Hi all
I'm having a really tough time with my daughter, who's just started Year 1.
Every morning she has to be pulled off me, screaming "Mummy, mummy" and I leave the class holding back the tears.
Over the weekend she cried a few times, saying that she didn't want to go to school and missed me, and some days she's been upset when she's woken up. Mostly though, it's the moment of parting when she really gets distraught. She says she just misses me and really wants to be with me.
The teacher says that she's always fine just after I leave, but my daughter tells me that she was "Upset until lunchtime" or that she sat in the book corner on her own while everyone else did handwriting because she felt too sad to join in.
She also told me that one day the TA was comforting her and the teacher needed the TA to go elsewhere and said "Just leave her", (which the TA did) which I don't like the sound of.
She's also been upset a couple of times when I've picked her up at the end of the day, which also makes me doubt their assurances that she's fine.
My husband and I went in to speak to her teacher on Monday morning and we asked if the TA could take her off us in the morning, and check in with her a couple of times during the morning, something our daughter said would make her feel better about going in. The teacher said that would be fine.
However, on Tuesday and Weds morning, the teacher herself marched over before the assistant had a chance to get to us and whisked my very upset daughter away. This morning, my daughter grabbed my hand in an attempt to stop me from leaving, and the teacher sternly told me to "Let go of her hand". The teacher is in her 50's and has been teaching for years, and I get the feeling that she has "seen it all before" and thinks that we're mollycoddling her.
I feel that a more gentle approach would work better for our daughter and have never been precious about her - she's had clingy phases but has mostly been a happy conident little thing, so it's very upsetting to see her like this.
I have a 9 month old daughter as well, who I am at home with, so there may be some jealousy there, but that doesn't seem to come up when she's talking about why's she upset.
I think a big part of the problem may be that she doesn't have any one in her class that she particularly "clicks" with yet, as her school has a system of rearranging the classes from Reception into Year 1 (there are 4 classes of 30 in each year, so it's a big school) which has meant that she is in a class with only 4/5 people from her reception class last year, none of which are her close friends. Does anyone else have this type of system in place in their children's school? It seems uneccesarily unsettling to me.
I also feel letdown by the teacher, as she seems to have totally disregarded our requests.
I'm going to go and see her teacher tomorrow afternoon and would really, really appreciate any comments / advice on how best to broach this with her. Sorry it's so long!!
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PLEASE HELP!! 5 yr old daughter distraught when left at school
34 replies
rosiegee · 24/09/2009 00:53
OP posts:
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