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Preschool education

Not sure who is bending the truth - preschool or DD... advice on how to deal with it please!

10 replies

Flame · 06/06/2007 18:04

A few times now DD has mentioned X taking her colours, emptying her snack on the table etc. Not bothered about it - children don't all like each other and some show it in different ways to others etc.

Today I went to collect her and had to sign the accident book - she had hit her head on the cupboard, had cold water applied, all fine.

She came out telling me that X had hit her today, but then excitement of lunch etc and all was forgotten.

In the car on the way to get DH from work and I finally got the opportunity to talk to her again. I asked how she hurt herself on the cupboard at school (thinking fell into it, leaned too far back etc).

She said she didn't. X hit her.

I explained that I knew he'd hit her, but I wanted to know what happened with the cupboard.

No, X hit her. She had magic water on it. He was told to say sorry and sit on the mat.

I asked if he hit her and she fell onto the cupboard etc...

She is adamant no cupboard is involved. Just X and his hand.

We went through the whole not making up stories, that mummy gets cross with lies and that even if she tells the truth now it will mean I'm not cross because she has told the truth.

No - she is adamant no cupboard, just X.

I know children hit each other etc, I don't mind. What I do mind is that clearly something is going on here... either DD is lying a lot which is very unlike her (she is still young enough to crack under questioning) and I need to address it now, or the preschool are telling me lies about how she got hurt - which DOES concern me. If they are lying about that how the hell do I trust what they have told me about watching her for AS traits?!?!

How do I deal with it without saying "I think you're lying to me?"

I know that children make things up, but I also know my daughter and that she doesn't stick with her story for long once she has been rumbled.

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3sEnough · 06/06/2007 18:06

I would talk to the nursery - they should be able to tell you and even if they didn;t see the incident this time, it will prompt them to look more closely to see the interactions between dd and x!

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Flame · 06/06/2007 18:12

She says that they knew it happened, hence X being told to say sorry and sit on the mat (that is one of the things that makes me inclined to believe her - she doesn't normally give details like that with her lies).

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saadia · 06/06/2007 18:18

Is it a private nursery or one attached to a school?

I think you just have to ask them to clarify what happened and say you are concerned because dd told you she had been hit.

At ds' school he often comes home with injuries and I am told that he tripped, so once I said to the teacher that he said he had been pushed. She said yes and the person who pushed had been dealt with. I think they have a policy of not telling the whole truth, but your case sounds worse than just omitting a few details. If they are totally making stuff up about injuries then you need to know.

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Flame · 07/06/2007 00:37

I'll speak to them tomorrow - I think i will lean towards the angle of DD might be needing me to speak to her about telling stories, and see how it goes from there.

It is one attached to the school and has been going downhil a lot lately. In some ways I'm glad its just another 6 weeks...

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NappiesGalore · 07/06/2007 00:45

good luck with the talk flame.
id say, trust your gt. sounds like yu do and will anyay, but do listen to your instincts and dont be ashamed or embarrased to either.

whats AS? attention somethingorother??

i completely understand you being disturbed by this. hope it pans out to be nothing much.

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NappiesGalore · 07/06/2007 00:46

sodding keyboard has started being selective about what letters to type again...

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flightattendant · 07/06/2007 06:14

Autistic Spectrum

I've got a similar issue at present, and am having trouble trusting what the preschool tols me. I think you are sensible to go in from that angle as it makes it a very poignant issue (DD 'lying'?) and they might feel they need to clarify their story..recheck details etc...if they did 'soften' the truth, for some unknown reason, it gives them a chance to alter it without too much pressure and no bad feeling.

Good luck finding out the truth!

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Flame · 07/06/2007 10:40

Luckily I spoke to DD again on the way in... Turns out her resistance under pressure is stronger than it used to be! X did hit her... but as he did she fell into said cupboard. We've had a veeeeeeeeeery long talk about why its bad to only tell me part of the story - especially when I specificialy asked about the cupboard!!!

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NappiesGalore · 09/06/2007 20:12

huh - kids eh??

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Stroo · 09/06/2007 20:54

Look at it this way............if you don't stand her corner who else will?

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