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Preschool education

Is my preschool within its rights to ban unofficial outings after preschool?

30 replies

Lulushmulu · 12/01/2008 21:02

My daughter's preschool recently banned the parents from organising informal trips to the local soft play centre straight after preschool. The reason being that not all the kids were invited because it was a spontaneous, last-minute thing, and not all the parents know each other well enough. No-one was actually excluded. But during preschool some of the children talked about where they were going and others got upset because they hadn't been invited.

When we came to collect our children there was a notice on the door asking parents not to go to the soft play centre after preschool and to do it at the weekend instead. This wouldn't work for a lot of families and we wanted to go on a Tuesday as it is half price.

The only solution seems to be for the parents to organise it over the phone and whisk the kids off on Tuesday without telling them in advance. But I don't really want to be thought sneaky, cliquey or dishonest.

Are preschools within their rights to do this? Isn't it up to everybody what they do outside preschool hours?

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Misdee · 12/01/2008 21:04

no they are not within their rights to do this. how bloody petty.

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Prufrock · 12/01/2008 21:04

completely out of order. They have no right to dictate your sociaa lives (presuming you weren't taking all the kids but one or two)

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goingfor3 · 12/01/2008 21:05

It's none of the pre school business!

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morocco · 12/01/2008 21:05

that sounds weird and overly intrusive into private lives. I never tell mine where we're going after nursery but not for any particular reason and I would certainly challenge my nursery about a notice like that.

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Bluestocking · 12/01/2008 21:05

What nonsense. You can do whatever you like once you've left the premises.

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morocco · 12/01/2008 21:05

that sounds weird and overly intrusive into private lives. I never tell mine where we're going after nursery but not for any particular reason and I would certainly challenge my nursery about a notice like that.

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Peachy · 12/01/2008 21:05

Well it would be nice to ask the aprents (as the not knowing many epople parent myself), BUT of course they can't tell you what to do- how ridiculous!

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dramaqueen · 12/01/2008 21:06

Why don't you invite everyone, or just put a notice up saying "some of us are going to the soft play on Tuesday, all invited blah blah". They are out of order banning you, actually they can't stop you.

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ChasingSquirrels · 12/01/2008 21:06

ditto everyone else

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hippipotami · 12/01/2008 21:06

They are not within their rights to do this. What you could do however, is to announce your plans to go to soft play on a certain day, at a certain time via a notice stuck onto the playgroup door. Therefore everyone would see it, and everyone would be invited. That way nursery cannot complain about anyone purposely being left out.

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wheresthehamster · 12/01/2008 21:06

Blimmin' cheek!

I could see their point (maybe) if it was only one child who wasn't going but I think it's normal practise across the country to go to a soft play area after nursery at least twice a month. Practically compulsory in fact

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JingleyJen · 12/01/2008 21:06

no they have NO right to tell you what you can do with your child after the session and with whom you should do it.

We have a group of Mums who go to a soft play after Thursday session there are a few mums we don't know very well. They don't come because they don't know us, they have been asked a few times but decline so we have stopped asking.

If DS's teacher asked us to not go I would politely and firmly explain that we will continue to go and if the other families wanted to join us they can but we will not be changing plans.

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hippipotami · 12/01/2008 21:07

oh gosh, by the time I had finished typing the suggestion had already been made

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onepieceoflollipop · 12/01/2008 21:09

This could get ridiculous. Let's just say you all decide to go swimming instead, or out for lunch or anywhere really...What would they do then, send you a memo listing a whole load of places you can't go to!

Totally unreasonable.

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hatrick · 12/01/2008 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

emsiewill · 12/01/2008 21:11

Agree that they can't tell you where you can and can't go, but think the idea of putting up a notice is a good one.

If someone said that to me, it would make me even more determined to go actually.

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colditz · 12/01/2008 21:12

I'd start goosestepping around the place until they get the hint and take the damn sign down. they are not withing their rights to do this, and it is indeed more appropriate for Nazi Germany.

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paperchain · 12/01/2008 21:13

they are just trying to kpe the peace

b ut they cannot impose it

you do what you want

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fingerwoman · 12/01/2008 21:15

how very, very odd.
you can do whatever the hell you want to do in your own time. that's really strange

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colditz · 12/01/2008 21:15

I might start stage-ranting "How dare you presume to tell me that I may not do an activity with my children after preschool, just who the Hell do you think you are?"

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ineedapoo · 12/01/2008 21:19

What they will be telling you waht to have for breakfast soon. Children need to learn not evrybody goes evrywhere we all do different fun things

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Ubergeekian · 12/01/2008 22:13

If there really are some children who are feeling upset and excluded then it seems reasonable and caring of the preschool to bring it to parents' attention. Trying to ban it, though, is just silly and will rub people up the wrong way.

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lisalisa · 12/01/2008 22:27

Message withdrawn

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nametaken · 13/01/2008 16:58

I bet one of the other parents who doesn't go to soft play has kicked up a huge fuss - I bet that's what all this is about.

There are some people around who, because they don't have something, don't want anybody else to have it either. And because they can't possibly say the word "no" to their precious child, they want you to stop going, that way THEY don't have to say no to their child.

After all, there's nothing stopping the other parents going to soft play is there

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Lulushmulu · 14/01/2008 10:20

Thanks everyone. I have learnt not to discuss my plans for outings at preschool but do it over the phone so no-one knows about it apart from the people who are going! But having to do this makes me feel guilty, like I'm trying to hide something.

When I send out invites to her party I will ask her to choose no more than say 6 friends to invite and make it very clear to anyone who might complain that she wanted ONLY those friends and that numbers are limited due to space. I just can't invite the whole preschool! I had better stop here because there is another thread on this subject.
Thanks again!

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