sooo need advice on DS at nursery school

[dawnyb]

jack started nursery school on monday hes 3 afternoons only so onlt been there 2 days

well collected him 2nite and the teacher isnt happy with him,

if they ask him to do something he wont apparently hes too SILLY and that i need to do something?? What do i need to do i have no idea we have told him to behave and what eva his teacher says to do he should but how do you tell a 3 yr old thta he should do this when its only eva been my or DP that tells him?



Do i take him out school for a while and try again in few months?

Teacher wasnt very helpful

[nailpolish]

im sorry i dont understand your post

[mishymoo]

I am aghast at the nursery for saying that to you in the first place and !

I assume it's his first time in nursery, in a completely different environment than he is used to? Surely they need to make allowances for him and give him a chance to settle in!

I would suggest to the teacher that it surprises you that they are not a bit more patient with him!

[rattleskuttle]

my dd has just started nursery school too and i think it takes a while for them to settle in.
perhaps you could ask to stay for a while so you can see how he behaves there and encourage him to do what the teacher says.

[dawnyb]

its just made me feel down hes never been with anyone else apart from me or DP so its all new

Jack dosent really understand what hes done wrong

[mishymoo]

IMO, he hasn't done anything wrong! Please speak to nursery manager the next time he goes and ask them to be a bit more patient with him and explain he is not used to being without either you or your DP!

Surely they will understand that??

[mishymoo]

Just to add, it will get easier!

When my DS started nursery a year ago, it was really hard 'cos he cried alot, etc.. but like yours he was only going mornings only. When we changed his sessions to full days so I could go back to work, he settled down a lot quicker. Even now he has his 'bad' days and can be quite clingy but he will learn to love it and will ask on a Sat if he is going to nursery!

Keep your chin up, it will get easier

[dawnyb]

hope so

All he keeps saying to me is
"sorry mummy sorry"

and sat here since 3:30 crying


feel so sad for him

I was told that they work on incentives(sp) maybe I should do the same

[mishymoo]

Oh bless him... He is going through a period of change and it is a big thing for him.

Maybe the incentive thing is a good idea, find out from nursery exactly how it works and try and keep it the same at home!

I am still they said what they said when it was only his 2nd day!

[dawnyb]

ty for your help missy
xx

Dp is at work till 1 so have no1 to talk to

[dawnyb]

mishymoo*

[mishymoo]

No problem - anytime . Please talk to your nursery though!

[XcupcakemummyX]

i have given up on the bad practises in austrian kindergartens but that is another story



what exactly did he not want to do
a lot of children do not want to join in with certain activities and that was a strange way for a nursery teacher to broach the subject
I was a nursery teacer and some children find some projects a bit bewildering.

I would just ask exactly what the teacher thought silly

tons of luck
and do not be sad
just get the facts

[dawnyb]

still not listerening to them today
She did say
"it comes to a point in how much more they can do"



Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[TheodoresMummy]

Sounds like a crap nursery.

Sorry.

Are there any other options ?

[chocolateteapot]

Nurseries can really really vary. I would go and look at another couple and see if you think there is one you would feel more comfortable him going to.

I would not be very impressed with the way they have handled him if I were you.

[mishymoo]

I can't believe they are still being so unreasonable with him? It is only his first week - give the little guy a flipping chance! If this continues, I would definitely think about looking for another nursery. What area do you live in?

[dawnyb]

i live in lincoln missy

tiger 4 u@ hotmail.com - no spaces if ya want me lol

[dawnyb]

mishy again i get ya name wrong lol

[mishymoo]

LOL at name - don't worry about it?

Your 1000's of miles away from me (we're in Weston-super-Mare) - thought I could recommend a nursery for you. Is there a leapfrog nursery near where you are? My DS goes to a leapfrog (I think they are nationwide) and they are very good, the best in the area!

How big is the nursery your DS goes to? I really do feel for you!

I know I keep saying this but I am appalled at how their skills are lacking with a new child! Are you able to chat to other mums to find out how their child/children settled in and whether they had same difficulties. It may give you an insight into the nursery and the staff.

Also, have you spoken to the Manager about this?

[Hanfi]

Can't believe they are giving your son a hard time after a week and what's worse is it's upsetting him from what you say. I know it's hard but you really need to be assertive with them, it is their job to try and find a way that works with him, can they give him a special helper, can they remove the pressure by not asking him to do things. I would emphasise to them how upset he is and that indicates he does want to please and maybe they'll put in a bit more effort. My daughter started nursery last week and cried every morning for a week, now she says she plays on her own because she is shy, this isn't really like her and I worry, but really don't want to overreact, so I'm going to give it another week or two then talk to teacher. If I had a teacher speaking to me as you have I'd be livid and so worried. But kids are dead resilient and if they are secure with you they can withstand most things.