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When Your Child Doesn't Get A Place in Siblings School

3 replies

charley24 · 22/02/2009 14:27

Hello, I have been visiting for sometime and note the messages from Mum's whose children do not get a place in their preferred school.

One year on I thought I would give my advice/tell my story.

My 1st DD attended a lovely Infant School, then the powers that be closed the school and amalagamed with a few unpopular schools.

We had some trouble with a neighbours child (Boy)who was also going to attend this new school and therefore we moved our daughter to a lovely Catholic school where she made new friends and flourished.

So she began her new school in Year 2. We moved to another town the following year but were confident our DD2 would gain a place. The head of the school knew our history and DD1's problems with other child (including visits to a child psyvhologist - I won't get into the whole story but DD1 did pull her eyebrows out due to worry about attending the school with this boy whom she had problems with in the past). Anyways fast foward and she is happy and confident, top groups for all subjects.

The head of the Catholic school said no problems DD2 would get a place, advised me not even to add 2 other choices - so I didn't.

Letter arrived - she didn't get in and was offered the bad school which we didn't want DD1 to attend.

Tried to appeal but realised that we could not fault the admissions process, despite the fact the head knew our situation and the effects of moving DD1 to another school.

6 Appeals heard by other parents - all failed, no sob stories would suffice, the fact was although we had a sibling link, the catholic children came first and we had no catchment, were not catholic etc...sibling link was number 9...

DD2 was second on list.

Discovered DD2 should not have been offered bad school, instead a good school in our village (they had put our address wrongly in system as we live in a road which covers 2 towns and they added that postcode rather than ours.

So DD2 had a place, BUT this school wouldn't take DD1 because of the PAN. Head said I could appeal but she would argue the reasons NOT to have my child at the detriment to other children (was for a Y4 Place). She was so nasty I decided I couldn't let my children go there.

Another school near our house said they could accommodate DD1...but suprise, they had no place in Reception for DD2.

Gosh this is confusing !

So I had to find another school to take them both and went to another education authority - we live between 2 big towns so found another nice school further from home.

Both girls started in September.

Now, the reason for my post is this. I couldn't get 2 children to 2 schools so my only option was to have them together and take the chance that they would both settle.

I changed my hours at work, learnt to drive in 4 months and bought a second hand car as the school was further away.

All because of the school system.

It has been very very hard, DD1 found it hard to make friends, many nights were spent crying and I said if she was still unhappy in 6 months I would put her back in her old school, employ 2 childminders in each town (which would have killed us financially), however things are calming down. They both went to parties recently and speak about their friends. They don't have many and all the children live far from us and have been at school together for years.

I want to say it is hard, but not impossible. If you have a good reason for appealing then go for it, but your family problems don't always mean anything to the school, they have to follow rules and do things fairly.

If anyone is faced with so much change, you will get there, and months of calls/disappointments are the norm, but I am glad now as things happen for a reason.

My daughters are feeling happier and more confident, they have joined some clubs. I have a fantastic new childminder who lives right next to school and everything is happening closer to home than in our old town (where we used to live) allowing us to get used to the new things here like parks/clubs etc.

And I learnt to drive aged 33, something I never thought I would do.

Chins Up Ladies !!! You will get there and survive - we always do !

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ramonaquimby · 22/02/2009 14:31

glad you have a happy ending but 2nd on the waiting list would pretty much get in to the school - we were 12th for dd1 and had a place on the first day of school. v popular state primary

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charley24 · 22/02/2009 21:04

No such luck, we are still 2nd on that list 7 months later !

The child who is 1st is at a different school and they are still waiting for a place.

The Head said something would come up, but I wouldn't move them now they are settled.

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charley24 · 22/02/2009 21:05

The funny thing is, the class the year before, there were children moving out of area/new children starting and there were quite a few changes.

Seems luck wasn't with us, I have a friend who teaches at the school and she said that 2004 seemed to be a booming year for births !

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