Preschool workers - can you tel me what is 'Time out' please?

[flightattendant]

DS was in the kitchen with me the other day when he began muttering to himself.
He said 'Go to the quiet room. You're ruining it for the other children. I shall have to tell your Mummy. Stay there and be quiet'.
I asked him who had said these things to him and he told me it was his preschool teacher.
I was spoken to a couple of weeks ago about him having hit another child, and also refusing to 'join in' with something or other (not a major crime surely) and had a word with him, and he's been Ok since...however I do remember the teacher mentioning he had had 'time out'.

I didn't ask what this was at the time - I assumed it was as I had previously witnessed - one of the adults takes the child out of the room, holds them, talks to them until they feel it's Ok to rejoin the group.

But when I asked DS (who is only just 4) what had happened, he said they had put him alone in the quiet room, locked the door, no one was with him, they wouldn't let him out and he was crying. He also said no one came to let him out.

How would I go about checking this out with the preschool, without sounding accusatory - I really am a bit worried about what he told me although I realise he could have been making bits of it up!

Does anyone know what the usual guidelines are /procedure regarding 'time out'?

[Pixiefish]

I was told that for time out a member of staff would stay with the child. I'd be very concerned if they locked him in a room

[Hulababy]

That sounds terrible, poor DS

Not a preschool worker but I would assume time out to be just that - time away fromt he main group, maybe in a corner or to one side - a couple of minutes or so of quiet time, to calm down, then a preschool worker coming over and taking him over to rejoin the group.

Not being locked in a room all on his own!

[toomuchtodo]

he should never have been left in a room alone, that is awful

I'd make an appointment with this head teacher to get this explained, also I'd speak with the staff who work in his room

don't let this go, if he was upset they need to expain how they handle it, should be in their policies.

[RubberDuck]

Gawd. That just gave me a flashback to my first primary school where the teacher's punishment was to be locked in the (fairly spacious, but still) stationary cupboard for a few minutes. shudder.

Mum changed my school pretty sharpish when she found out, but I still now, at the age of 33 I still have a feeling of rising panic if I think I'm locked in somewhere.

Always written it off as a different era of "punishment" - would never have occurred to me that there was places that still did that.

Definitely don't let this go. Please.

[Clayhead]

I work in a pre-school. Time out, or removing from play, is done in the pre-school room for us. It is simply a case of removing the child from what they were playing with for a couple of minutes if they have done something like hit or pushed another child. It is used rarely.

HTH

[flightattendant]

Thanks, I'll try and have a word with someone after half term. I would also have thought someone would be with him, even if it was only for a few minutes.

I have myself closed a door between myself and DS in moments of crisis - but have stood there on the other side, talking to him, and never kept it shut for more than about 20 seconds, if that - I would definitely not leave him in there alone. (Not that I think even this was really Ok - just a rare measure to stop him injuring himself or the cat or me - and to stop me from smacking him. I haven't done it for a year or two now)

[RubberDuck]

flightattendant: that's totally different - you were talking through the door AND it was somewhere familiar (presumably in your own home?) Not out of order in the slightest, imo. (I've done similar myself, for that matter - ds1 was a room escaper at nighttime... )

[flightattendant]

Thankyou Rubberduck - never completely sure if my 'methods' are alright IRL!!

Sometimes it's more a case of ME needing time out than him iyswim...

[RubberDuck]

Oh yes... I declare time out for me frequently

Just have now in fact - sent both kids to their rooms because they were hitting each other. Let them calm down a bit THEN went to talk to them. Is great - I tell them to go and they take themselves these days