Apparently DD would simply rather be at home than at schooll

[KatyMac]

According to her teacher at parents evening

So how do I deal with this?

We have a bit of school refusing - but it has been firmly established that nothing 'bad or sad' is happening at school

Simply that home is more fun

Oh and she also puts in a little effort as she can without falling behind or getting in to trouble for not concentrating

And after telling me she wasn't doing homework very well last parents evening, this parents evening I need to lay off & not make such a fuss about it {hmm]

[myfunnynametaken]

How old is she. What's school refusing?

[KatyMac]

11

I'm too ill/tired/unhappy to go to school today

[iwontbite]

is she very bright? I just wonder if she isn't being pushed enough and is finding it boring?

[myfunnynametaken]

Hmm difficult one. You're obviously off the hook about homework though, so If the teacher said lay off, then lay off.

How is home more fun fgs? I thought I saw on your profile she's an only?

[KatyMac]

Teacher can't decide& this is a topic of discussion either she is very bright & maybe bored or quite bright & playing the system...maybe

But on the whole which ever teacher talks to her, she'd rather be at home

[KatyMac]

An 'only' with a chidminder mum & dad so lots of littles

[myfunnynametaken]

I'd rather be at home than at work.

Bottom line is, 90% of the time we do what we have to do, the other 10% of the time we can do what we want to do. Otherwise, what's she gonna do when she leaves school? Stay home, coz she'd rather?

[compo]

tbh I don't think you can deal with it
all you can tell her is that she has to go to school and that's it
you can't make her look like she's enjoying it or lie and say she'd rather be at home, although you could tell her to be a bit more tactful/pragmatic about it

[poopscoop]

myfunny - how is home more fun? I would be rather upset if my dc said that school was more fun that home

What with that, and the comment that she is an only for that too. Does that mean and 'only' cannot have a fun time at home?

[myfunnynametaken]

I mean if your off school "ill" you shouldn't be having fun - you should be too ill to have fun. Not that school's better than home.

[KatyMac]

Not going to school is not an option - I tend to send if there is even a possibility she will learn stuff - rarely is she too ill to go - 'tho saying that she has been quite poorly since Christmas

Oh I don't know the teacher said it as if I was supposed to do something about it - what I don't know

Apparently according to DH I neglect her - hard to argue when I work til 6m every night & start at 7:30 - but surely that isn't that different to going out to work (DH is medically retired so I have always been the go out to work parent)

Life is so confusing

[myfunnynametaken]

Neglect her? I don't think so. - I don't see your dh on here worrying about his dd's education.

What does he do about it?

[myfunnynametaken]

Well it's difficult for us to suggest things you could try until you tell us what you've already tried.

Have you:

Insisted it's non-negotiable.
Insisted she stay in her bed if she's too ill for school.
Given sanctions for poor attendance
Given rewards for good attendance.

[KatyMac]

Poor attendance isn't an option - she goes to school it isn't negotiable imo (DH is less strict)

I guess it's hard for her going off to school leave DH & I at home cuddling babies

But if I gave C/Ming up I would have to get a high paying job - as I am not very well qualified for anything that would mean long hours so I don't see how that would help

[KatyMac]

Maybe I should just go & get a job

[terramum]

Who can blame her for preferring home if that means being with her parents and a lovely extended 'family' of mindees. My MIL is a childminder & my DS is very close with all of her mindees & loves being with them.

Her teacher doesn't seem to know her very well...which surprises me as we are 1/2 way through the school year...which means she probably isn't getting a education suitabkle to her needs/ability...

My vote would be home education or a different school that she would actually enjoy going to.

[terramum]

'suitable' even ...not on my pc & missing spellchecker!

[KatyMac]

I hadn't thought about them not knowing her very well - but you could be right

A lot has happened to her in the last year from bereavement (great grandma) through illness (Her dad is being treated at Papworth & I have been generally 'poorly') to job loss - I had to make staff redundant to work insecurity (we nearly lost the business)

Poor poppet when you look at it like that

[terramum]

Sounds like you've all been through a lot . Ony natural for her to want to be close to you & her dad when things have been rough.

[KatyMac]

I suppose so - there is obviously "too much "going on atm

[iwontbite]

only just comeback to this.
I suggested that she may be bright because I had similar issues at school. I found it very boring because I just wasn't being pushed. I did my work in minutes and then was bored until the rest of the class had finished,

but all I could say to my parentsor to my teachers was that i "don't like school" so I guess that's why they never got tot he bottom of the problem.

I wouldh ave a chat with the teacher and if they do think that she is bright and bored/playing the system then they need to start doing things to push her a bit more and interest her a bit more so that she enjoys school and wants to go.
I am sure that between you you could come up with something that makes school a slightly more pleasurable experience for her

[katiestar]

I think she is suffering from Yr 6 syndrome.they all seem to have grown out of primary school by Yr6 finding it all abit babyish and boring and ready to move on.

As others have said most people (even her teacher I daresay)would rather be at home doing our own thing than at work or school !