Acceptable language in Y5

[ninah]

ds has started a new school and has settled in really well except for a couple of things .. he is worried about a classmate who he says is being bullied. When I've raised it (I work there too) staff say, oh well, he winds them up. It seems to be happening all the time.
ds has come home with some choice new vocab. Wanker, fair enough, but also spaz??? and asking what bum rape is?
It's bit awkward raising issues as parent/teacher but I am going to, for the 's' word alone. what I want to know is what kind of language is within accepted parameters of pre-adolescent playground chat?

[FadedSapphire]

IMy children are younger but all those words unacceptable to me and I would raise issue of playground talk to school. Nasty words/ bullying words/ hurtful words.

[Feenie]

I teach Y5 - none of those words are in any way acceptable. You're right to speak to the teacher.

[FranSanDisco]

I think it needs to be raised. I work at primary level and in the staff room recently one of the teachers referred to some of the children as retards. I was totally shocked and pulled her on it saying it was not acceptable in this day and age (old fogey that I am) but because her pre-teen children use the word she thought she was being 'with it'. She did apologise but ignorance is no excuse.

[ninah]

I know it has to be done. I think it needs to be done in writing. Am not going to be popular, but that's nothing new

[ThreeBeeOneGee]

I have children in Y8, Y6 and Y4.

I'm sure the eldest has heard the word 'wanker' by now, probably Y7 if not Y6.

The other two are completely outside the range of what I would be expecting them to hear in the playground.

[ninah]

that's what I thought 3b, I haven't heard the s word since the 70s
I was shocked

[OldBeanbagz]

I have DC in Y6 & Y3 and am pretty sure they've not hear the words spaz or bum rape. Maybe Y6 would have heard the word wanker but not at school (or at home for that matter).

Was really to find out that one of the girls in the Y6 class used the word 'Paki' and am in two minds as to whether i ought to say something about that.

[ninah]

yup, that's another one they use, it seems habitually vile tbh

[Wellthen]

I don't think this would be seen as acceptable by any primary but if it is playground chat then there isn't much they can do except ask children to report it. Still raise it though as the teachers can do a stern reminder of the serious consequences of this language.

[Feenie]

Including recording the use of the word 'Paki' as a racist incident.

[Dededum]

Yr 5 - keeps using the phrase 'rape face' - nice
Yr 7 - bitch slap, bitch,

Very grim,

[ninah]

children will not report there is a strong anti 'snitch' culture, ds is terrified to say anything to anyone
I don't want to have to explain 'bum rape', and I don't want these other vile terms normalised

[Feenie]

The school need to work urgently on that culture, it's not on.

[QueenofLouisiana]

I teach some challenging yr 5s- not heard any of those phrases. I think it needs to be brought up.

[FadedSapphire]

What is school like re bullying? Should have active policy.
Asemblies, PHSE etc should cover such appalling language and the implications of it. A culture of not snitching and your child being terrified of 'telling' sets off major alarm bells to me about this school.

[ninah]

policies are out of date
ds was bullied at his previous school, hence moved - he is not being bullied himself at this school but recognises the signs hence his upset on behalf of other dc

[FadedSapphire]

Pull school up on it Ninah if you feel able. Check website for anti bullying policy- should be there. Did school have anti bullying week? School need to be on top of this.

[BabiesAreLikeBuses]

I agree am a y5 teacher, in ten years i haven't had them use any of these. They are generally aware of the f word but won't use it just come to me and say 'so and so in y6 said the f word'... They know we contact parents and remove them from the playground for this. Staff reaction at yours sounds worrying....
I would also question where they got spaz and bum rape from, the latter could be an older sibling but not heard the former for years and years, it's not a typical insult even with teenagers in this area...

[pillow1999]

My DS yr 6.... knows all these words and more......... he comes home and reports what is being said and i explain what everything means and what is acceptable.

Most kids would not say any of these things in front of a teacher therefore I dont believe a teacher could really do anything even if told.

I have told the teacher of the sex talk so she is aware when she does the sex ed............ to prepare her for the ''questions''

[FadedSapphire]

I think if children are calling each other 'spaz' and 'wanker' etc at school it IS school's job to pick up on it. Language like that to other children is at best unkind behaviour and at worst bullying. Also if used flippantly without malice child still needs to be told utterly unacceptable.

[BabiesAreLikeBuses]

A lot depends on the school's culture. If language like this is used in our playground i tend to have ten kids ready to see me at 1.30 ranging from the telltale to the genuinely upset ones. If it isn't tackled then it is condoned. Not a great message for a ten year old.

[ninah]

the only policy on the web is the admissions policy

[FadedSapphire]

Mmm.. not sure what ofsted would think of such slackness ninah!

[ninah]

they thought it required improvement ...

[Feenie]

Most kids would not say any of these things in front of a teacher therefore I dont believe a teacher could really do anything even if told.

If 10 kids say they heard it, with reactions ranging as described by BabiesAreLikeBuses, then there is a lot we can do.