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Connect with others and find premature birth support.

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Connect with others and find premature birth support.

Premature birth

Eastenders is upsetting me.

26 replies

theramones · 04/12/2008 20:01

Ds is 9 now, and he was born at 24 weeks. He weighed 1lb 2oz.
He is well now, but the Eastenders storyline of baby Amy, is really upsetting me.
Actually whats upsetting me is the baby, (which I would of thought would be plastic) but the sight of her brings back really sad memories.
Which is so, not the person I am.

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nappyaddict · 04/12/2008 22:46

She is plastic isn't she?

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AuntieBranflake · 05/12/2008 13:06

Eastenders is banned in our house (worst program on the telly according to DH ), so I don't know the storyline. Is the baby premature?

Stories like this, in RL or fictional, just remind me how much I've forgotten, and I'm then struck by just how far DD has come, and how lucky she has (and we have) been.

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pipintroll · 07/12/2008 00:08

I know what you mean theramones. Doesn't matter if the baby is 'plastic' or Eastenders is the worst programme on telly.

Although I could pick fault with the programme's representation of a neonatal ward etc, it does bring back many memories for me aswell. There's nothing wrong with that.

Glad your ds is doing well!

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Simplysally · 07/12/2008 00:10

Dare I ask how Roxy is feeding her baby? .

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cheeseandsproutssarnie · 07/12/2008 00:11

shes breast feeding and theyre using tube.

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ramonaquimby · 07/12/2008 00:14

dont' watch it? is awful show

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TinkerBellesMum · 07/12/2008 00:32

I've not been able to see much of it but I'm getting cross at how bad it is! She's supposed to be older than Tink was and just a natural birth (so nothing major going wrong) she also looks a good size (I haven't heard them mention it but she seems to take up most of the incubator, Tink was huge for her age but she was still small in there) but they're constantly going on about her dying and she has an umbillical line in (at 32 weeks???)

I struggled when Tink was born because of the Neighbours story line (Steph being told to deliver early so she could have chemo) and the big thing about how early she was (which they never said how early she actually was) it took me until we were into the swing of things to forget about it. If I was going through what I am as a first timer I'd be a wreck watching that!

OK, it's only TV but if they want it to be dramatic why not make the baby earlier?

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jerin · 07/12/2008 10:31

By Christmas she is home and 'normal' baby size. from the pics on front of certain mags looks like shes supporting her head too!!

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 07/12/2008 13:29

What's the betting the baby will have some disability because of being "so" premature?

I remember getting upset with the Ben's hearing story line a few years ago as he has the exact hearing I have and they played it like it's the end of the world. Only other people who have been deaf from childhood can tell I'm deaf because the difference is that I speak quite softly and miss certain letters from what I say (I can't hear S in certain words, so I can't say wasps and crisps for example). I don't use a hearing aid and generally get along OK with the natural tricks you pick up.

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theramones · 08/12/2008 21:36

DD is 14 and obsessed with the bloody programme, and as she rarely watches the TV (too much homework) I have to relent. Its just that plastic baby is making me really anyhow, I am a grown up i am sure I'll get over it
As for Amy having a disability, na I don't think so; especially as Jack already has a daughter who is in a wheelchair.

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 08/12/2008 23:12

She could still have a mental disability. They won't let her get away Scott free.

I got the TV guide for Christmas today. That baby is not preterm! It wasn't even a premature baby! It's bigger than a newborn, holding it's head, has a fat face and no premature features.

Even at 29 months Tink looks premature. Her new CM said something about not realising she was (she has one herself) but she'd commented on her big eyes so I pointed out that they were prem features, along with her gorgeous cheek bones and she's about a year behind in size - which is an improvement, she's always been the size for half her age.

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theramones · 08/12/2008 23:51

DS has his tonsils out and it made no difference, but oh boy when his adenoids came out he shot up and out. He finally (at the age of 9) has a bum. He still looks prem even now, the prem head, from all the turning, his nostrils have only just stopped having the flared look from the Cpap he had until he was 11 months, followed by low flow until he was 3.
My friend's ds (we met in scbu) was also born at 24 weeks and he is G and T and plays county cricket!!! Prem babies do not always have learning difficulties, especially not at 30 weeks.

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 08/12/2008 23:58

No they don't, I think Tink is going to do really well at school and she is already showing an understanding of music. I was worried because she should have been born in September but was born a year above in July. I thought school would be hard for her but I don't think it will be, she's a bright kid. I've heard that prem babies tend to be quite bright, don't know how accurate it is though.

But I know EastEnders and they don't let the truth stop them getting a good storyline!

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pipintroll · 09/12/2008 12:46

Sadly, TinselBaublesMistletoe, my ds was born at 31 weeks and does have disabilities. So i am quite sad that he didn't get away 'Scot free.'

A child can become disabled at any time during their lives, at birth, afterwards or due to an accident etc.

It is only a programme so what is this 'truth' that you speak of?

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 09/12/2008 13:41

I know that babies born prematurely have a chance of problems, Tink (31 weeker) isn't completely "Scott free" either, but I'm commenting on the fact the writers are making the situation a lot worse than they need to for the age they've chosen for her to be born at. Especially considering that Roxie has lied about her age which the hospital seem oblivious to.

I used the example of Ben's hearing. I have the same hearing loss as he does, Phil and Kathy were spoken to and acted like it was the end of the world. Most people wouldn't notice I have a hearing loss (apart from people who have been deaf from childhood and recognise the little things I do that mark me as deaf) I don't even use an aid, I have been offered but I get by, but EastEnders have made it worse.

I don't have a problem with them bringing disability into the programme, I'm disabled and have a lot of it in my family, but I object to the way they play it sometimes.

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pipintroll · 09/12/2008 21:30

'but I'm commenting on the fact that the writers are making the situation a lot worse than they need to for the age they've chosen for her to be born at'

It is not written in stone at what age one prem baby is going to be more ill than another.

Ridiculous statement.

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NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 09/12/2008 21:40

I know a child born at 34 weeks who has profound disabilities. On one memorable occasion a paediatrician known to both his mum and to me asked her what his gestation had been and on being told said 'oh but 34 weekers usually do much better than that'. How my friend didn't clobber her one I don't know - she said there had been complications and left it at that. I moved the conversation on asap. It's a very complicated issue and unfortunately you just can't assume that a baby born after 30 weeks will be ok just because many are. If the writers are trying to show that premature birth is unpredictable and difficult at any gestation and despite current medical advances then I think that can only be a good thing in increasing public awareness.

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TinselBaublesMistletoe · 10/12/2008 22:33

When I had my baby the way prematurity was being shown on TV at the time had a big effect on me and it took until I was used to our situation before I was able to forget about what storylines were about at the time.

Babies can be born with disabilities at any gestation and I wouldn't ever suggest that there is ever a safe time. Having been in labour for the last 8 weeks I'm well aware of the dangers/ risks at each stage.

I'm going to leave the discussion because obviously I don't know enough and anything I say is going to be picked on.

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2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 10/12/2008 22:40

oh I so get the op.
It made me cry when she was born as dd was whisked away like that.

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2AdventSevenfoldShoes · 10/12/2008 22:43

Babies can be born with disabilities at any gestation and I wouldn't ever suggest that there is ever a safe time. Having been in labour for the last 8 weeks I'm well aware of the dangers/ risks at each stage

oh yes..dd was full term and has severe cp.

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leah17 · 10/12/2008 23:52

i have 2 children born at 28 and 32 wks, i too hate to see prematurity used in soaps, it doesn't benefit anyone or increase awareness and takes me back to a sad time i'd rather put behind me, for us the happy times started when we took those first steps outside the hospital with the carseat! People who don't understand prematurity have so many misconceptions about children born too early and i'm not sure eastenders is helping that!!

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pipintroll · 11/12/2008 22:50

TBM, so can you see that the way it is being portrayed now may have a big effect on other people and their situation?

You may be able to forget about what storylines were around you at the time.

But how would you have felt at the time if people had more or less said that the Neighbours storyline was unrealistic and far-fetched?

Would it have helped you?

There are real people going through this situation right now and I don't think your comments are helpful to anyone.

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muffins · 12/12/2008 16:29

'There are real people going through this right now and I don't think your comments are helpful to anyone' did you read the post where TBM mentioned she had been in labour for the last eight weeks?

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071121 · 18/12/2008 20:43

The reason i was upset about the Eastenders storyline is because of how fake it is. It's just not realistic at all and i think it gives a bad impression to the "outside world" who have either no knowledge of the subject or are very ill informed. I would much prefer they had done a realistic account of the struggles in NICU (and beyond) so those around me could see how it really is. Her baby was supposed to be a 33 weeker, who went from nearly dying on a vent straight to room air overnight. I won't go on, but theres a lot of examples. It's good they are bringing preemie issues to the public, but they could've done a much better job.

I didn't realise Roxy had lied about the babys age, how far gone did she say she was? (earlier or later)

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071121 · 18/12/2008 21:03

but I'm commenting on the fact that the writers are making the situation a lot worse than they need to for the age they've chosen for her to be born at

I think what she means is that generally a 33 weeker wouldn't spend a long time on the vent or be at risk of not surviving the way they portrayed it. If baby Amy had certain issues that made her soo sickly, then they should've explained it rather than giving the misconception that 33 weekers do not have a high chance of survival. When infact the majority of 33 weekers will be home from hospital within 3-4 weeks and that they tend to just be "feeder growers" when facing no other issues but prematurity. For example in the US those born after 32 weeks do not qualify for long term PT. They portrayed baby Amy as facing the health risks for a baby of an earlier gestation. It is well documented that babies over 2.5lbs have a much stronger chance of survival, that those past 32 weeks have less complications re: NEC, infection, major disabilty, chances of CLD etc, and that those over 32 weeks have the same long term prospects as term babies (excluding behavioural issues).

^It is not written in stone at what age one prem baby is going to be more ill than another.

Ridiculous statement^

No it is not, but i don't think she was making any ridiculous statement. It is a generalisation that reflects reality. Of course 33 weekers can have significant problems, but Eastenders did not explain why or what they could be. If i had no preemie experience other than what was on Eastenders, and was threatening labour at 33-34 weeks, it would be TERRIFIED If they had more explanation or presented the story accurately then i would feel more reassured and glad that i had infact made it that far.