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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

I feel like crying, what is a "co-educational psychologist"..

13 replies

marmon · 03/06/2008 09:35

Just dropped ds 4 off at school and spoke to his reception teacher and out of the blue she says shes needs an outside body to come in and help her with my son, as she is very puzzled by him. She is a very nice teacher and told me not to be unduly worried but she really is lost with how to teach him certain things. To be honest she wasnt very specific but from what she said he finds it hard to concentrate.And when she asks him questions his answers do not relate to what she has been saying. Sorry if this is rambling, i just feel a failure he is such a sweet boy and i admit young for his age but he is only 4 and i think to much is expected of them. Does anyone else agree? Has anyone had experience of one of these co-educational people? Any words of comfort would be appreciated.

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TotalChaos · 03/06/2008 09:41

Erm I think the teacher means "educational psychologist" (commonly abbreviated to EP on here). Try not to panic - the EP will look at how he learns, what sort of problems (if any!) he has, and make recommendations to school about what will help with any problems. One thing jumps out at me from your post - could he possibly have slight hearing problems or problems with understanding what people are saying if what he says doesn't relate to what she is asking him?

Don't feel a failure - if he does have problems at the moment, then it's good that he is hopefully going to get the right help, and if he doesn't have problems and teacher is being overcautious, then it's not going to do him any harm getting him checked over.

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jellyhead · 03/06/2008 09:44

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marmon · 03/06/2008 09:44

She did mention something about language. I suppose at home i see this boy who is very outgoing and chatty and a complete technical whizzkid, so it surprises me to hear he is struggling.

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marmon · 03/06/2008 09:48

I found the word puzzled jellyhead a bit odd i have to say, but i find schools so hard on children now especially boys. My dd 10 has always got on o.k at school, she does not like it but she muddles through. I think these little ones should just be playing, not worrying about reaching certain standards. Anyway what does my opinion count im just the parent!!

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TotalChaos · 03/06/2008 09:48

So you think he's got problems with language? Like does he respond appropriately when you and others have conversations with him?

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jellyhead · 03/06/2008 09:54

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cazzybabs · 03/06/2008 09:58

Please don't get too worried - she just wants what is best for your child. Why not go back and ask for a meeting to discuss what is concerning her. But remember what you see at home and at school are different things - children do behave differently and all the teacher wants is to ensure your son is reacing his potential. But I would second the hearing check just in case.

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southeastastra · 03/06/2008 09:59

teacher has recommended one for my ds(6) too, have to admit i cried a lost it a bit. though i will just let them get on with it.

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aintnomountainhighenough · 03/06/2008 12:21

I think the thing these days is that they are trying to spot any 'problems' earlier so that they can be nipped in the bud. It is such a shame that the school havent handled it better, it makes me cross. I would ensure that you are now kept very involved in this process (although I am sure you will be). Why don't you arrange a 1-1 with the teacher to understand in more detail what she is getting at. Whilst it is clearly very upsetting for you the positive thing is that if there is something that needs to be focused on they will pick it up early.

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KaySamuels · 03/06/2008 13:04

Hi there I am goin through a similar thing with my ds aged 3 and a half.

It's so hard and upsetting and unlike my situation it sounds like in your case the teacher could improve her technique. It is very hard emotionally, and the teacher should be sensitive to this IMO.

I agree with the others that suggest you should arrange a meeting with her, and she should be happy to make time for you.

I have had the edpsch put to me as a positive thing for the child as they guide the teacher in techniques that will help them teach each individual child.

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DevilwearsPrada · 03/06/2008 13:04

Marmon I had exactly the same with my dd1 when she started in reception last September. the teacher was "puzzled by her". She is also young for age she's just turned 5. Our appointment is in August with the educational psychologist. So can't yet report on how it went, but like you I was also concerned and upset. My dd is a very happy active child and she has made friends in school. The one thing I have found with her is she does everything in her own time, granted this usually means she is behind her developmental milestones a bit but she does get there in the end. I've dealt with all the emotions that come with it now and am learning to just go with the flow. Try not to worry. ((((hugs))))

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neolara · 03/06/2008 13:20

I really wouldn't worry about it at all. Before kids, I was an EP and we were very often asked to see young children who had difficulties concentrating, particularly during carpet time. It is very, very common and usually there was absolutely no major problem at all.

The EP will probably have a chat with the teacher and you, do an observation and maybe have a chat with your DS. Then she will try to piece together what the issues are (e.g. hearing problems, language being used in the classroom being slightly too difficult for him, how the teacher encourages the kids to concentrate etc). Then she will work with the teacher to try to identify different things the teacher can do so that your child is be able to learn / concentrate better. It should be a very UN-stressful process for your child, and hopefully for you. Please don't think of it as having failed in any way. You, and your child, haven't at all. It's really just a chance for the teacher to have a bit of space to think about how she can help your DS more effectively.

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marmon · 03/06/2008 13:46

Oh thankyou all for your positive words. I have been out this morning so coming home and seeing that i am not alone has made me feel much better. Thankyou Neolara its great to hear from someone who used to be an EP and the teacher did say something about carpet time and how it all seems to go over his head. What worries me is she only said something to me as i went up to her and asked how he was getting on, so i am hoping they work closely with me on this one. Anyway thanks again.