Has anyone not bothered with preschool?

[frostythesnowmum]

If so why and what effect did it have on your little one settling at reception?

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[policywonk]

Me - DS1 didn't go to any sort of childcare in the year before school. He started reception this September, absolutely loves it and is doing very well. I actually think that he is responding very well partly because it is all new to him - he finds the idea of learning to read very exciting, loves being surrounded by lots of other kids - it's all very novel and stimulating for him.

It has a lot to do with your child's temperament I think - DS1 went to nursery for a year or so at the age of 2 and hated it, so I took him out. Other children might benefit from that sort of setting at an earlier age.

[NamelessNewbie]

My second child was a very shy toddler, so I didn't send him to nursery until he was nearly 4.He didn't settle at all, he screamed every day when I took him and was very unsettled at home.

He started reception this year at 4y11mo, settled straight away, never cried and absolutely loves it.

I have nothing against pre-school, my other two were in nursery from 3 and very happy.

[Columbia]

We only just bothered with it!! Tried to get Ds1 settled a year ago (he was 3.5) and he was far too unhappy at me leaving him - never really been left before - so we gave up. Went to a diff one after Xmas, it was nicer, he still cried a lot for a few weeks which was horrible and I regret it immensely - i knew it was wrong at the time but pressure was huge from everyone I knew, because I was pregnant and he 'needed' to get used to it apparently

I left him there a couple of mornings a week for a few weeks, then once he was settled, he was Ok just about...but then I had my second child and he didn't want to go back after that, far too upsetting.

We left it till september when he started reception. I was dreading the tears and unhappiness, but actually he didn't cry, he was fine and happy...bizarre. I think I should have left it full stop with preschool, that betrayal might never be repaired, I still feel he doesn't trust that I will not leave him again when he is crying. Worst bloody thing I ever did.

(sorry, rant because it brings back memories!) Don't be pressured - your child might love it, in which case great. But it might not be right for them in which case trust them They will not do any worse at school for missing it!

[policywonk]

Aw Columbia, that's sad. I know what you mean about pressure - I only put DS1 in nursery because DP was so adamant that it was the right thing to do.

Ds2 (who's nearly 3) will be starting playgroup for a couple of mornings a week after Christmas - but this time, if he doesn't seem to settle quite quickly, I won't have any doubts about yanking him out again fairly swiftly.

[Columbia]

Thanks PW I know, next time I will trust myself. I think they all have their moment when they are ready. No pressure needed.
I think we need to listen to our own feelings as mums

I'm sure ds1 would have been fine for school no matter what he had been to (or not) previously!

Sounds like you did the right thing taking your little one out.

Why are people so afraid of us not sending our kids to preschool? Baffling isn't it?

[Columbia]

and Frosty, how old is your LO?

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

dd just started pre-school and it is brill for her but i doubt ds (although only 1yo atm) will be the same, hes too much of a mummies boy!!

it all depends on the child, stick with your guns you know your child best!

[policywonk]

Columbia - I think a lot of people think that children will lose out, academically or socially, by not attending pre-school.

[Columbia]

Yes I think you're right. Yes, that was what people said.

I think it might be counterproductive if they aren't ready though.

[frostythesnowmum]

My Lo is 2 right now but booked onto a playbus when 3 (he has to be dry) and he will go 3 mornings a week. He has never been to any other kind of childcare without me so as he will be going to school young (he's an August baby) I feel a bit under pressure to get him started however new baby will be here in June and I don't want him to feel pushed out so was thinking about perhaps leaving it.

[frostythesnowmum]

It's exactly that A big old fashioned red bus (stationary) that is affiliated with the local pre-school that takes children 3 mornings a week - you can send your child on other mornings and the afternoons to the pre-school and they do a lunchtime club but I thought full time would be too much for a 3 year old so have just requested bus places.