Channelling aggression in preteen girls

[Oopla]

DD is 9 and at the onset of puberty, has quite definitely begun to change with regards to moodiness and her temper.
Lastnight she punched her 3 year old brother in the mouth and bust his lip. Was very upsetting but after we talked we gathered that she had flipped out as he'd been winding her up. Made it VERY clear we didn't want this to happen again.
Tonight she had a friend over got quite jealous that friend was playing with her brother and punched him in the chest.

I have to nip this in the bud, please can you offer any suggestions? Obviously she knows how upset we are but I don't want to risk this becoming how she handles getting angry.

Thanks in advance

[Notmyidea]

I suggest talking to school or your health visitor about getting some anger mangement therapy for her. I know plenty of secondary-school-aged kids having therapy because they've injured siblings/parents. You're right, it needs nipping in the bud. Can I also reassure you that getting help won't lead to a nightmare with social services/child protection concerns. All the kids I know who have engaged with help are still in the family home where they belong. Good luck.

[chubbymomie2012]

Hmmm I'm marking my place here. I have a 10 year old dd who is having the same outbursts. She just flips cos her 13 yr old brother insists on winding her up.

[Oopla]

Thanks for your suggestion notmyidea I'm going to see my GP next week and will ask the question, also due to see DD's teacher so may gently test the waters. I really don't want to label her as a troubled child, she's exceptionally well behaved at school and at home usually too. Think you're right that she needs help managing he emotions (don't we all )
I have noticed that she finds it impossible to join in with things. She's quite sociable and well liked but I can't see how she gets on at school because outside of it it's her way or she's not really interested, think that's what pushed her over the edge when her friend was here.
I feel a bit sad really that I've not done enough to help her.

[Oopla]

Chubbie it's a bit of a shock don't you think! One minute lovely little girls next screaming banshees I wouldn't go through all that again for anything !

[chubbymomie2012]

Oopla I can literally see the change in her in a split second, thankfully (i think) she only has issues with her older brother. the two younger ones have escaped.