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Preteens

Are these self-hatred comments normal in DD age 10

6 replies

Jinglebellsarecoming · 07/07/2014 13:02

I am am beginning to really worry about my DD. She is a 'difficult' child in terms of managing her emotions and angry outbursts of behavior but we are working on that and she is making some progress.

However she is always saying she is fat (she looks pregnant due to the shape of her tummy - like a toddlers and posture), stupid (she had some mild learning and speech issues due to dyspraxia) and that everyone hates her. For instance I found this morning written by her on my to do list 'Charlotte is a big stupid fat person'.

How can I judge when an issue is an issue that needs intervention over and above the general parenting I do as routine?

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readrunraverelax · 07/07/2014 13:11

I am a primary teacher. I would say that this is not normal. I am very sorry to hear your daughter feels like this. She needs help.

Maybe you should ask GP for referral so child pshchologist. Overall she sounds very unhappy.

Good luck!

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readrunraverelax · 07/07/2014 13:12

referral to child psychologist#


Excuse typing errors-I am typing too quickly!
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Jinglebellsarecoming · 07/07/2014 13:16

Thanks readrun - its so difficult to judge, especially as she is an 'only'DD.

I think you are right - off to the GP's I go! I think I will also try and keep a note of comments etc etc for evidence.

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CeliaFate · 17/07/2014 08:54

What did the g.p. say Jinglebells? I hope your dd feels better about herself soon. I think it's a very difficult age, dc get very conscious about looks and fitting in with the right kids.
Perhaps suggest you start going out as a family on walks/bike rides/swimming?
Exercise is a natural mood lifter and will help get her fitter and hopefully give her more confidence.

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Jinglebellsarecoming · 28/07/2014 11:28

So sorry for not replying celia, somehow I hid my own thread! GP useless and said I was being over sensitive. So thinking of trying to see someone privately. My DD is very against more 'special' appointments as she has loads for minor medic issues like ENT, podiatry, elocution etc etc.

Behaviour is still worrying but improved. Yes to the excersise but like her mother she is naturally lazy so it's not a easy thing but it is essential as she is getting chubby as well and is sensitive about that too.

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CeliaFate · 28/07/2014 12:27

Sorry to hear the dr was rubbish - is there a different one you could see at the practice?
I'm going through it with ds at the moment; we actually have a CAMHS referral pending.
What I've found helps is to make plans for him, to keep him busy. I don't offer the option, I just say, "Today I've asked Bob to come swimming with us. We're picking him up at 2." Ds hates opening up, so I've started texting him! Smile Just little things like, "I love you" so he knows I'm thinking of him, it does help his self-esteem.
Hope your dd feels better soon.

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