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Preschool education

does my 3yo have to go to pre-school if he doesn't want to?

8 replies

daisybo · 28/05/2007 19:57

have also posted this on the childcare boards, just wondered if anyone had kept their lo at home with them full time until they started school?
is there anyone who didn't send their little one to any kind of childcare and then when they started school were they ok? my ds is 3 and due to start at pre-school in september but i don't really want him to go and he doesn't want to go either! should i send him so he gets used to spending time away from mummy in preparation for school next year or would he be ok if he stays at home til he starts school? i don't want him to miss out on mixing with other children and making friends but i don't want to force him to go when neither him nor i really want him to go iyswim!
should prob add he has never been in any kind of childcare, not been left with anyone except mummy, daddy and occasionally grandad!
what do you think i should do? what would be best for him? he is only just 3 btw, so a young one for his year.

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NKF · 28/05/2007 20:00

I'm sure that many children go to school without going to pre-school. September is a long way off though. At this age, children can change a lot in just a few months so I'd keep an open mind. Also playschool can be brilliant for children.

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merlotmama · 28/05/2007 21:02

Whether he wants to or not has nothing to do with anything!!!

If you don't want him to go, that's one thing. How, aged 3, is he supposed to know whether he'll enjoy nursery or not? He can have no conception of what it'll be like. Until he's much older you must tell him what is to happen. I think it's really unfair and giving a child too much power to ask them their opinion.

Sorry to put this so strongly. I don't mean to offend, but I feel it's up to parents to make these kind of decisions and then stick to them, don't even let your lo be aware there is any choice...

It does rather sound as if he could do with branching out a bit socially, though. School is going to be a big shock if he goes straight to it. When does he have to go? Is it a year from September? I would recommend he goes to pre-school for the year before school, if that's possible.

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wheresthehamster · 28/05/2007 21:09

I think you should leave it till Christmas.
Then maybe 2 mornings and build up to more by July.

I hate the concept of pre-school. You feel pressured because it's the thing to do. The 12 months before your child is 5 is the time for "pre-school". Starting school at just 4 makes me so mad!!

I work in an infants' school. Some of these children are not much more than toddlers - poor little mites.

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merlotmama · 28/05/2007 21:54

Agreed, Hamster. Here in Scotland you are not obliged to send your lo to school until the intake date (in August) after their 5th birthday.

That's still a bit early IMO!

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nannynick · 03/06/2007 00:30

My employer (I am a nanny) decided that their 3 year old would not go to preschool. So there other families around who keep their lo at home, as it were. We do however go to toddler group, we explore the world around us a lot as well... so we are not at home all the time.

Your lo won't start school till Sept 2008 at the sound of it... so plenty of time for you and him to spend quality time together, before having to force him to attend school (only have to do that from age 5, and even then you can choose to home educate!).

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MadamePlatypus · 03/06/2007 21:31

Could you find an alternative to pre-school such as playgroup to do a couple of mornings a week? I don't think 'pre-school' is necessary - formal education starts quite early in this country anyway - but I think suddenly going into a class of 30 children 5 days a week would be quite a shock.

Advantages of pre-school are:

  1. Any problems can potentially be spotted early and ironed out in a smaller class setting
  2. You get an idea of what things they should be able to do on starting school.
  3. Chance to meet other children.

    However, all of these things could be learnt/achieved in other ways.
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daisybo · 12/06/2007 19:49

he was originally going to go to a playgroup but i didn't really like it (a member of staff told me not to expect him to join in with the craft activities cos he's a boy...)
the pre-school is really lovely, and only 20 kids at a time, whreras the playgroup has 30?!
i guess we will try it and see how it goes, he is going for a 'taster session' with me and lil sis on thurs for an hour, can just see myself being the last mum who's still staying for the sessions tho!

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JodieG1 · 12/06/2007 19:51

My dd started reception without pre-school, she didn't get on with it and so I took her out after about 2 months. She was fine and adjusted better than all the children that had been in nurseries and pre-school when she started.

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