Optional SATS. Do you think DD is trying to pull a fast one, or is really upset?

[katiekkrruunncchh]

DD who is 8 school are doing optional SATS this week, and up until today has been fine!

Today she came home from school, told me what they had to do, letter writing and a game explanation. Then DD went on to say that one little girl burst into tears and she got taken out of the room and was "helped" (these were DDs words not mine) by the TA! I instantly told DD that the TA would have actually not given the other child ideas, as she is not allowed, but probably read through the task with her.

My DD then burst into tears, telling me that she thought she had failed and that when they move into YR4 she will be in the bottom group (where at present she is in the top). I calmed her down by asking what she had written about etc. She wants me to go in and see her teacher and explain how worried she is.

DD has never had a problem with TESTS so far, and has not been worried so far this week. Do you reckon that if she thought that if she cried a little tonight, I would go into school and speak to teacher, she thinks she will get special treatment. Now I do know for a fact that the girl that DD is talking about (really nice little girl) but does have a very pushy mother (which she does admit to!) And I should imagine thats why that little girl gets rather anxious.

Also my DD said to me "Mummy, will you still love me if I fail my SATS?" It broke my heart! Obviously I told her I would!

thanks

[Romy7]

Do you think she was just a bit freaked out by the other girl's reaction? She was probably totally ok but is now a bit fried that the other girl was taking it so badly - sort of starting her worrying 'it must be really bad and really important and really difficult if x burst into tears and needed help'?
My dd (who's also 8 and just done hers...) is the most balanced child, but every time they get a 'project' homework, she panics and bursts into tears. She's in the top group for everything too, but we had an hour of tears the other day because her (little) brother could spell broccoli/brocolli/broccolli and she couldn't...
I wouldn't go into school - or at least I wouldn't let her know I was, because then I'd be making THE TESTS even bigger and scarier - I'd probably just be very reassuring and treat it as one of those things - as long as she knows that the only thing that matters is doing her best and you love her anyway, I'd try and play it down now...

[AMumInScotland]

I'd agree that other people being scared/upset/tearful can often set them off when they weren't actually that bothered until then - a bit like falling over and not being hurt, but then someone asks if you're all right and you start to think maybe you're not IYSWIM?

This may be the first time she's realised that other people react so differently from her, and she's having to check whether reality is what she thought it was, or she's got it wrong and tests are terrifying and you'll judge her on the results.

Just reassure her that she's fine, tests are no big deal, you love her whatever she does, etc and she'll be ok I'm sure.

[katiekkrruunncchh]

Lucky for me I actually work at the school where DDis. I saw her teacher at play time, in passing asked how DD was, fine, teacher replied. I explained why. She said, oh bless her, I did try and give them as much encouragement explaining to them it was just practicing for them for when they got older.
She also explained that she had the other girl taken out because she was "snivelling" (sp) and didnt want to upset other children.

We decided that DD was slightly worried about her work as she knew herself had not written as much as she should have. Also maybe me going into sch would help her out a little and she would get some extra lee way! (oh in the eyes of children!) She honestly thought that the other girl was getting extra help!!!!