DD (reception) wetting herself at school

[LynetteScavo]

DD has been weeting herself at school, just because she has been too buisy playing to go to the loo. (I think!)

Children seem to have free access to the loo all teh time, rather than being sent at certain times, like they did in 1926, when I was in reception.

The staff seem to be perfectly happy to clean up the mess, but I woudld rather they reminded her and sent her to the loo.(Not something I've ever done at home, TBH)

Is it OK to insist they do this?

She really does have a bladder of steel, and has never wet herself since taking herself out of nappies just after her 2nd birthday.

[ChunkyMonkeysMum]

Is there something more going on ?

My DS1 was exactly the same as your DD, never wet himself at home, yet started wetting himself when he went to school. He has ASD & we feel that this was caused by a disruption to his routine etc, but sadly he is not able to tell us what's causing it.

Maybe there is something she's not happy about at school ?

Have you asked her why she's wetting herself ? What has she said ?

[LynetteScavo]

I've asked her why she wet herself and she says "I don't want to talk about it" Which is what she said when she was very told off once at nursery.

I asked her how she felf when she wet herself today, and she said "Happy, I was just doing PE"

She was doing PE at the time.

She has said a few time the toilets are stinky, but they really arent', I have checked them out several times at the end of the day, and they are fine. (I think she is getting this off DS1, and DS2)

She's a really well adjusted, level headed kid (touch wood,.... after the dramas we've has with DS1...).

The school day is long for her, as she's was only 4 in July, but she did 2 days at nursery each week , 9am-3pm, with no accidents.

[ChunkyMonkeysMum]

Ah, bless her !! Maybe she just genuinely does get carried away & forgets, but seems odd that when you asked her she said she didn't want to talk about it. Unless she's just embarrassed.

[laweaselmys]

I have (in the past) looked after reception age kids and at this sort of time in the year when they are just getting used to full days and the excitement of it all it is really much more common than you would think!

If it becomes a regular thing, or the teachers are concerned then obviously it would be a different thing. But if it's just been a couple of times - she's probably totally fine.

[Bigboots]

I have DS same age. In the last week he has wet himself once and pooed in his pants . He wet because his table had been asked to wait before going to lunch - he was bursting but waited because he had been told to (he had not told teacher he needed the loo). He pooed because he doesn't like doing it at school, as he struggles to get himself properly clean "I don't like skiddy pants Mummy". So he hung on, trying to wait until home time - he made it to 2.30! I really feel for him, he is a late June baby so also v. young for his year, but think it is fairly common at this stage.

[LynetteScavo]

We've had one poo as well.

[Bigboots]

I had to go in for the poo as the staff can't clean them up. He had to wait for 20 mins standing in the cloakroom with the TA, until I got there. They sorted out the wee today though and he came home in spares. DS doesn't seem that bothered by it, not upset and quite open about it all - I think I'm more concerned that the other children will tease him about it.

[roundabout1]

I could have written this post.My dd has wet herself most days these last two weeks. Her reason is she's too shy to ask which I feel really sorry for her as I can imagine that is the real reason. She seems to find it preferable to be wet than put her hand up. I'm worried what other kids will think. Felt a bit better when I took her in this morning, reception have decided to keep a big basket of spare clothes outside the toilets as they were having so many accidents, not all by my daughter! My dd was 4 end Aug so is the youngest & is very shy in new situations, am hoping it will improve.

[deepdarkwood]

Blimey - am obviously very lackidaisical, as ds (year one) came home in spare clothes today following a wee accident, & I was not really bothered about it. His teacher didn't seem concerned either.

He, & a good few of his peers, started having accidents at school in reception, having never had any problems at home - all of them improved over the year.
A couple of us talked to the teachers about it then, & they said it was totally normal, and that they really ARE busy & concentrating - so much so that by the time they realise, it's too late. Ds's school accidents are always (apparently) in the toilets - he just leaves it a bit too late.

I've not heard about any teasing - & there were some quite persistent offenders!

Teachers in reception did do a bit of asking, but tbh, some of it is just going to be letting the children get used to that extra independence, i think.

[laweaselmys]

Honestly look how many of you are there are posting - it's really very normal. Even poo. It's just a well, not phase exactly, just a reaction to the change of environment and all the excitement.

[redskyatnight]

DS went 4 weeks without using the toilets at school when he started Reception (so we had accidents and mad dashes when we got home - also bladder of steel).

I took him into the toilets one morning and we talked over which one was the nicest and which one he thought he would go in. (They were fine - it was just fear of the unknown I think). One afternoon when I picked him up, I took him back to the toilets so he went with me there.

I also found it helped to encourage him to go when he was in the toilets for other reasons (e.g. washing hands before lunch).

[Madsometimes]

dd2 had a few accidents when she was in reception, and she was a January starter. If she had started in September, then I am sure she would have been wet most days. She still wore a nappy to bed until after Easter of reception.

It is totally normal for a 4 year old to not be totally reliable. I could rant on now about how 4 year olds and schools are not a sensible combination!

[Slubberdegullion]

Lynette, we were in exactly the same boat with dd1 and her bladder of steel last year, and we are back on board with dd2 now who has just started reception.

I have had at least 5 red letters sent home already (kindly alerting me to wet pants in plastic bags secreted away in their book bags). They sound both the same as your dd, just FAR to busy to go and do anything as dull as going to the loo, so usually there are accidents during the mad scramble to get there on time.

In the end I asked the teacher would she mind giving dd1 a little and head tilt whenever she spotted the groin grabbing dance of holding it in. She didn't mind and we had no accidents after that. I guess I'm going to have to ask again for dd2.

i am breezy. If they are still doing it in Y6 then I'll start to get worried.

[dilemma456]

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[dilemma456]

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[primarymum]

I did have one girl in my reception class who managed to wet herself 8 times in one day! She simply didn't like interupting whatever activity she was engaged in and drank a lot too! I think that was the only time I completely ran out of spare clothes!

[forehead]

Don't worry OP my ds aged 4 came home today in spares. Tbh,i expected this to happen and i am not unduly worried. I just think he is a bit shy and didn't want to put his hand up

[LynetteScavo]

Thanks everyone....I was just so confident she wouldn't need to take a spare pair of clothes with her. I've just ordered an extra school skirt and some more tights so we can leave them in school.

Will teach me to be confident about my children's abilities.

[roundabout1]

We don't have to supply spares as school as a huge cupboard full of them. Think this is a disadvantage for us though as dd seems to be excited by wearing different pants, the school spares are quite old & threadbare, don't look that exciting to me but dd sees it differently! Good to know it's such a common thing.