Would you give a Xmas gift to your child's teacher but not the TA?

(40 Posts)
MayaAngelCool Tue 11-Dec-12 23:34:57

This term I've got to know DS's class teacher fairly well, and she is excellent. I'd like to get her a thank-you gift for the end of term.

This evening I remembered to my horror that there's also a TA in the class - I've only ever seen her once, and we had a brief playground chat. She's not a warm person at all, and I don't especially like what I've seen of her. However, I don't doubt that she does a great job in the classroom.

I'm feeling really bad about essentially forgetting her existence in my present planning, but it seems false to get a gift for someone I hardly know and don't particularly like. At the same time it feels wrong to just get one for the teacher.

I'm interested to know what you all would do in this situation.

letseatgrandma Fri 14-Dec-12 20:36:06

I buy for teachers but not TAs. Some of the TAs flit between classes and are only with the children for part of the day-it would get expensive to buy for all of the TAs that work in my children's classes.

My daughter has made personalised mugs for her teacher and her one to one lady. I've just realised there are 2 TA's as well in her class! (She hasn't been there long). In my defence. Maybe I'll get them some chocs. smile

GW297 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:49:46

If the TA is shared between 2 or even 3 classes they can end up with loads of gifts. I think the teacher should get more in recognition of the fact that they are the child's teacher. I wouldn't buy nice gifts for school staff I wasn't keen on or didn't rate and I wouldn't write nice things in their card that I didn't mean.

suebfg Wed 12-Dec-12 22:39:42

At our school, vouchers are given to the teacher and the TA but the teacher is given s higher value. I am a bit uncomfortable with this - surely they should get the same

ninah Wed 12-Dec-12 22:39:08

for my own dc I just give to the people I think have done a great job really - and I also gave a TA a plant for clearing up dd's projectile vomit across the hall.

ninah Wed 12-Dec-12 22:36:44

oh that's good, it can count for NQT then? I'm on a mat cover (come back lovely new mum, hurry! lol)

Greensleeves Wed 12-Dec-12 22:33:31

I know ninah, I am very lucky at the moment (I am only doing supply, but lots of it in the same school, which is lucky in this area at the moment!)

I did encounter a couple of really disgusting people (teacher and TAs) when I was training. I saw one slap a child with SEN and another pick him up by one arm and one leg and dump him in a corner sad

would still treat my own children's teachers and TAs equally though unless I knew somebody was actually horrible.

ninah Wed 12-Dec-12 22:24:47

snog I agree
I'm a new teacher too, greensleeves, and you are lucky - it's not always the way - TAs (as teachers) do vary

Rudolphstolemycarrots Wed 12-Dec-12 22:02:01

I'd love to buy for the TA too but there are so many helpers in the class and I'd worry about leaving someone out.

GW297 Wed 12-Dec-12 21:27:19

I'm with you snog!

Snog Wed 12-Dec-12 21:23:09

I wouldn't buy a TA present if I didn't like the TA unless my child really rated them

Fuzzymum1 Wed 12-Dec-12 21:20:51

I will buy for the teacher and both TAs - one of whom is a one to one for another child, but my son loves her and wants to buy for her.

survivingwinter Wed 12-Dec-12 20:22:52

I know what you are saying OP. My DS's TA has been less than friendly to me over the last 4 yrs I have had children going in and out of that class but I know she does some sterling work with my DS and has helped him a lot so I will be getting her a present to say thanks!

I am struggling this year with the whole teacher/presents thing because I do think it is nice to say thanks to teachers and TA's (they do work very hard) for families in real hardship I think it causes difficulties because it is the 'done thing'.

DewDr0p Wed 12-Dec-12 20:06:41

I would always do both or neither.

Certainly at our school the TAs are very skilled and work very hard - they are a crucial part of the team and don't get paid an awful lot to boot.

Hulababy Wed 12-Dec-12 20:02:46

A fair few people do.
I'm a TA and some people do give to teacher and not the TA. Some give to both and some give to neither.

I am always appreciative of any thanks I receive in whatever form - card, letter/note or gift. They are appreciated and def not expected. I work with all the children, plus do PPA cover for the class too (as well as for 3 other classes - but parents would never see me in the other classes, only my main room).

For my DD's school - I ask DD who she wishes to give cards/gifts too.

MoaningMingeWhimpersAgain Wed 12-Dec-12 19:57:12

I have sent a small present for the teacher only but there have been numerous TAs through the year and I have only seen the current one a couple of times. I will be taking some cakes and chocolate to be shared in the staffroom for anyone too, though.

Is the TA a general class one or for a specific child/children? It may be that the TA has little to do with your DS.

MayaAngelCool Wed 12-Dec-12 18:47:03

Greensleeves, don't worry about it! smile

Mrz, I don't know - the only time he ever mentioned her was when I asked him about her! But I assume she does a lot as TAs always do.

Anyway that is the right question to ask, as her grumpiness wasn't the main reason I was querying the present issue; it was primarily because I barely know her. But as you all say, TAs always work hard and DS will know her, so that's reason enough for a Xmas thankyou.

In my opinion TAs do a hell of a lot in class. I had never met dds at her old school apart from once for a few minutes and she wasn't very communicative but I know for a fact she did lots with dd.

So I would buy both as TA often get missed.

mrz Wed 12-Dec-12 18:03:45

How well does your child know the TA?

MayaAngelCool Wed 12-Dec-12 17:50:49

Yep, I know, I'm judging her based on relatively little direct contact. But then we all do that, don't we.

Part of the problem in terms of how I view her is that DS's reception teacher & TA set an extremely high bar as they were terrific - highly professional and very warm and engaging. This year I didn't even know who the TA was until 2 months into term, and then whenever I've seen her she's looked grumpy and forbidding. Then in the one convo I had with her (btw I should have said above that I've met her once, not "seen" her once) she didn't smile and looked like she didn't want to be there. I imagine just about everyone would come away with a negative impression of someone who behaved that way, right? Also when I asked DS what she was like, he said she was 'sort of alright'.

Chipping and upstart make an excellent point, that she supports the teacher in being excellent. So I'll definitely get her something as a thankyou.

gymboywalton Wed 12-Dec-12 13:11:59

'she's not a warm person at all'.....and yet you've only met her once

so 'in the one brief playground chat we had once, she wasn't at all warm'hmm

SunflowersSmile Wed 12-Dec-12 13:06:25

Cards only from my children too- older one will write personalised message to teacher and couple of TAs.

RaisinBoys Wed 12-Dec-12 12:44:40

Goodness, apologies! Terrible grammar! "anything but a card".

Sorry it's late...been on nights!

RaisinBoys Wed 12-Dec-12 12:42:31

Am i the first to say that neither the Teacher nor the TA will be getting nothing but a card?

Clearly really mean in this household but DS will write a card and we'll send our best wishes and thanks for putting up with them for another term!!!

Teachers and TA get a small pressie from us at the end of the academic year.

That's enough, it's a recession...and they do get paid! dives under the table for cover

I see lovely parents who, frankly, haven't got a pot to piss in, worrying about what they should buy for the Teacher. It's ridiculous.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now