Oh my! 12 yr old's meltdown

[Roma2013]

...caused by me saying she had to have a shower as she d been doing sport all day. She argued back. I insisted. She went into bathroom for five mins (I d turned on the shower). She came out with a towel around her, claiming she d had one. She still smelled whiffy and was clearly lying. I told her she had to get back in. Complete wild meltdown! She pulled the shower curtain off, threw water at me (I laughed and threw some back which probably didnt help); screaming 'I hate you!! You've ruined my day! I hate everyone in this house!!' Water on the floor of bathroom so she slipped onto her bottom when she got out. Even lashed out at me at some point at the same time raging 'I'm going to call ChildLine!' Lol. Actually think she shocked herself as was starting to hyperventilate. Anyway, all ended well with me saying I didn't expect that sort of behaviour and she d be grounded from Friday's party if she continued. Brought her downstairs - juice and chocolate for the shock, Nurofen for the headache she'd given herself, and a cuddle from me. Clearly hormonal (she's just started periods 3 weeks ago) but oh my word...Is this what's in store??

[Turniptwirl]

Sounds like you handled it well, I think they do scare themselves with these fits of anger over seemingly little things. You made sure she knew it wasn't acceptable but that you understood and still l

[Turniptwirl]

And still loved her that should have ended!

[Theas18]

Practice my stock phrases:

If I can smell you from where I sit you aren't having tea till you don't smell anymore- and that doesn't mean when you stink of impulse and BO...

No TV if I can smell you from where I sit....

Yes I do love you, know I'm not the meanest mummy in the world, I could be meaner, I could let you smell!

(Caveat she now showers more often, apparently uses deodorant and still smells, so maybe I've just got a rather smelly version of the teenage girl? Glad I don't teach in summer as it must be pretty ripe in classrooms after 1st lesson PE!)

You did fine :)

[Sparklymommy]

My dd,10, is having meltdowns all the time. Last week she had one and by the end of it she was bawling her eyes out and telling me that she hated herself. Very worried about her. It's constant at the moment.

Sounds like you handled it well. I am trying a similar way of dealing with dd, but it isn't easy! Definitely hormones.

[Notmyidea]

Theas18, I love those! Think I might show her the thread in a calm moment to illustrate that she (and I) are not alone!

[ItsDecisionTime]

It won't take long for someone in her peer group to tell her she smells. That will sort her out. Keeping them clean is one of the worst challenges for the mum of a preteen. They're not mature enough to appreciate how offensive it is to everyone else. As for the argument, you'll soon learn the need to only pick the most important arguments and the rest of the stuff, leave it to her. She will learn - eventually.

[2kidsintow]

Another shower-dodging 12 year old. I thought mine was the only one.
She too has been known to run the water and pretend, then become indignant when she is caught out.

[4LittleBubbles]

Oh no, 2kids, we all have them. Apparently it's too much effort. And she doesn't like being wet. That's a great one, considering you're a swimmer...
What I do, is if she has an activity in the evening, as soon as she's home she's ushered into the bathroom and I stand guard outside. Then it's over and done with.
Meltdowns are the norm now, for us, I'm afraid.

[Madamecastafiore]

The shower dodging sounds like dd, she a pods teeth brushing too.

I removed all smellies from her room and told her if she wants to smell of stale sweat and have camel's arse breath I wasn't holding her back but she wasn't going to mask the fact that she was vile and dirty with a whole host of chemicals paid for by me.

I did threaten to stop washing her clothes too so she could get the proper authentic vagrant look and smell and have her hair cropped if she wasn't going to wash it!