Forget google, my daughter knows the answer to fucking everything.

(87 Posts)
CeliaFate Mon 29-Oct-12 20:30:09

She's 12. She is insufferable at the moment.

She argues the toss about everything under the sun.

She's scared to go upstairs and has toddler like tantrums when we tell her to put the lights on and go up.

She moans when we ask her to do anything whatsoever.

All she wants to do is sit on her arse and stuff her face.

She's lazy, manipulative, bolshy and interrupts every single fucking sentence I utter.

Boarding school sounds lovely...anyone else?

timetosmile Wed 23-Jan-13 12:56:19

so Op...it's just you then, none of the rest of us ever feel like you grin

chicaguapa Sun 20-Jan-13 23:02:28

Easier said than done, I know, but I give DD(11) loads of cuddles after I was advised to do that on another thread. Whilst it's the last thing I want to do while she's screaming at me that I'M NOT LISTENING TO HER but I've found it really calms her down. I haven't got to the point yet when she'd rather die than have a cuddle though. hmm Not sure what I'll do then.

megglevache Sun 20-Jan-13 22:52:15

On the positive side ...one of the greatest thread titles ever...

FedupofTurkey Sun 20-Jan-13 22:49:41

Marking my place for support purposes. Love the title!

TheFallenNinja Mon 14-Jan-13 12:58:06

Don't engage in the argument. Your the gaffer, end of.

Myliferocks Mon 14-Jan-13 12:52:26

I have DD's who are 16, 12 and 10 and DS's who are 9 and 8.
OH and myself are considering ways in which we could move into the shed and leave them all to it!

handsandknees Mon 14-Jan-13 12:39:03

This thread is great. It helps so much to know I am not alone! We don't do group teeth-brushing either.

DD is 12 next month and I KNOW it's a horrid age with all those hormones etc but OMG I cannot keep up with her mood swings at the moment.

Today alone after school (we are overseas) we have had:

Pretending she had done the running club she begged to join instead of continuing with swimming, even though she is a really talented swimmer. She had not even broken a sweat and it's over 30 here so it was pretty obvious she was lying. Getting a lot of this passive resistance lately.
Couldn't respond normally to anything I or her siblings said.
Got in a flap about maths homework, tears etc, worried about getting into trouble from teacher. Much drama.
DH tried to help, more shouting from DD then she declared she didn't care if the homework was done or not.
More crying and "it's all so unfair, all I do is homework after school". Then "I don't have anyone to talk to, no-one cares."
Started to feel sorry for her/guilty that I should talk to her more, then next minute she is laughing at something on tv and saying "sorry for being grumpy, I was just a bit stressed."

Good grief. She says she wants to go to boarding school though!

baskingseals Tue 08-Jan-13 22:14:26

dd seriously getting on my nerves.

piano practice. it's a miracle that she is actually doing some but of course she can't do it on HER OWN, so she asks me to sit in the dining room where the piano is.

dd 'oh this piano is awful i hate it'

me 'well if you are serious about piano i'll get it tuned'

dd 'humpf'

dd tinkles through a tune.
me 'that was nice'

dd 'don't SAY ANYTHING - i didn't ask you to say anything, god all you had to do was just sit down and listen'

she then winds up both boys, hogs sofa, tv and computer, moans about her baked potato, says 'whatever' about a thousand times, refuses to put her plate in the dishwasher, whacks herself with her jump hoop thing and starts hyperventilating because of the pain and for the grand finale gets into bed wearing her school uniform - giving her yet another opportunity to say 'whatever' when i ask her to put her jimjams on.

where is the joy?

probablyparanoid Sat 05-Jan-13 22:17:53

My first time on this discussion topic and new to a horrendous preteen. He seems to be turning before my eyes from a lovely cuddly loving boy to a sulky, can kicking, uncommunicative pain in the arse and I seem to be in his eyes someone who has no real right to exist angry. Well - today anyway. Really refreshing to hear this is maybe a bit normal. So - horrendous day with my 11 year old today when I took his mates to cinema at my expense, went hunting for birthday pressies for him and took him into town and allowed him to hang out - all he wanted really but got no thanks whatsoever - only resentment for existing. Came back home to my 3 year old - he ran to greet me - open armed 'oh your back mummy' - such innocence that it made me cry (although he was on step 3 times this morning with tantrums for kicking and punching confused

FFS that's the point at 12 she comes out with these big statements that are shit and then gets shirty when we point out that she is wrong!

Bluebell99 Thu 03-Jan-13 21:04:09

But there are lots of words that use y as a vowel, so your dd is wrong there Madamecastafiore. For example, fly , sky, hymn, myth, by ...

I love it that others are going through the same thing.

DD loves imparting her knowledge on us - 'Do you know that Lynx is the only word without a vowel in the english language?'

ummlilia Thu 03-Jan-13 20:42:10

my 8 year old drives me mad. Just me and her, so no 'buffer zone' of dad and /or siblings.Only today I said to her 'you are not my mother..'as she proceeded to to tell me everything I was doing wrong.. My only consolation is that she is back to school on Monday. Love her to bits really but god help me when hormones really start kicking in...smile

GoingGoingGoth Sun 30-Dec-12 22:39:23

All I can say is Crap; Dd is 8, and was so obnoxious this morning, we no longer have any Christams decorations up. I had had enough!

To say she's a diva is an understantment, and to top it off tonight, after we'd all made up, she then has a go at Dh for eating the sweets that she didn't like/want Christmas morning (and that was tantrum neatly avoided by my quickly handing her another present)
When this dislike was pointed out, she replied "we'll I might like a couple" confused

I'm going to end up an alcoholic, if I have to cope with this for the next 7-10 years

shockers Fri 28-Dec-12 22:03:46

Oh blimmin heck... I've been tring to ignore all this, pretend it isn't happening...

<stands up nervously>

My name is Shockers and I am Mum to 12 and 14 year olds.

Sometimes I want to hide them when people visit because they turn into gobby show-offs in front of anyone other than me and DH.

(Actually they're gobby show-offs in front of us too, but it's easier to quash when they haven't got an horrified audience.)

Occasionally I have to quell the desire to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction from them (this usually happens during stressful situations like shopping, country walks, meals in lovely quaint pubs, cinemas, theatres, the sitting room, kitchen, back garden....)

At least twice over the festive season, I have engaged the services of a baby teen-sitter to avoid the trauma of taking them into the houses of people I love and respect.

I do love them dearly though....

I do!

betterwhenthesunshines Fri 28-Dec-12 18:13:05

I have dug "How to hug a Porcupine" out from the back of my bookshelf. It's rather American in it's approach ( I can't see myself writing 'Love Tickets') but the basic approach makes sense - this is a time where you are in it for the long haul - not a quick fix change in their behaviour. As a parent you lose the control you had with a younger child and think instead about influence, stand back more and let them sort out their own situations, even if that is frustrating.

They have a metaphor of a butterfly in a chrysalis undergoing a tricky change - try not to knock it, let it strengthen it's own wings etc etc.

Has anyone read anything useful, but a bit less American ish!

Me too. So nice to know we're not alone. I'm continually surprised there are any doors left on their hinges in this house and what she doesn't know isn't worth knowing! Big sighs, toddler tantrums, and stamping of feet. She's 11. Am looking forward to the next couple of years.....wink

betterwhenthesunshines Wed 26-Dec-12 23:16:35

Just came on this thread and, gosh, it's god to know we're not the only ones feeling like this. Thank you to the person up thread who said they weren't even sure if they liked their child at the moment. That feels a really mean thing to say, especially when they do a revert back to cuddly mode again. But the perpetual grumpiness is very difficult.

Earlybird Sun 23-Dec-12 17:27:18

<........EB exhales, and hadn't even realised she was holding her breath.......>

DD is almost 12, and is just like this atm.

I planned a lovely day yesterday - surprised her with theatre tickets to a show she'd begged to see (early Christmas present), followed by dinner out...and oh yes, we bought her a jacket impulsively because we walked through a shop and it was gorgeous and hugely marked down.

I thought I might have 'banked' some good will / good behaviour, but this morning I was hit by a laundry list of complaints - things she can't do because I am too strict and old fashioned. That was followed by an equally long list of things she doesn't have because I am too frugal. It was full flow pestering, moaning and deprivation. As I struggled not to lose my temper, I found myself thinking that the lovely holiday break I'd hoped for could easily turn in to the longest couple of weeks of my life!

May I also say that it is a huge relief to know others are experiencing this too. I was ready to blame my inferior parenting skills (and dd would have agreed wholeheartedly because - doncha know - everything is my fault)! grin

amillionyears Sat 22-Dec-12 20:26:39

I heard it as eighteen, Euphemia. Too tired to work out what that means!

EuphemiaInExcelsis Sat 22-Dec-12 19:15:37

Time to trawl out my favourite Mark Twain quote:

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.”

grin

LineRunner Sat 22-Dec-12 19:03:17

Oh Jesus, my two (14 and 16) had me in tears last night.

I felt like throwing the Christmas tree out of the window, packing a suitase and leaving. Or throwing myself out of the window, packing the Christmas tree and leaving.

Kind of sad, but glad it's not just me. smile [wan version]

On my own now, they are their dad's for a rare couple of days away. They have the left the house a complete shit tip.

Another thing I find frustration about 12 year old are the questions they have way too many of them imo!! So although mine think he knows it all when he isn't doing that he is asking questions and I don;t know the answers to everything....

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Sat 22-Dec-12 18:52:19

When I was a kid, my dad had a sign. It read

"Hire a teenager, while they still know everything."

grin

Startail Sat 22-Dec-12 18:49:50

DD2, who will be 12 very shortly, is actually nicer to have around than she was. Less inclined to expect the world to revolve around her.

But the look I get if I suggest she does anything to help.

I'm SAHM so clearly all house hold jobs are mineangry

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