Looking for some wise advice - not even sure what I'm asking, so bear with me please!
DD 11 and just started y7 in Sept at a co-ed secondary school. She has made friends with a boy, also 11 (let's call him John) in the class who she's kind of known for years - they were at primary together but never in same class, and he lives in next street. I am friends but not very close friends with his Mum - we have common friends, and do things together in a group from time to time.
This is new territory for me. Up until now, DD has had girls as friends - friendly with boys at school and friends of younger DS, but never sought out a boy as a close friend. I don't think he is her "boyfriend" or anything - I do think they are just friends. But I also have a small worry in case he is more mature than her and she gets unwittingly led into anything that she is not ready for. Really no reason to think that. I am very happy for them to be friends - They have a lot in common including a joint love of sport - both in a few of school teams and doing athletics and swim training.
In last couple of weeks his name comes up all the time, they email and chat, walked home together this week (she would usually take bus). They just did a cross country race this afternoon after school and she goes straight to a 2 hour sports team training and he has gone along to watch her train.
I'm not sure how to handle this and keep things on the right track. She is a normal 11 year old - not gone through puberty yet, not ever been silly about boys etc. I want her to be able to have this friendship but I want it to be a normal 11 yo friendship and nothing more! I also don't want to overreact - it's great that she is having a normal friendship.
I wouldn't bat an eye if this was a girl - in fact all the things John is doing right now are just the same as her close girlfriends do. So why do I have a sense of worry??? I know there was some talk at school a couple of weeks ago about other friends "going out" - DD couldn't even tell me what it meant! But obviously they are starting to talk that way at school.
What wise advice do you have mumsnetters?? - especially if you have tweens yourself or have dealt with similar. I want to help her have this friendship, plus her girlfriends but also prevent anything happening too fast for her.
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11 yo DD and her close friend who is a boy
11 replies
LadyPenelope · 07/12/2012 08:43
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