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Premature birth

Talk me though your really premature birth.

159 replies

WorzselMincepieYummage · 11/12/2008 14:55

I am currently 24+5 with a baby who's likely to be born soon due to pprom. He's currently breech and the consultants said if i go in to about before 28 weeks i'll be able to have a vaginal breech birth which i am happy with, if he doesn't turn after 28 weeks then i'll have to have a section and i am fine with that too.

I am just wondering how really prem labours work.. i know thats probably a stupid question but do they take as long, are they as painfull and will i be able to move around etc etc.. will i even have to push ?

My daughter was born at 32 weeks and my labour was as i imagine a term labour to be, i couldnt move around due to monitoring but everything else was the same. it took 4 hours, she was 4lb8oz and i went though all the stages and it really bloody hurt. This baby is likely to arrive long before then so i excect it to be different but dont really know what to expect.

Another worry is that if i need pain relief then i dont know what to have, i had meptid and gas & air with dd but i was so off my head for a lot of the labour i dont really remember it. I need to be able to remember this one as our baby's likely to be very ill or be born asleep so i want to be able to remember it, not feel completly spangled, I am going to need my memories.

Would it be worth considering an epidural so i dont feel anything which is likely to alter my perception or is it likely to happen so fast i wont need anything ?

x sarah

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babyjamas · 11/12/2008 16:56

hello, i've been following your progress in the last week or so - really wishing you all the best.
i suppose my story is a little like yours - ds - born at 31 weeks, natural delivery, dd1 also 31 weeks and a natural delivery. i then went on to suffer several miscarriages, including a prom at 19 weeks (a sad ending for us, when we lost our little boy at 21 weeks). we then had dd2 who was born at 27 weeks - she was breech (although waters didn't break)and was born vaginally. actually it was rather painful - certainly the contractions were as painful as with the other 2. the stages were much quicker than the others though - once i went into established labour it all proceeded very fast, and the pushing stage was very quick - i suppose it will be when you're pushing out a 2lber. breech delivery was weird - body popped out and could feel the head just sitting there. no stitches and physicl recovery very quick - had to be i suppose as i was straight into the NICU routine. dd2 was ventilated straight away - quick kiss on the head and she was gone. now happily,a healthy and happy 2 year old.
it is a horrible time - dd2 threatened to come from 22 weeks onwards - everyday really was bonus, however i also know the anxiety of the total lack of water can add into all that stress. best wishes - i hope with all my heart that you get the happy ending that we evenually did.

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lizzytee · 11/12/2008 16:59

Hi Sarah. i'm sorry to hear you have pprom, this must be a really frightening time. I have a short/incompetent cervix so although I did labour it did not hurt that much (dd was footling breech so I was taken into theatre for a c-section before feeling any urge to push)

If you would like the support and company of anyone else expecting to deliver early, or of other parents of extremely premature babies, come and join the pregnancy board at www.blissmessageboard.org.uk

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bronze · 11/12/2008 17:02

I dont know if my daughter was early enough for what you want to know. She was eventually born at 27 weeks though I had sprom a month before that.
Let me know if I can help.

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WorzselMincepieYummage · 11/12/2008 17:17

Thanks BabyJames thats just the kind of info i need, i am trying to cram everything in to my head so i am prepared for every eventuality.

I am sorry for your losses, its so unfair how some women seem to really go though the mill isnt it

The NICU routine is something else i need to consider aswell i guess, i dont want to be off my feed for days or on painkillers which would stop my milk being of any use...

Lizzy, I will have a look at the Bliss message board thanks

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WorzselMincepieYummage · 11/12/2008 17:19

Broze i'd love to know Hopefully my Boy ill decide to stay put for a while yet, 27/28 weeks is where i am hoping for.

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babyjamas · 11/12/2008 18:13

i had pethidine and gas and air with dd2 - didn't feel the need for an epidural (which i had with dd1 - like you say, at 31 weeks gestation i'm sure it was much more like a term delivery). i actually felt ok fairly soon afterwards and started hand expressing the same day.
the whole thing is pretty shit tbh isn't it? my body is obviously not capable of carrying a full term baby (most probably an undiagnosed blood clotting disorder).

just as an aside - when i had the prom at 19 weeks my consultant attempted a technique called amnio infusion - basically putting water back into the sac. i had a big tear so all the water came straight back out. but if it works, even for a short time it gives the baby some much needed lung stimulation. i know it was a little used technique then (2003) but maybe worth a discussion?

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laumiere · 11/12/2008 18:13

I can't really tell you much about the labour (mine was super fast and I don't remember much) but be prepared for the NICU, it's hard work. I wasn't at all prepared (DS was in for 3 weeks) and didn't eat properly for the whole time as I was expressing every 3 hours. Ask if you can have a private room after the birth too, it's horrible being on the PN ward without your baby when everyone else has theirs.

Also, if you want to hold your babe at any time, be firm with the NICU staff, I was way too timid!

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 11/12/2008 18:31

Mine was 31 weeks and 20 weeks, so probably either side of what you need. I didn't think the two were that different to be honest. I didn't really do much to actively birth my 20 weeker, I raised my hips through contractions which is supposed to be the natural response. I don't think it hurt that much, TBH I don't think contractions do and I think it helps get me through them. It can be harder to deliver a smaller baby as there is less to work with - if you think about trying to hold a table tennis ball in your hands using as much of the surface of your hands, then think about a football (not that I'm comparing a baby's head to that size, but it's a good illustration).

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KashaSarrasin · 11/12/2008 19:21

Worzsel I have everything crossed that your baby manages to stay put as long as possible.

DS2 was born at 30+5 and was very much like DS1's full-term birth except I was better prepared for the pain (I'd been planning a home water birth and doing natal hypnotherapy which really helped, despite being immobilised by monitoring). A contraction is a contraction! It was quite quick though, and it was easier to push out a 3lber than a full term baby.

I did have just gas and air, but DS2 had to be pumped full of morphine in NICU as he had to be transferred (lack of space at our local hospital ) and kept sedated, so even if you go without the drugs your baby may get them anyway. I would express as soon as possible though (I had to ask countless times for a pump before someone found me one) and to get details of a local breastfeeding counsellor to help you out as the staff at our SCBU were generally pro-BF but lacking in the information and guidance needed to support it.

Really hoping you're keeping enough of your waters to keep baby safe a good while yet.

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LiegeAndLief · 12/12/2008 09:25

I don't have any labouring experience for you (ds born at 34 weeks by cs) but just wanted to say that taking drugs (prescribed ones!) will not necessarily make your milk "no good". I was on morphine, codeine and various blood pressure medications and still expressed straight away for ds - the NICU staff were very happy to give it to him. He was also on morphine (sedated on ventilator - don't know if this is standard?) so I suppose that one didn't matter so much!

Have been following your story, it must be such a scary time for you, wishing you and your little one all the luck in the world. Hope he stays put for a little while yet!

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 12/12/2008 13:52

I missed the comment about breastfeeding and drugs, don't worry, they won't give you anything that will be a problem with breastfeeding. I had G&A with my first daughter, although I was out of it I do remember it all and as soon as she was born I came to. Your baby, by the sounds of it, is likely to come before he will be able to have your milk, so you will be building up supply (theirs and yours) in the first instance.

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WorzselMincepieYummage · 12/12/2008 14:24

BabyJames.. I asked about the amniofusion and something called an amniopatch but was told something like its only helpfull if its a slow leak and i think mines pretty shredded.

My Mum was researching an Amniopatch on the interweb but said they have only tested in on sheep... lol

It is shit, really shit. It was me who was desperate for another baby and DF kept saying how lucky we'd been with Grace our dd and that we should count our blessings that she's ok and stick to one.. all i could think what i'd missed out on, waddling, waiting to go in to labour, being excited, annoying phonecalls from everyone, squirming gungy newborn delivered on to my tummy, breastfeeding, eye gazing and all that - i really mourned the pregnancy i never got a chance to have and i dont think i ever got over it, to be honest i naievly thought that wed get pregnant again and it'd all be ok and make the pain go away. Thats life i guess, we wont be doing it again thats for sure so i guess i will have to get used to beng a fairly useless breeder..

Do you plan on having any more ?

Tinsel, The pushing i could cope with with DD but the contractions were horrid i remember being told at the time that contractions were mroe painful if you had no water, hopefully it'll be nice and quick anyway, ill just have to grin and bare it and swear at the drs a lot

Its good to know about the drugs not affecting my milk too, i have already dug out my medela and will hire a proper pump if i need to. With DD no-one told me to express untill the next moring which was 13 or 14 hours after she's been born, i am convinced thats why my milk supply was so poor, even with 3 hourly pumping i never made enough and dd had to had Donated EBM so this time i intend to try straight away, hopefully he'll be able to use it.

Thanks for replying

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 12/12/2008 15:14

I felt exactly the same, I was discussing it with another MNer yesterday, we both lost babies mid-T and our LC were born at 31 weeks. We feel frauds, like we haven't really done pregnancy. I think it's a common feeling amongst the parents of premature babies. My partner did want to try again but we both decided we would only have one more. I've thought about getting sterilised when this one is born, but I can't cope with the idea that this will be it! He's said he will get done instead. I can't use hormonal contraception because I'm autoimmune, barrier isn't a long term solution in a relationship and I won't use abortifacient contraception.

I seem to remember they can use some form of lubricant (which the water acts as and that's why it's harder when they break early) I've not had this problem, my waters don't break, but I've been in with people who have had their waters break.

Tink was 2 days old before I started pumping, I remember shouting at them as I had a pump but no one would show me how to use it. I said "my milk will dry up at this rate" - I was innocent lol. My milk took nearly two weeks to come in, it does take longer because your body isn't expecting to make milk so soon, I also had a CS so that didn't help either. Something I found out later though was that although I was only making teaspoonfulls at a time that's what a premature baby needs. They seem to over fill a baby to keep them going for four hours.

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WorzselMincepieYummage · 12/12/2008 15:37

Its like being part of an exclusive club no-one wants anything to do with isnt it I lok at DD sat here dressed up at postman pat singing little donkey and think we have been very lucky, she's perfect and maybe i should have listened to DF.. he's anoyingly always better at everything than i am and usually right too. We'll probably get him the vasectomy after this, I wont be sterilised because quite honestly i have been though enough procedures to last me 10 lifetimes and its his turn now.. he's not keen though an like you i dont get on with hormones, cant have a coil because of my cervix and conoms are no fun. Maybe we'll make the decision not to try again an then in a few years a surprise pregnancy will happen and i'll find out at 36+6 an baby will arrive the next day.. here's hoping. I dont think another planed pregnancy is on the cards for the sake of either of our sanity though an that makes me very sad.

I think the reason my waters went this time was because of an infection i got from the stitch surgery but it col have been swelling from the lletz sites, the funneling or something else. My waters went with dd too an they sai it was 'just one of those things'.. how helpfull eh.

I found the whole donated breast milk issue a massive emotional hurdle last time too

It really isnt fun is it

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 12/12/2008 15:46

That's the other reason I don't want to get myself done. I've spent almost four years with my life revolving around babies (this is pregnancy #4) and been through so many horrible procedures. I get angry at the suggestion from doctors that I'm too quick to go in, every time I do I have to have someone (usually a shorty too) stick their fingers in me, I've had the fibronectin test done twice, I was sent to Liverpool because there were no beds in the Midlands. Yeah, I love putting myself through this! I love having a speculum inserted dry, I love having people sticking their fingers in me! I'm terrified of another premature baby and my body seems to be taunting me.

I love your idea of the next pregnancy, unfortunately for me, as much as I have easy pregnancies without injections everyday I can't carry so little hope of that.

I hated pumping, as soon as we got out the hospital I stopped! I was going to (pre-BLW) but I couldn't get back into it and it had too many bad memories. I admire AlexanderPandersMum who did it exclusively until Alexander was on solids.

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WorzselMincepieYummage · 12/12/2008 16:00

Pumping is really draining isnt it an so much harder when they come home and your trying to juggle pumping and sterilising and nightfeeds and all all the rest of it.. I too admire anyone who breastfeeds a prem. DD was never interested in my boobs, much to my annoyance !

We sound like we have both been though a lot what with Drs and their bloody fingers and swab on sticks etc etc etc. The surgery for my stitch was the most horrid undignified thing i have ever been though, it took an hour when it was suppose to take 10 minutes.. that alone puts me off having any more babies, hopefully our boy will be ok and i wont every have to think about it again anyway..

Where abouts in the Milands are you ?

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 12/12/2008 16:22

I came to the point in the hospital where I realised that I had to take it more seriously. I was half heartedly doing sort of every 4 hours and I didn't wake up in the night. So I got everyone involved, the MW's waking me at night, I told everyone when I needed to pump. I tried to time it all so I only had to wake once at night and it coincided with her cares so that I could do PTB first if I was on the NNU. It made a big difference to my supply and confidence but boy was it draining!

We went to transition ward on Day 17 and were there for a week. We were supposed to be establishing breastfeeding, one feed every 12 hours, but Tink had other ideas! On Day 16 she had two unsupplemented feeds for the first time, the first time she had an NG feed she screamed the place down until she was breastfed. After that she wouldn't have her milk any other way.

Alexander wouldn't breastfeed at all so his mum pumped for six months for him, I just can't imagine going for so long! I'm far too lazy TBH

I'm in Birmingham.

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WorzselMincepieYummage · 12/12/2008 16:43

6 months !! bloody hell. I lasted 6 weeks.

How does it work if you get transfered ? we're in the west mids too but they have said i can give birth here then if he survives they will transfer him somewhere else as Russells Halls scbu is only for over 28 weekers.. They seem to transfer a lot of people from round here to Liverpool.. would we have to pay for a hotel for me or will they admit me for a while ?

I was considering asking them to transfer us to Oxford because my parents/friends live there so i'd have somewhere to stay, the NICU is supposed to be good too but then i guess they all are.

Thanks for letting me fire questions at you

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LiegeAndLief · 12/12/2008 16:50

Ds was in NICU/SCBU in Oxford (John Radcliffe), might be a good idea to be somewhere where you have support from family and friends, especially if you have a cs. If there's anything you want to know about Oxford SCBU just ask!

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LiegeAndLief · 12/12/2008 16:51

Although of course your choice might be a bit limited depending on where there are cots available.

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WorzselMincepieYummage · 12/12/2008 16:56

I guess i can ask and hope I was born in the JR too so i'd feel better then being in liverpool miles from all i know.

The only question i can ask really Liege is is it any good

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NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 12/12/2008 16:59

worszel - have been following your threads and just wanted to say that I'm praying for you and your little one and this is the season of hope so I'm hoping for good news for you and your family.

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FioFio · 12/12/2008 17:00

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babyjamas · 12/12/2008 18:21

Hi Worzel

just come back to this. i actually spent some time in Liverpool WH prior to J's birth (in various hospitals for 5 weeks until she came) - luckily was transferred back to my local hospital 3 days before Jemima decided that she was going to come. can't really comment on the NICU - but it's a regional centre and is meant to be fantastic. Liverpool is close to where i live but i was also transferred slightly further afield at one point - v depressing knowing how far i was from family and friends - and glad that i was back at home hospital for the NICU experience.

i have also struggled with guilt about my inability to carry babies properly. DS and dd1 not so much - but i was so bloody determined to have a third and then we went through the loss at 21 weeks plus 2 other miscarriages. if i think about it too much i rather dislike myself - i knew full well i was more than likely to have another prem and i allowed myself to get pregnant with J - and allowed her to suffer all that she did due to her early start. i mean now it's ok cos she's here and healthy - but what if she wasn't - i allowed her all that suffering - plus the emotional trauma that i put all y family through. definitely no more for us - like you though i hae this tiny little voice at the back of my mind that says that mabe, just maybe, the next one would be that lovely 40 weeker who we could take straight home with us - will have to keep that as my little daydream though.

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 13/12/2008 01:18

I wrote a long reply then got "this page can not be displayed" so I'm going to rewrite it when I get back on the PC. I've not forgotten to reply and I will go back over some old posts if I reply in the meantime.

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