Nosey parents! How to handle re: results!!

[grants1000]

Just had a text from a Mum of a boy in Y6 who has not spoken or seem me in ages which reads :-

'Had ... had his results yet??'

My DS is in Y6 with her DS. I am going to ignore the text. It has pissed me right off because what business is it of hers? I am gobsmacked at the rude, noseyness of her. I am dreading the end of term playground and results chatter, it's private and personal and not for public consumption. I think they get their reports/results on Tuesday.

Give me some things to say that tell people to fuck off and mind your own business ina polite way please.

[Pancakeflipper]

Say "yes. My DS is fab"
When she asks in the playground grin madly and "yes got results. Delighted" and wander off whilst she pins down someone else

[spanieleyes]

Fuck off and mind your own business sounds fine!

[mynameisslimshady]

Yes, they were just as I expected.

I always get it. It bugs me so much, my ds is quite severely dyslexic so I think people try and get his results for things to make themselves feel better. I tell people they aren't my results to share, or that he did really well, which he did, just not if you compare test results.

[piprabbit]

Is she asking for your DCs results or is she trying to find out if the reports have come out (because her DC has successfully destroyed his)?

[JemimaMuddledUp]

Just reply "Yes I have, thanks for asking". It really is none of her business. I have a colleague whose DS is in the same class as DD, she is always trying to compare reading levels/test results etc. Her child is, apparently, a genius. She eventually came to the conclusion that DD must be "struggling" as I wouldn't engage in competitive test result swapping. DD isn't struggling, I just don't think her results are anyone else's business.

[Iamnotminterested]

Surely if her ds is in the same class as your ds the dopey mare should realise that you haven't yet if they come out on Tuesday?

[intheshed]

Maybe just stick to the factual : 'yes they came home in the bookbags, didn't X get his?' If she follows up with asking how he did just say 'great thanks'.

[grants1000]

mynameisslimshady - that is it! My DS is dyslexic and had a reader and a scribe for his SATS which I heard one of the parents saying 'was unfair' Not the same parent who text me, another one.

I think they want to know "how the dyslexic child/ren did" because they want it be be worse than their "normal" child.

That the HUGE myth about dyslexia, it is NOTHING to do with intelligence or ability, it is to do with the skill to write the words on a page or read (which varies greatly from child to child).

I will just smile and say "really great thanks" whilst thinking FUCK RIGHT OFF YOU NOSEY INSECURE HELICOPTER MOTHER!!!!!

[Jinsei]

I would agree with the "yes thanks" approach, and something along the lines of "we were really proud of him/the results were roughly what we were expecting" if they probe further. And if they ask outright what your DS got, just smile and say "I don't really think it's appropriate for us to discuss the actual results, do you?"

[mynameisslimshady]

Grants my ds had the same, I heard some of the other mothers gossiping about how its unfair that some kids were getting help with their exams and the adults would clearly be guiding their answers to make the school look better.

I was fuming, and told them as much, and why, they were all shame faced (but I bet they carried on when I had gone) every one of them asked how ds did yesterday, with a head tilt, and a 'never mind' tone to their voice

(sorry for the hijack op)

[Xihha]

Could it just be that her child hasnt had results yet and she's checking if other people have coz shes forgotten when they were due? I would just say yeah, they came back on friday (or whenever you got them), then wait and see if she asks how your son did.

[mynameisslimshady]

Just realised you are the op I need more coffee

[Kirrin]

I would take that question as checking whether the results are out or not rather than asking how your DS did? A simple yes or no should do it. Obviously if she follows up with a how did he do question that's different.

[AlienAttack]

My DD only in year 1, reports out yesterday, and have just had exactly the same at an extra-curric club this morning! A not-so-subtle enquiry about levels. You know the sort, starts with a "how was minialien's report? we were very pleased with x's report, especially the 2bs, but I'm sure lots of children got the same...how did minialien do?". I just smiled and said yes, both I and minialien were proud of her report. No way am I going to give any detail about levels to anyone else. Certainly not to someone just fishing so they can compare their DC's levels to those of my DD.

[Galena]

Yeah, I agree, maybe just checking whether or not she should have had her DS's yet.

[lljkk]

i am the only person I know of who ever asked about other kids results (DC1's y2). Everyone thought I was terribly gauche & declined to answer. This at a school that most MNers would turn noses up at.

[DaddyPigsMistress]

I would just say yes thanks he did fine! And if she text back for more detail i wluld deliberately play dumb an keep saying he got wht we expected/he did his best/ he got the levels we wanted.

[amotherincognito]

If cornered in person, I find saying "oh I forget" works a treat as it's obvious you haven't really forgotten but just don't want to tell them. Yet they won't want to probe further.

[BackforGood]

How do you know she wants to know your dc's results, and that she's not just asking if they should have come home with the dc on Friday ?

[MrsHoarder]

I read that and assumed she was fretting that her DS's results had been mislaid rather than wanting to know what your DS got. Just say "No they're out on Tuesday" and she can stop worrying about it.

[TheOriginalSteamingNit]

Yes, just say 'yep, think they are all coming out soon', if that's true, or 'nope, think they're out next week', if that's true. Don't assume she's being nosy, she might just want to know when they're coming out!

[Picturesinthefirelight]

Facebook has been full of everyone's year 6 SATS results bring out (they came out on Thursday) I think - so she might be wondering why she hasn't had her sons yet.

[anitasmall]

The solution would be in making all the SATS results public (like hanging the scores at the main reception). Than nobody would spy on other children. Even parents of lower class children could see the improvements made.

[VonHerrBurton]

Oh we've got a mum like this in our playground - doesn't speak to you for years thank god then its beeline time when any results come out.

Her dd is in my ds's class and what's hilarious is she uses my ds as some sort of benchmark, 'as long as you're doing as well as Von, you're ok' er, no love, he was 'quite bright' in infants, decidedly average now :)

I always use the 'oh, we're VERY proud' and you see her seething thinking he must be some brain of Britain.

Don't go into playground at all anymore - he either walks or we wait in the car in a particular place if weather's bad, can't you do that, op? Sorted. Don't even have to see/speak to these people. Ignore texts. Idiots. What are they going to fill their time with in high school?