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Preteens

DD has a temper - how to control it

9 replies

arghhhhhhhhhh · 03/04/2013 11:47

DD is 10, yr 5 - does really good at school, keeps out of trouble etc but at home dear me what a temper - i am thinking hormones and i can cope with the rudeness. defiance and back chat but we have had a few instances lately where she has taken it out on her brother who is 6, i get younger brothers are annoying but this week after he allegedly crashed into ehr with his scooter she has dragged him to the ground where he bashed his chin to bleed and today because she wanted her pen back she grappled with him and then stabbed his arm with it (pen nib was in) so it left a round mark which has now faded. I have just had a chat abotu criminal responsibility and stopped a cinema trip today which obviously affects ds as well and me because frankly i was looking fwd to it. ANy tips or words of wisdom? Is this the norm? Am i goingt o have to turn into a CSI investigator? On the whole they do get on and more often than not she wants him to play with her.

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CuppaTea83 · 03/04/2013 18:00

I would love some answers to this too!
My DD is 9 (Year 4) and again she is an angel at school. Gets on well with children and teachers alike.
At home she has such anger. If she loses a game, or feels she's being hard done by or is asked to do something she doesn't like.
She takes it out on younger siblings too. Not so much violently but very verbally aggressive, screaming, door slamming.

I agree, just aarrgghh! Smile

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arghhhhhhhhhh · 03/04/2013 19:26

its tiring i feel like all day i have been a referee ! they were only in the garden half an hour and they started again, dd was soon banished to her room after i caught her give him a head poke Angry

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AdoraBell · 04/04/2013 15:50

Mine have tantrum boxes, shoe box with a slit in the lid. They are supposed to write down whatever is bugging them and pop it in the box. On paper they can use whatever language they need to express their anger.

It helps to stop things boiling over, so instead of picking on DS she could write about you not allowing her to replace dinner with sweets, you and DH not simply handing over the famiily income when she wants something, or whatever her issue is in that moment. It's important she knows you won't read her tantrums unless she wants you, much like a diary.

Disclaimer. Mine are just as stroppy as any other preteen and I frequently forget to tell them to write, but when I remember it does help.

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arghhhhhhhhhh · 04/04/2013 16:16

do you secretly read them though ?Grin

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UptoapointLordCopper · 14/04/2013 18:52

I am so stealing the tantrum box idea. Probably best not to read them. DSs obsessed with the idea of swearing at the moment...

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lljkk · 14/04/2013 19:08

Dd is like this too (sigh).

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Mumzy · 20/04/2013 01:41

I was like this at this age I do remember feeling very hormonally similar to mild PMT as if the world was against me and I loved to get a reaction from swearing. No solutions but hopefully some insight into why she may be doing it

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mumindoghouse · 20/04/2013 16:09

Have 10 yr old son does same. Mouth runs away with him. At home, school etc. very hard to get him to curb it

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Donki · 20/04/2013 23:40

This book might be helpful- I am using it with DS(10), and he is finding it helps him.

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