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Is it really bad form to take your children with you to parents evening?

51 replies

headfairy · 21/11/2012 20:07

It's my first one, parents evening that is, and my mum is recovering from an op so can't look after the children while we go. I can get a 5.30 appointment but in order for dh and I to both go we'd need to take the kids. Is it better for just one of us to go rather than take them?

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ImaginateMum · 21/11/2012 20:09

Can't you find a friend who has a close-ish appointment and take turns watching each other's children?

I took mine once. The school were fine with it, I got almost zero out of the appointment as was so busy distracting / juggling toys / dishing out raisins, etc.

It is really better to be child-free if you can.

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YouBrokeMySmoulder · 21/11/2012 20:10

Yes, only one of you can go unless they are old enoughto sit in reception on their own. At ours they can over the age of 8. Can they go in the room with you if its not secondary and possibly encouraged? No.

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rcs19 · 21/11/2012 20:10

I'm a secondary school teacher and many parents bring their kids to parents evening, it's not a problem.

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MirandaWest · 21/11/2012 20:11

I take the DC to parents evening. They lurk around outside the classroom. Hasn't been a problem at all.

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OddBoots · 21/11/2012 20:11

It really depends on how your children are and how you think they will cope and allow you to chat. I've had to take mine with me at times so have brought things I know would keep them quiet like a story CD in a player with headphones or a game system or sticker book. Sometimes needs must, don't sweat it.

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TapselteerieO · 21/11/2012 20:11

It is not considered bad at the school my dc go to.

The child the teacher wants to see sits with us, the other dc sit quietly elsewhere - school encourages the children to be a part of the discussion.

No problems.

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FushiaFernica · 21/11/2012 20:13

I always take my dd and it is not a problem, she loves to hear what the teacher has to say about her.

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Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 21/11/2012 20:13

We took the dds to parents evening. There was a classroom next door set up with boxes of toys, books, Lego etc and a film on the projector! That's the way to do it.

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Taffeta · 21/11/2012 20:15

My DC always come to parents evening, DH never home in time. They sit outside and play. They are 6 and 9.

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YouBrokeMySmoulder · 21/11/2012 20:15

Fushia unfortunately not everyone gets to hear good things! My ds wouldnt take it very well at all. Ds school dont beat about the bush at all.

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SavoyCabbage · 21/11/2012 20:16

I take mine too and they loiter. It's fine.

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purplecrayon · 21/11/2012 20:17

I think it would be best for just one of you to go so that you can go childfree. You will be able to talk more easily without distractions and it will be more useful. I always go alone. Sometimes I think it's easier for the teacher to deal with one person rather than being outnumbered.

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ByTheWay1 · 21/11/2012 20:21

At infant/primary age we took them and they sat outside the room reading.

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akaemmafrost · 21/11/2012 20:23

Our school has a crèche while its on, so you can park dc in there. They also take responsibility for my ds with autism, which is great.

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morethanpotatoprints · 21/11/2012 20:24

I would just ask the teacher as all schools are different.
Some have a dedicated area for siblings etc. Others would prefer you didn't as space for teachers and parents are limited, without extra dc.
I'm sure they won't mind if you explain you are without childcare, and its only usually 5 min appointment anyway.

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teacherwith2kids · 21/11/2012 20:27

In the school I teach in, and at my children's school, children attend parents' evening meeting with their parents - it is expected that they come with their parents, and that they are party to all the discussions.

It means that if there are serious issues we make separate appointments with parents outide normal parents' evening slots - but that is surely the norm everywhere, as nothing that is said a a parents' evening should come as a shock.

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BeehavingBaby · 21/11/2012 20:29

Ours are straight after school at desks around the hall, so the kids just amuse themselves out of earshot. Is fine.

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simpson · 21/11/2012 20:29

I would hate to take my kids to parents eve tbh.

I am a LP so have to try and find someone to have them but if I did take them I know I would not be able to concentrate properly on what the teacher was saying (but then I am there on my own not with a DH to help).

Also DS (yr3) would hate to hear anything bad about himself (as someone else said).

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headfairy · 21/11/2012 20:30

It's only a ten minute meeting but the dcs are young, ds is 5 and dd is 3 in 6 weeks. We've got such a short window of opportunity to book our appointments I'm not sure I'm going to have time to ask other mums if they can watch my children while we see the teacher... I'm on shift for the next 2 days so I won't be able to do either school run and grab the teacher to ask her and we have to have the form in in Monday!

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jimmenycricket · 21/11/2012 20:33

I took Dd last year and she was an absolute PITA! Not helped by a hovering headmistress who seemed to be randomly winding up children Hmm

This year I'm going on my own.

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Everlong · 21/11/2012 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Svrider · 21/11/2012 20:39

I take all 3 Smile

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FionaJT · 21/11/2012 20:40

My dd's school says no kids, but this year I couldn't make arrangements and had to take dd (7). There were lots of kids in the playground, various parents that I knew hanging out waiting for partners/children/their slot etc and the Headmaster was wandering around keeping an eye out. So she scooted off and played with friends while I went in.

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littleducks · 21/11/2012 20:44

I've taken mine since dd was in reception, so ds was about 3. They played with toys outside the classroom door once but now just sit and read. They get a treat afterwards for good behaviour.

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cece · 21/11/2012 20:47

At my DS1 junior school they expect you to bring them with you to the appointment so that they can attend with you.

There is also no problem with bringing the other DC either. I just leave DD in charge of DS2 outside the classroom.

The infant school used to run a creche facility in the hall with toys out and a video on in the corner. Manned by the Governors.

DD is at secondary school. I suspect I will only be taking her and DH to her parents evening and getting a babysitter for the boys.

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