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Deferring until January - will he be OK?

7 replies

Rebecca41 · 03/07/2009 17:45

My DS1 is 4 at the end of August, and when I put his name down for the local school I was told he'd start in January 2010. However, since then they've changed the policy throughout the county, so they now only have one school intake. Technically he should start school in Sept, when he'll be 4 years and 1 week old.

For various reasons I've 99.9% decided to defer his school entry till January. I don't think he's emotionally ready for the long school days, despite the relative freedom of the reception year.

However, the teachers keep going on about the "curriculum", and how he'll miss essential bits. Then in the next breath they say it's all play anyway. I'm confused. Will anything be done in that first term that will be hard for him to catch up with?

It's a tiny school - only 12 in reception altogether, and he knows most of them already, so I'm hoping that making friends won't be too hard. Am I right in thinking that kids of that age don't form solid "exclusive" friendships that a new-boy couldn't join?

I'm so worried about it all. I just wish he hadn't been born a month premature, then none of this would be an issue!

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Rebecca41 · 03/07/2009 17:46

PS I asked for half days, but the school refused.

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oliverboliverbutt · 03/07/2009 17:55

Personally. I think he'll be better off.

My dd was home educated for two years, we thought it was far too early to put her into school.
She went into year two well ahead of what they were doing in the curriculum and has just come out with top marks on her sats (although I could give a monkeys about this).

If you do some fun things at home with him with letters numbers and some writing, then he won't be behind at all. It's reception - they play (or at least they should) and you can do that for him at home even better because he'll be comfortable, loved and be with his mummy!

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FiveGoMadInDorset · 03/07/2009 17:59

I think you have done exactly the right thing.

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jaded · 03/07/2009 19:41

I think you've done the right thing, you know your child better than anyone else and four is extremely young to start full days at school. The policies of the schools are very different - some don't allow half days longer than a couple of weeks and other schools let your child go half days until Jan.
My DD will be 4years and 4 months when she starts reception in September and I've been told she'll do full days after only one week! And she's new to the school too. I am very unhappy about this and also want to defer but was told by LEA that I couldn't do this as the school place would be offered to someone else if they wanted it in this time! How did you go about deferring?

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Highlander · 03/07/2009 20:27

start school, do the half days and if you're not convinced your LO is ready for a full day - tell the school and pick up at lunch. Once you're already in school, what are they going to do? Expel your child?

This is my plan for DS1. I think DS1 will be OK, but I know him best. Also, if DS1 starts coming home and and has behavioural issues related to tiredness, who's having to put up with it? The school? No, it's me, so I'll be doing what I think is best for us as a family.

School is great, but it is a cheap, one-size-fits-all model of education. And the random rules that schools/LEAs invent certainly don't suit everyone.

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jaded · 03/07/2009 21:17

Thanks, Highlander - I think you've got the right idea. I guess I am very sad that her reception teacher will be seeing her more than her own family! And why should she get to see my daughter at her best while I deal with tantrums? My daughter finds nursery tiring enough so I think she'll be exhausted by whole school days.

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Rebecca41 · 03/07/2009 21:42

Thanks everyone, it's good to hear people agreeing with my decision, I'm not getting much support from other friends to be honest.

Jaded - I guess different LEAs have different policies. I was told I could defer for one term without losing the place. I could also defer for a whole year, but then he'd go straight into year 1, and also his place wouldn't be kept open for him.

It all annoys me a bit, because it's assumed that random people in offices making decisions know our kids better than we do. Ridiculous.