 2 out of 100 girls doing the same at her mixed comp.

DH teaches in a mixed secondary and so we have sent DD1 to a girls school since Year 7 and, again, really happy. DD2 about to go from Year 5 as we like it so much.

Make sure they know how to get along with boys outside of school (cousins, clubs, whatever) and then enjoy the fact that in school there are no "boys" or "girls" subjects as all subjects are equal.

The whole bitchiness thing is also a bit of a red herring. Girls can be VERY bitchy, agreed, but the presence of boys does nothing to dimish this whatsoever!

[Clary]

maggots that's interesting.

At my all-girl grammar school there were 80 in the 6th form in my year and 60 of them did English literature A-level.

A mighty five did physics.

Not sure what that proves...probably not a lot

[hbfac]

I attended a girls' secondary school. It was a liberation after my mixed primary.

In a single-sex school there is less pressure to conform to a narrow definition of what it is to be female.

There was less "teasing" (ie bullying) and less (a lot less) physical violence than at the primary.

Of course, that could have been just down to the different school.

The girls didn't spend their time in class mooning at the boys.

And it was OK (-ish) to be brainy and good at science. And it was OK to be funny. (I suspect that last is hogged by boys at a mixed school.)

(My primary really, really sucked.)

[hbfac]

And i agree about the "bitchiness" stuff being a red herring.

My primary had bitchiness a-plenty. Always about boys. The girls would fight each other over boys by my last year in primary. Utterly depressing.

My friend attended a mixed school and she said that the girls were forever patrolling each others' sexuality -"lesbian", "slag", "he's mine", - and either falling out or physically fighting - yuk.

There was, indeed, an undercurrent of that at the g. s. but nowhere near as extreme.

For all the talk of how civilising mixed schools are, I sometimes think they are not that great for girls. Unless you have a very strong-willed girl, they really can become a machine for inculcating a fembot view of womanhood, as well as enforcing a very narrow, very conservative identity and sexuality.

But you know, that was then ... . And surely it depends on the ethos of the school and the children it attracts?

[SofaQueen]

I attended an all girls school from age 9, and even went to a single sex university. In terms of self confidence (I was a very shy young girl) and academics, attending a single sex school was fantastic. I was a math and science oriented student, and it was a shock to me to find out in university that girls were not supposed to be good at maths and this was certainly not impressed upon me during my school years - it was simply expected that I would do my best in all subjects.

An interesting thing I noticed in high school was that girls from all girls schools tended to be more academically ambitious. I was accepted to do a state-wide selective science program when I was 16, a summer program at an Ivy League school when I was 17, and did a Congressional internship program when 16 - a striking majority of the other girls on all these programs also went to all-girls schools. Doesn't really say anything scientifically, but it really struck me.

There was a "bitchy" aspect, but only because I went to very academic schools, and so they were full of very competitive people (and I doubt that this would not exist in co-ed schools also!). However, I also made fabulous friends who I still keep in touch with.

Socially, I didn't know many boys, but that was more the overprotective nature of my parents. The other girls in my schools all had circles of social friends which included boys (and we had social activities with local all-boys schools).

[nooka]

I went to a mixed primary, where some of my best friends were boys to a single sex secondary, and then on to a boys boarding school with girls in the sixth form. I wouldn't wish to consider single sex education for my children, especially at primary age (but then I don't really like the idea of lovely little schools, as to me that makes me think of the prep attached to my old school, where the girls had to wear boaters). I think it is much more healthy to grow up alongside both boys and girls, and I would like my children to go to the same school in any case.

However most of us only experience the schools we actually went to, so difficult to get a comparison - if I'd been to a mixed school throughout I might want my children to go single sex perhaps.

[seeker]

In your OP I would be more concerned about "lovely little" than "girls" in the description. I've heard of more children having an unhappy time in very small schools than in any other type of school. And that is in both sectors.

I am talking very small though - I reckon much less than about 100 is potentially a problem.

[CarmenSanDiego]

Sorry. I went to a 'good' single sex school and left to go to a mixed sixth form. In my opinion, the single sex school wasn't a healthy environment and the girls struggled to interact with boys in a sensible way outside school. Either a complete fear of them or a dangerous obsessive relationship. Social skills were underdeveloped.

I also thought it was overly protective and very strict - I was so worried about getting into trouble for something tiny like forgetting a book that I never really got into a learning frame of mind.

They work for some girls (especially those who are on the university-medicine/law conveyor belt, but several of my friends struggled hard once out of that school.

I would absolutely not send my children to a single sex school unless I absolutely had to. Even if there are academic benefits, I'd value a well-rounded individual over them.