I want to move my children out of their Catholic School, help me make a decision!!

[coni336]

I have 2 children one in Year 1 and one in Year 3. They attend our local Catholic school where I also work (makes things 1000 x harder). My 8 year old has come home a few times quite worried and scared about his RE lessons. They have been learning about Purgatory and some other quite scary stories which I think are a bit heavy for children his age.

My husband is totally against religion and he didn't want the children to go to that school in the first place. I am a bit torn as I wanted them to have the discipline and moral teaching BUT I was naive about how much it actually was. So it is my fault entirely and I know you are going to say 'you chose it, you should've know' etc... but anyway now I want them to change schools to another local school that is very good but I am very nervous about making this decision. The other thing is that how do I talk to the head/my boss about it without it affecting my job! Will he expect me to hand in my notice too?? Can I still say 'I like working here but it's not what I want for my children?'
Oh i just dont know what to do...

[HouseOfTinsel]

I don't think your concerns are AT ALL unreasonable.

I suppose you have to consider:

How would the children feel about moving?

Is there room at the other school?

If you didn't move them, would you tell the school what had happened, and ask how they will address the fact that they have caused distress through their teaching methods?

Whether you would want to stay if your children didn't? They can't sack you because you have moved your children, but I can understand that it might be uncomfortable for you.

[TalkinPeace2]

"as my children get older they are more aware of me working in the school that they want to be "their" place, so I'm moving them."
Presumably the school is not your catchment one, so there should be no problem

[coni336]

Well, I knew there would be RE lessons, hymn practice, Mass every term but was not aware about how it was going to affect my child. He comes home saying things like, 'if you don't confess what you have done wrong you will go to purgatory', 'if you let someone push in in the queue you will go to Heaven' he was really scared one night about the 'angel of death' etc....! It has caused many arguments with me and my husband. I agree with him entirely about the reasons to move them but I am absolutely petrified that they will be unhappy/bullied at their new school? My eldest wouldn't mind moving but my youngest will find it hard, especially because of leaving friends behind but I think he would make new ones quite easily.
It would be very uncomfortable for me to work there but I do actually like my job and so convenient with school hols.
I would complain about the way that RE is being taught but at the end of the day it is a Faith school so what did I expect. Religion can be scary.
Thanks for your thoughts. I need to find a way to explain to my head my reasons without offending him, quite tricky. And yes there are spaces in the other school.

[TalkinPeace2]

Kids cope with moving schools - it happens all the time for lots of reasons

[HouseOfTinsel]

That sounds awful, I'd definitely move them, especially since you have one in Year 1.

It's ironic that 'teaching morality' involves scaring little children in such a way.

I suppose you can just stay on in your job and see how it is, at least until you can find another.

[HouseOfTinsel]

Re what you tell the head, quote the instances you have given here, at least as a starting point.

Any reasonable person should be able to see why a child was upset by being told that sort of thing, and why you don't wish it to continue. And if they aren't reasonable about it, then you know you have definitely made the right decision.

[GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy]

My eldest is in a Catholic school that i know very well and their teachings are absolutely nothing like that. Hellfire went out with demon nuns. i can't say whether you should move your children but i'd definitely have a word about their teaching style even if you do move them. No school, Catholic or not, needs to teach like that.

[IndigoBelle]

I would absolutely say that you're moving them because they don't like being in the same school you work at.

Your HT can't say anything against that.

[TalkinPeace2]

DH goes to lots of schools and Catholic ones are very variable in their attitude.
Best not to broach the RE teaching - could make working tricky.
Just say you don't want them at your school. Simple, and true.