Confidentiality and other mums "going behind your back" at preschool complaining to staff

[Lulushmulu]

I inadvertently let slip one day that my DD had had a bout of diarrhoea - nothing infectious, just her usual "toddler diarrhoea", more like runny poo with full bowel control (sorry!) - got worried that her child would catch it and complained to staff that my DD should not be at preschool.
The principal then called me in after preschool and asked me about this. I said it was just "toddler diarrhoea" and had had this confirmed by a doctor.
The principal said "someone" had complained and so she had to investigate. I asked who it was but she wouldn't tell me due to confidentiality rules. She then (presumably) tried to reassure the other mum that everything was OK.
I am now racking my brains trying to remember who I was talking to - why couldn't she talk to me in person? It makes me feel uncomfortable when I meet the other mums and everyone is being nice as pie on the surface.
I'm now wary of having any conversation with the other mums and particularly keep quiet where health is concerned.
I agree with confidentiality but I don't like it when someone I see everyday goes behind my back ... is this a normal situation in preschool?

[nosnikrap]

I'd say its a normal situation in life! I find that people are often very reluctant to approach others, especially when it is to criticise their decisions. Try loudly discussing it with someone who you have eliminated from your suspect list about how people should get their facts straight and see who goes red!!

I kept my son off school for a week once because I was worried he'd be sent home, even though the doctor told me he wasn't contagious it was just that his bowels hadn't returned to normal after a bug!

[FranSanDisco]

Unfortunately it is a fact of life that parents do send children into pre-school with all sorts of bugs and when called to collect said child say things such as "but he really wanted to come this morning" just as he vomits for the 47th time into the hood of his jacket.

Had your child had a bit of their toddler diarhorea at PS they probably would have called you. Perhaps you should have told them and said you'd had it checked out as non-contagious and the "Grass" could have been reassured it was all OK when she snitched on you . Once you realise mothers standing in PS lobbies have nothing else to do but gossip you'll be fine

[kittywise]

Don't sweat the small stuff. This is life, you'll forever be trying to veer around silly women who haven't got very much to do and so gossip, shit stir and gripe.

Oh to have so much time on my hands that I had itme to worry about things like other children's bottom situation! ( not you, her!)

[nametaken]

Do you think the other mother may have been upset because you are supposed to keep children at home for 48 hours after a bout of D+V and she was worried that her lo would catch it.

[Fimbo]

My ds used to have td, I mentioned it on the form we had to fill in when he first started, just so as they were aware. He was still in nappies we he started and only actually soiled it once we he was at playgroup but they just changed him no problem.

Some people just don't understand that td is not the same as the real thing.

[donbean]

To be fair you have no idea about the motive for this.
There could be a million reasons for a mum to say some thing.
Perhaps their child has been unwell and has lost weight and they are worried about another bout, perhaps they cant afford time of work to look after thier child who is off play school with the trots after catching it off some one elses child.
You dont know the circumsatances and motive.
I would defo NOT look at it as gossip/malicious/gripe, i would chalk it up to experience and forget it.
Honestly i would.

[nametaken]

Why do you want to know who said something? I'll guarantee you it will be the person you least expect.

[Lulushmulu]

Nametaken:
Because I want to know who it was, that's why!

I am annoyed that a) anyone would be stupid enough to send a sick child to preschool and b) she couldn't say anything to my face! In which case I could have reassured her myself that the problem isn't catching, without having to involve the staff, who after all, are busy looking after the children.

Anyway thanks for the feedback, I will just put it down to experience and accept that some people can be really sneaky, and petty, and childish (I have met more mature 3 year olds).

Thanks everyone.

[mumofhelen]

It's life. I completely sympathise though. Sometimes I pray that some of the mothers in mind log onto mumsnet and read it for themselves! Then it would save me all the trouble.

As you said, people can really be sneaky, petty and childish but unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it