DH & DS v's DD and me

[Heinz55]

DD is 10 and while usually sweet and kind, is apparently hormonal and moody and less constantly sweet than she used to be. DH works 6/7 days a week so has always been the softer parent, would not usually discipline the children other than with: "Mummy says no sweets" or "Mummy will get cross unless you go to bed". He and DD are always at loggerheads these days. I think partly because he was always more "pal" than parent but also because he stands up for DS. DS is just 4 and has a 4 year olds reason ("it's mine because I want it and I'm holding it, so there!" type thing), Whenever DH comes across the kids arguing he wades in asks no questions and just automatically yells at DD to stop picking on her brother, leave him alone. She is capable of antagonising him for sport but she is also very often kinder and more patient than I can be with him. So, they fight and DH ends up fighting with DD and I end up siding with her because I can see that she is not necessarily at fault. He gives out about her all the time, at times she can do no right. She cries to me that she wants to have a good relationship with her dad but that he's cross with her all the time. What can I do??? What should I do??

[needanewnickname]

Have you tried talking to your DH about it, after the kids are in bed and at a time when he is in a good mood and not wound up following a specific incident?

[50shadesofvomit]

Does your dh have siblings?
Remind him how "annoying" siblings can be.
My kids are 12,10 and 6. I am the oldest of 4 and I know my oldest appreciates my sympathy when I have to tell him off for getting wound up by his younger siblings etc as I remember my siblings doing the same to me.