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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Reading levels, dd needs gagging!

69 replies

BabiesAreLikeBuses · 01/07/2013 19:58

I try so hard not to discuss any of this stuff in the playground and have fobbed other parents off who have asked me...
Today dd was moved up a level. Whoever did so made it clear that she was doing well and that the books with her special sticker on were high for her age and that she had to be taken to the year above to get them...l
After school at the park went up to the mum of one of her classmates and asked what level her daughter was on said mother clearly amused and irritated... Had to have a chat about modesty...

OP posts:

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simpson · 01/07/2013 20:06

Hee hee!!

DD can be like this...

She very loudly told me (infront of uber competitive mum) at pick up time that she was the only reception child to be picked to read in assembly because she is so good at it.

Jinsei · 01/07/2013 20:08

I have always made it very clear to dd that we don't discuss "levels" with anyone outside the family. We have even "rehearsed" responses in case any of her friends should ask her. She's 8 now so nobody is interested in reading levels any more, but the same rule still applies to NC levels. Not for public consumption. :)

BabiesAreLikeBuses · 01/07/2013 20:29

If it had been ds i wouldn't have been surprised but she's normally the shy twin! Of course she picked a mum i'm not friendly with - and told me later she knew the child was on pink! So it'll have to be like fight club.
The first rule of book band colours is that we don't talk about book band colours.

OP posts:

Periwinkle007 · 01/07/2013 20:30

my daughter did something similar when she went up a box, she went running over to a friend who had been the same level as her and announced she had gone up a box. I saw the little girls face fall and we had strict words after that. she couldn't see what she had done wrong because she was just excited and had only just found out she had gone up a box plus to be fair I expect the other little girl would have done similar without thinking if roles had been reversed. just one of those things.

simpson · 01/07/2013 21:26

I have had words with DD about not bragging discussing things she is good at as she might hurt other childrens feelings and I have emphasised that there are areas she is not good at and others are and it would be boring if everyone was the same.

Unfortunately I don't seem to be able to tackle the very loud voice even though she is only speaking to me, the whole world can hear!

Meglet · 01/07/2013 21:32

"The first rule of book band colours is that we don't talk about book band colours."

oh I love this babies .

AFAIK DS hasn't said anything to his friends but a couple of the other boys have come up to me and asked me if he really is on such and such level, so I've had to fudge a diplomatic response. Not sure if they've just sussed it out in class or he's been talking about it.

Periwinkle007 · 01/07/2013 21:47

they have probably sussed it out Meglet, some kids notice things going on in the classroom more than others (some are plain nosy and like to know what is going on!)

conorsrockers · 01/07/2013 21:58

Now I'm confused - DS3 is Yr1 now so they don't do bands anymore, but when mine went through reception all the children knew what group each were in and what colour they were on. They got a sticker when they went up a colour/band so it was common knowledge (amongst children and parents) is that really bad!? I don't remember any 'competitiveness' though...

Periwinkle007 · 01/07/2013 22:00

perhaps because it was all open there was no competitiveness?

BriansBrain · 01/07/2013 22:05

I really don't understand all of this at all and I'm on my 3rd in reception.

People honestly tell their children not to be proud of their good news incase adults don't like it?

Jeez.

MilkRunningOutAgain · 01/07/2013 22:09

It's open at the kids school, the books have coloured stickers on them indicating the level, so you can see exactly what colour everyones book is when they read them. And it's still extremely competitive. DD knows the level of nearly all the class and tells me when other kids move up.

simpson · 01/07/2013 22:17

Brainsbrain - there are some horrible competitive mums in DD's reception class. I have a DS in yr3 and have never experienced anything like it.

One mother does a spreadsheet weekly of who gets the golden book award (to complain if her DC does not get it enough).

Ditto class bear.

One mother picked up DD for me when I had an emergency with DS and looked in her book bag and kicked off to the school about how she was getting spellings and her DC wasn't.

Another mother has slagged me off to other mothers for being a single parent and tried to befriend my friends to find out what book level my DD is on and to turn my friends against me.

Another mother has said her child is being discriminated against ( and complained to the school about it) because her DC was not doing extension work with my DD (how she found out I do not know).

I always pick up DS first so the horrible competitive mums are gone, not that I care what they think or say tbh as long as it does not impact on DD.

But it takes the fun out of things, there is a celebration assembly next week and if DD does anything out of the ordinary in it then they kick off (they did at Xmas when DD read the closing prayer in the Nativity despite one of their kids having the much wanted Mary role).

Jinsei · 01/07/2013 22:20

People honestly tell their children not to be proud of their good news incase adults don't like it?

Who said anything about telling them not to be proud? I want dd to be proud of her achievements, and I'm proud of them too. That doesn't mean she needs to broadcast them or discuss them with all and sundry.

fuzzpig · 01/07/2013 22:26

Simpson there are some parents who hang around late once a week to find out which child is getting star of the week (by seeing whose parents hang around to go to the assembly)

fuzzpig · 01/07/2013 22:27

I haven't noticed any competitiveness about reading levels though.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 01/07/2013 22:31

simpson that is horrendous!

Reading levels are all open at DS1's school, he is in reception. Parent helpers read with their own child's class, so there are a whole load of us who know how all the children in the class are doing.
The children all know who is on which box, they discuss it at length and pat each other on the back when they go up a level which is very cute :)

BriansBrain · 01/07/2013 22:41

Well my DD stands at the gate shouting "I have good reading stickers" "I've got a new colour book" "I'm star of the day"

Fair play to her and her good day, broadcast away...

Maybe we have nicer parents at our small school or maybe I don't notice because I couldn't care less what level anyone else is on and I'm just as happy when the next child comes out happy about their stickers and new levels.

headinhands · 01/07/2013 22:43

^People honestly tell their children not to be proud of their good news incase adults don't like it?

Jeez.^

It's not the same. It's akin to a friend who tells you about anything they've just got that's better than what you have just because they think it is better than what you have'. Yes it's a part of human nature, but it's a part we teach our children to curb because it's anti-social and makes you look like a feckin' tool.

BriansBrain · 01/07/2013 22:46

They are 5!!

If you can't be proud and boastful about a sticker or new reading level when you are 5 what is left?

Should they not jump for joy when they learn to ride a bike incase it upsets a parent?

headinhands · 01/07/2013 22:51

We're not talking about the parents feelings, we're talking about modelling the way our children talk about their achievements. If you bought a 10 bedroomed house and them saw the mum of your friend who only has 3 bedrooms would your first instinct be to go and ask the mum if your friend still only had 3 bedrooms just so you could have a chance to tell her about your new bedroomed festooned abode?

headinhands · 01/07/2013 22:53

So what age do you start teaching your child about those sorts of norms if not by 5?

EverybodysStressyEyed · 01/07/2013 22:56

DS' school is like Alibaba's - DS knows how all his friends are doing and he knows who he is on the same level as. They like to chat about the books they have read.

It's quite sweet because they do encourage each other but also have a bit of friendly competition.

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JewelFairies · 01/07/2013 22:57

Never mind the children. I find it really hard not to brag about how far my pfb has come in her reading from barely speaking aged 3

BriansBrain · 01/07/2013 23:03

Plenty of other times to help teach them about these things.

I Just don't feel that the end of a good school day is a good time to instill a lesson into a child, let them have their glory.

We are at the school gate for 5 seconds and then heaps of praise in the car.

We must be lucky or oblivious but this doesn't happen at our school, thankfully.

Startail · 01/07/2013 23:16

I have the dubious pleasure of being the mother of the best and the worst reader in the class.

And now they are at senior school, you can guess which one's nose is never out of a book?

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