DS at preschool, me at home not work

[wangle99]

Another feeling guilty mummy here.

I'm self employed but due to something out of my control my hours are reducing for the foreseeable future.

DS is in preschool all day Tue, Thu and Fri because those were the days I work. Now I'll only be working on a Friday.

I'm feeling soooooo bad that he's going to be there when I'm at home. I feel I should have him at home 'mummying' him and its just dawned on me he's going to be in reception in September and then I'll really be on my own! arghghgh

Please tell me I'm not bad because I certainly feel it at the moment! DS is 4.3 by the way.

[nodder]

Wangle, Harsh comment coming.
What are you worrying about he will be going to school soon, he needs to be away from you.

[juuule]

He needs to be away from wangle? Why?
Wangle - I wouldn't feel bad if you know that he likes going to preschool. If you think that you both would like an extra day at home together then could you arrange that? If he's enjoying preschool then take a bit of time for yourself (or clear some of the the millions of things that usually need doing).

[NomDePlume]

I think nodder means that full time school will be less of a shock to wangle's DS if he is used to spending 3 days a playschool rather than going from very little experience of being with lots of other children and away from his mum for longish periods of time.

FWIW wangle, I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. I was a SAHM when DD was at nursery 4 mornings a week, it gave me a chance to get things done (housework, shopping etc) without DD getting under my feet. When she was at home with me I could spend time with her doing 'mummy things' because I'd been able to get all the domestic stuff out of the way whilst she was at nursery.

I also agree that time spent in a nursery/playschool/preschool environment makes it easier for children to deal with the transition to full time school.

[ChippyMinton]

Agree with NDP - all my DC went four mornings a week while I was SAHM, because they enjoyed it. Could you perhaps swap to half-days?

[Tommy]

is it only 2.5 hours though? It only used to give me time to come home, have a coffee, put a load of washing on or somthing and then I'd have to go back again!

[tortoiseSHELL]

I don't see pre-school as being a 'child care' solution - more as being a 'preparing a child for school' - could you switch to half days on Tuesday and Thursday? Then he still has the experience of being with other children/teacher, but has the afternoons with you.

Dd did 4 mornings a week in her pre-school year, though quite often she only went 3 because we went swimming instead. Ds1 did 2 mornings and then a whole day in a nursery when I was working.

They really do need something, otherwise school will be a horrible shock!

[CharlieAndLolasMummy]

I think its up to you wangle

I don't think he NEEDS to be in nursery to make the transition to school

And I certainly don't think a 4.3 yo NEEDS to be away from him mother.

I don't think kids need to be trained to be away from their parents, I think they reach an age where they do this for themselves.

If you plan to send him to school at 5 then yes, I can quite see why you would be sad here, because this is the last chance for a really long stretch of time with just the two of you. If you are uncomfortable with the situation, and would like a bit more time with him, then surely you can cut his days?

But if he and you love it-no problem! If he is having a great time, and this is just about you feeling guilty for having 2 days to yourself...don't! I expect you've worked hard enough in the last few years! Enjoy them!

[CharlieAndLolasMummy]

And I have to say, I never went to nursery, nor did my brother, nor did dp nor many many other kids of our generation.

We transitioned to school just fine.

[Buckets]

If he's happy, there's no need for you to feel guilty. Can you imagine how annoyed he'd be if you took him out to keep at home for the rest of the school year?

[maisiemog]

Do you want to spend more time with him before he starts school full-time? If so then could you negotiate for him to only go on Friday or on Friday and some other hours that suit?
Do you think he would be happy if you reduced his hours?
I don't see any point in changing things if you are both happy with the arrangement that is in place, regardless of the work situation. However, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to spend more time with him before he goes to school, so don't feel guilty, and make the most of him, while you can. He is still very little.

[lauraloo25]

Most children go to pre-school 5 mornigns or afternoons a week, in the year before they go to school, so I wouldn't feel bad that you are at home while he's there, but perhaps reduce the full days to half days.

[Smithagain]

And lots of children do not go for five sessions per week, and still settle into school just fine.

Don't feel guilty, but do think through what you and he really want. In your position I'd probably go for half days, so as to make the most of the last few months before school.

[Fruitymama]

Yes I agree. As a mum of 3 DC's (ages 13 -2) I can now say with authority! that the years go by too quickly so make the most of these precious times. Once they are at school it is hard to spend that quality time with them.
I also used to work at a pre-school and I will say that alot of children like the routine and find it unsettling when they are taken out. One thing for sure is a happy mummy is a happy child! I am sure they are having a great time at pre-school so don't feel too bad.

[swedishmum]

My dd does 3 days from 9 - 3 and I'm not really working. She loves it (gets really upset if she's ill and has to stay home), I get to do all the boring stuff while she's there plus having a day out for myself - need it with 4 kids and all the after-school taxi service etc - to shop/see friends/see art etc and we can do lovely stuff together on the days she's not at school.