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4yr old DD1 REFUSES to let us correct her pen grip ...

9 replies

Snowstorm · 01/12/2006 14:07

DD1 is just 4 years old (at nursery, starts reception next September) and enjoys drawing and colouring and things like that. However, she holds her pen so that her index finger and middle finger are over the pen and ring finger and little finger are under it ... I think that's one too many fingers on top and her middle finger should be underneath! I've tried holding my pen like she does and it's a real strain and the teacher said it's not going to be easy for her to write easily/let the pen flow if she continues in this way.

My question is ... if she's been at nursery for a year now and is still holding her pens this way, should I just leave it to the teachers to correct/teach her or should I be trying to encourage her to do it properly too? For all of those people who think that's a simple question, it's a bit trickier than that because I'm one of those mothers who's got one of those children who does NOT like to be instructed by them and, generally speaking, if I try to gently encourage her in a certain direction then she'll just stop what she's doing and not want to do it any more. So, the question is actually more like ... at 4 years old and with another couple of terms at nursery, do I leave her to enjoy her drawing and don't correct her (possibly leading to it being even more difficult to change her grip later on) OR do I try and gently correct her but risk putting her off drawing/colouring??

I would appreciate the opinions of anyone who's been through this and come out the other side please - or any other teachers.

As a final thing, I'm sure I've heard about special rubber things that slide on to pencil's which help teach the children to put their fingers in the right place. Has anyone heard of them or used and, if so, are they any good and, if so, where do you get them from?

Many thanks in advance.

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Dottydot · 01/12/2006 14:13

Hi - quick post from me to say please don't worry about this! Ds1 was exactly like this a year ago when he was 4 and at pre-school. dp and I worried about it, tried to correct him, show him how to do it properly - to no avail. Result was he stopped writing, drawing and that was that.

He's now just about to finish his first term of primary school and holds his pen beautifully, loves writing his words (mainly because he's learned how to write "wee" and thinks it's really funny...) and is completely different about it all! It's brilliant and I honestly think now that that's what school's there for and teachers are just fab at sorting all this out slowly but surely!

A friend of mine said a while back that he sees his job in life to teach his kids all the things that school might not - let school sort out the writing and reading and try not to worry!

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WigWamBam · 01/12/2006 14:14

I'd leave her to it for now. She's only little, drawing and colouring should be fun, not something that you are only allowed to do the "correct" way.

There is plenty of time to correct her grip if necessary, and you may find that if you don't nag her, she's more inclined to try another grip anyway.

For what it's worth I had a friend at school who held her pen that way and was perfectly happy ... she was still using that grip when she left school at 18, her handwriting was lovely, and as far as I know she still writes that way now.

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LetitShnowLetitShnowLetitShnow · 01/12/2006 14:17

I hold my pen very oddly, have done from about 3 or 4 (too young/small to hold pen properly iyswim) and it causes no problems. Plus, my writing is extremely neat. I too refused to change at a young age and couldn't now if I wanted to.

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flack · 01/12/2006 14:19

DD is in reception and several children in there (sometimes DD is one of them) hold the pen as you describe. They seem to write okay, it's hard for them to hold it properly yet and have full control when their hands are still so small. So if it were me I really wouldn't worry.

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scatterbrain · 01/12/2006 14:19

this is what you need

Had the same thing with my dd - these Start Right grips are really great !

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Tommy · 01/12/2006 14:21

DS1 was like this and was taught "froggy legs" wheh he went to for his afternoon taster session at Reception (in about July I guess?)

He's obviously now at school and will sometimes forget until someone says "froggy legs!" to him and he'll put it right.

We did buy the grips and I felt they were helpful as well (but before we knew about the frog thing....)

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Tommy · 01/12/2006 14:22

you can get the grips in ELC as well

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Gem13 · 01/12/2006 14:23

We let DS do his own thing when holding pens.

DD could hold hers properly by 18 months and we praised her and hoped it might rub off on him.

It didn't but after he'd been in Reception for a couple of weeks his teacher came out at lunchtime and told me how beautifully he'd been holding his pen. He's been holding it correctly ever since.

FWIW - I hold a pen quite oddly (apparently) but have good writing (again, apparently). So ultimately it's a case of each to their own.

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Snowstorm · 01/12/2006 14:24

Ah thanks a lot everyone - I really appreciate your replies and they're a great comfort. I'm not a pushy mum at all (or not so far at least ) and I think that what you've written is my gut reaction too but I just didn't want a situation where X years on and she's having problems with her handwriting and I hadn't done anything to help. I will step aside and leave the teachers to help her and will just let her continue to be a child, weirdy grip and all at home.

Thanks very much again, I feel much, much better about it all now.

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