Advice needed - is social or educational more important?

[bobbynog]

DD (3 1/2) is currently at a montessori nursery. It only opened last year, so only has 12 on a busy day and DD is the oldest, the youngest being just 2. Last week i was talking with another mum, who said that most of the older children woule be leaving and starting a pre-school / nursery in Sept. I had been offered a place at the nursery attached to a local school, but turned it down as DD was very happy where she was. The place is still available, but talking to the staff at montessori, they feel she would be better staying there.
I am not worried about her education really as she is still young, but i am getting increasingly concerned about her socail skills - she loves adult attention, but takes ages to warm to other kids.
I guess i am asking is it better to keep her where it is all cosy and nice and happy, or force her into mixing with other children?
ARGHHH! Why is it so hard!?
P.S. DD is going through an odd phase and cries every time i take her to montessori
P.P.S. The nursery she will go to is attched to a school which is due to amalgamate with another one next september

[LIZS]

I don't think it is so important for them to go through the nursery of the primary school. Can you ask the nursery staff if she will be very much out on her own age wise , could it be that others are joining ? How often does she go and for how long ? Any chance you could do a mixture ?

[Bouquetsofdynomite]

I'd send her to the pre-school so she'll know more people when she starts 'big school.' My DD goes to one next to the infants and they are really good about introducing the leavers to the concept of school. They have been on visits, do physical stuff in the gym and see bigger kids in the playground next door. When she starts she'll already know about 40 of her Reception year.
I'm just thinking if your dd is tricky now, she might be worse when she has to start an alien school. If she is your oldest it will also help you get in the rhythm of school runs.

[bobbynog]

Thanks for your replies.
The preschool is not attached to the school she will actually be going to - her school doesn't have a nursery. She currently does 2 mornings and one full day, at the preschool she has to do 5 afternoons - no options, she could go back to montessori in the mornings but a) i have to pay and b) i think she will be exhausted.

[Bouquetsofdynomite]

Yeah ours isn't officially attached, but the location means most of the leavers are going on there.
5 afternoons a week is tough, I was lucky to drop to 4 soon after DD started as I found it too stressful myself! But it's only 3 terms for her. 5 mornings would be easier as you have the rest of the day for freedom, I've got DS's name down for mornings as he will be there 4 terms and I've had enough of afternoons!