DD1 got into a fight at school yesterday - should I apologise to the other mum ?

[FoghornLeghorn]

DD1 (3 1/2) was playing with a train set with one of the teachers yesterday, they'd built a track a bridge. Another girl came along and pulled off the bridge and broke it so the teacher fixed it and put it back together, the child then did this again and DD1 scratched her on her head, the other child got very angry and started shouting and screaming at DD1. DD1 apologised.
None of the teachers told me this, I heard it all from DD1 on the way home so I rang the teacher to find out what had happened, she verified that what DD1 said was true but she didn't tell me about it because they dont' like to tell tales on the children unless it is a regular occurance, although she did speak to the other girls mum as she had a mark on her head from where my DD scratched her. The teacher reassured me it wasn't only DD in the wrong, the other child behaved just as badly.

I have talked to DD and told her it's not nice to hurt other people and if she was upset with the other child breaking the toy then she should've told one of the grown ups who could've fixed it. She said sorry and told me she'd said sorry to the other girl but the other girl hadn't said sorry to her (this made me slightly )

Should I mention it to the other mum or just leave it be ?

[MerlinsBeard]

i would leave it. Sounds like the other child was a bit of a shite (i know i will be shot for that) and your DD knows that she shouldn't have done what she did now.

[FoghornLeghorn]

Thanks - DH said I should leave it purely because DD apologised but the other child didn't !

[Oliveoil]

I don't think 3 year olds can be called little shites can they, surely they are just learning how to socialise and behave?

I wouldn't say anything the other mum unless you know her well

dd2 was walloped with a toy phone once, scratch on face etc, was fine

I said to the other mum "they have been at it again " and made a joke about it

CHILDREN WILL FIGHT OVER TOYS!

No need for any angst imo, the nursery will have dealt with this crap a million times over

[CarGirl]

leave it

[FoghornLeghorn]

Oh good. Yesterday was the first time I had spoken to this mum as her DD came running down the ramp to my DD, hugged her and said to her mum "this is my best friend" !

[Carnival]

I'd leave it.

My DD was bitten on the leg at nursery and it left a really bad black and blue bitemark on her leg. The boy's mother had been informed, and I thought it a little poor that she didn't apologise.

With hindsight, I think she did the right thing, because my emotions were running high about it, and I might have said something regrettable.

My DD and the little boy are really friendly now and if they can forgive and forget...

[Carnival]

Aw Foghorn, that's great.

[FoghornLeghorn]

This was before the incident Carnival. Dh was talking to DD about it last night and she told him what had happened, he said "are you and Lily going to be best friends again tomorrow" and DD replied "Hmmmm I don't know yet"

[princessosyth]

I would just leave it.

I hope this doesn't make me sound terrible but I never apologise on behalf of ds if I have not witnessed the incident myself. I will discuss it with ds and reinforce how we should treat other people etc and I do encourage him to apologise to other children if he is in the wrong but I try not to get involved in discussing it with other parents as lots of mums are bonkers.

[MAMAZON]

why would you apologise to teh mum? you didnt hit her.

[FoghornLeghorn]

I think it's called manners MAMZON