10.3 DS asks (rudely) 12.7 DD to shut up (as she's constantly half singing something or other under her breath). This happens as we are getting ready to go out playing bowling with friends (whose DC are their friends too). We ask her to please be quiet and him not to be so rude. He's lacing up his shoes. When he's finished he gets up and IN COLD BLOOD punches his sister in the stomach. Tears on her part and I lost it and shouted at him. DH wanted to abort trip to bowling as a punishment, I talked him out as it would have also affected DD. We all went, and told him we would think of appropriate punishment. With hindsight one of us should have stayed home with him, but we were late and cross and didn't think it through properly.
Rest of the day was fine, (DS even won at bowling!), but no mention of punishment as DH and I can't think of anything that would be a natural consequence, fair, and relevant. Especially as now it's going to be inflicted at least 24 hours too late!! I feel we have got this REALLY wrong but now don't know how to fix it! Should he do something for his sister? But what? Should we just go for the usual no screentime/no play dates etc? What would you have done and what would you do now??? I really don't want him to think he can get away with hurting his sister unpunished!!! Please help....
Ps this is a boy who can be so lovely but does have anxiety/anger/behaviour/ issues and we are trying to follow the 'Love Bombing' system written about by Oliver James (which has already given some good results) which is all about positive reinforcements and ignoring bad behaviour, limiting punishments etc... So I feel we are really being inconsistent too!!
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Appropriate consequence Dilemma - please help!!
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Pinkbatrobi · 18/03/2013 12:53
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