I really need some advice, my 12yo daughter is unpopular and always had been . The hardest part to admit is this, that she isn't always very nice. This has caused problems since she was a toddler, at playgroups I could see how she just seemed to rub the other children up the wrong way bossing them round and telling others they are wrong all the time and it has gone on ever since. It really breaks my heart when she cries because she is left out, without friends, picked on by other children as a result etc. She is very very clever, independent, strong minded, beautiful and helpful. But on the down side she is selfish, ungenerous and spiteful. She's had help in social skills at primary school and it's going to be starting in secondary school too but when I try to talk to her about how she is too people she gets angry and storms off saying 'you think I'm horrible' so it is really hard. We ALWAYS praise the good and encourage her she is a lovely girl she just needs to work harder at not aggravating people- to think how she'd feel to hear whatever she's going to say, before she opens her mouth.
One example is this...a friend messaged her saying her boyfriend dumped her and my daughters response was, I think he fancies me!!!!
Two hours back at school and she's texting me saying everyone else is invited to a party except her...how can I comfort her when I feel deep down...I'm not surprised?
When she does strike a freindship she wants to be their best freind straight away, she's never been someone's best friend and seems to be caught in this cycle of being hard work, failing to make strong freindships as a result, and then being awful' because she feels awful I guess. I worry so much what will happen to her and feel if she could just stop caring so much and being so needy friendships might start to happen on their own.
She is popular with grown ups, teachers, family and children she has less contact with so it's not all bad. It's heartbreaking as a Mum I really need some new ideas how to help.
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My daughter isn't popular how do I help her??
5 replies
beckyflipflop · 08/01/2013 13:55
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