Early birth AND C-Section to twins. Advice?

[Treecreeper]

Hello, I have previously posted this on another section, but was advised to come along and repost here.

I'm on my second day at home now after being rushed into hospital last week with a bleed and ruptured waters. My twin baby girls decided that it was time to enter the world at 29 weeks. Both girls are doing well and are on the neonatal unit at our local hospital.

First little girl (2.7lbs) was born naturally with just gas and air, second one (2.4lbs) refused to come out and I ended up with an emergency c section. Now at home trying to cope with c- section recovery, some stitches down below from the natural birth, and the fact that my babies aren't here with me.

Husband is being a total rock who I couldn't live without, so I am very lucky in that respect, my mom is also being amazing but I just feel totally hopeless. I ache physically and mentally everywhere, I can't get comfortable to sleep, but am equally so tired. I'm trying to express milk to take in for my girls, I was doing so well with it even on the 2nd day post birth but now I'm starting to struggle, possibly because I'm so tired.

Has anyone else had experiences like this? How did you cope with it all?

Xx

[Goatbongosanonymous]

Congratulations on your twins, treecreeper ! And it's wonderful to hear that they are doing well.

I didn't have twins, but I did have a very prem baby. It's really, really tough. You are only on your second day home, which is hard enough with a full term birth, and you have had a traumatic experience plus don't have your babies with you. Please, please give yourself time and space. Let your DH and your mum carry the load emotionally as well as practically at the moment. Give yourself time to remember what happened, to let yourself feel whatever you feel, to get used to the new body that comes with any birth. Talk if you want to - don't worry about repeating yourself (this is a great forum to do that on, as well as in real life).

Practically, give yourself time with the expressing, too. It took me a few days before my milk came in- it can take a bit longer after a prem c-section. I suggest you post over on feeding, as there are some wonderfully knowledgeable and supportive people over there. And re NICU - you need to feel part of the process. Take soft toys for the incubators, go and buy a couple of sleepsuits. There are places online where you can buy little ones for prems that allow for monitor lines and tubes. If you want me to find the link, I will (on phone at the moment). Ask if you can do tube feeds, change nappies, do kangaroo care (when you have babies on your chest - make sure you wear soft, roomy tops). And a not so practical point; I really hated that BabyGoat got called Baby Anonymous, rather than his first name, so I just kept making sure that I said his name a LOT, and asked the nurses to do the same around him, they were a bit surprised, but this made a big difference for me. they also took photos of him for me to take home. Do you have some you can keep with you?

Finally, if anyone offers help, take it. Especially cooking. Don't try and do this on your own.

My warmest thoughts are with you. If I think of anything else, I will be back!

[Poppet45]

My dd was 2.4oz... Although slipped to less. And she was a section too. She was actually my better emcs but thats another story. First up rest. Try to let the adrenaline ease a little. This situation feels as far from normal as being on another planet. But normal life will return- until then do the best u can to keep yr head above water. So one thing at a time... If u want to bf u absolutely can but formula is totally fine too. But if u get yr milk in now thats a choice you can keep til later. Heres what I did. At this stage hand expressing is better than a pump... Tbh I ended up doing it all by hand. To start you massage yr boobs (dont fret!). Use the palm of yr hand and stroke from the outer ducts to the nipple. Do it all round. Then twiddle yr nipples like a radio dial (i'm sorry... Oh the glamour). Then to express use yr thumb and index finger to form a c and gently squeeze yr ducts moving right around the nipple.

[Poppet45]

Sorry for split message... On my phone. Keep expressing til you get some drops - moving around the nipple to stimulate all the ducts. Then when the flow falters try the other boob. Then flip back to the other just a couple of minutes each boob and swap again. It took me 30 mins to get 0.5ml of colostrum the first time. By the end of dds hospital stay I was making 1200mls a day! You dont have to express for ages 20 mins a session is grand but u do have to do it often. 10 times a day is good. It doesnt have to be evenly spaced. Just a couple in the wee small hours, maybe hourly in the evening to mimic clusterfeeding and two-three hourly during the day. And drink buckets of lemon barley... Totally builds yr supply. But enough of that. You've got time to build a supply but so much to take in right now. Nicus are scary at first its ok, more than ok, to feel overwhelmed. The wires, tubes, beeps. The fact yr los dont look like the newborns you were expecting. Its so much to process. Are they on vents, cpap or high flow oxygen? Were they born early but well or poorly? Btw at first its normal to feel u have to steel yourself to see them. I felt so numb even worse as I couldnt hold dd for 11 days. Yet weirdly still felt kicks in my tummy (?!) Anyway you'll get there. And were v good at handholding over here.

[Treecreeper]

Thank you both. We have just come home from seeing them. They are doing well, both off their Cpap machines and breathing on their own, they have poorly tummies though and are jaundiced so are wearing eye masks with blue lights on them and are on antibiotics. It was lovely to sit with them and just put my hands on them.

I managed 4mls of milk today by hand expressing after my major wobble this morning. I just keep having such highs and lows. I'm hoping tomorrow I will feel good enough during the day to make it over to see them during the day.

It just all seems so totally unfair. Poor hubby is just feeling a bit out of it all apart from running round fussing me and helping me round the house. I just don't understand why it's happened. This time last week they were still inside me.

Thank you for your advice and experiences. I know it's only the beginning, I hope it will get better. I just want my little girls in my arms.

[Poppet45]

Thats great on the off cpap and also the expressing. Really brilliant!! Its a long road sometimes it turns into a rollercoaster but in the blink of an eye they'll be these strapping lasses running round the house in just wellies... Like dd this afternoon! She totally rules our house...

[PartyConfused]

Congrats, Tree!

I haven't got twins either, but my dd is now a year. She was also born at 29 weeks and 2lbs 2.

Hearing ypur update has made me teary! It's all come flooding back.

They sounds like they are doing really well. Off CPAP is fab. Don't be scared if they have desats and bradys over the next few days and weeks. Dd was off cpap in the first week but I remember the desat alarms etc going off for weeks.

Are they having much of your milk? Or still on TPN? Dd was no2 for me and I was surprised and disappointed how hard I found expressing in thise first few weeks. With dd1 I had way too much of it! It's the stress you are going through both physically and emotionally. After a couple of weeks, the paed asked me to rry using domperidone to boost my supply. It worked instantly and they were inundated with bottles of my milk-i had to keep taking it homw to freeze.

Take care of yourself. Spend time with them and do their cares. Tesco do preemie nappies which are cheaper than pampers. Clothes wise-vests at the moment and hats. Babygros in the next couple of weeks.

My little preemie is doing great btw. Teeny tiny but now crawling and tantruming. It all feels such a long time ago. It'll be tough and hard work. Let us know if you have any questions.

[Goatbongosanonymous]

That's great that they are breathing on their own! As pp have said, expect a bit of up and down on that, but what a triumph.
I add also that my 3 lber is now 21 months and one of the tallest around. Is talking up a storm and does melodrama in the form of tantrums quite spectacularly!

[Errrr2012]

Hi treecreeper, just posted this in the childbirth thread here's my bit again! No twins here but I had a 31 week premmie 2 years ago. The weird world of NICU is a real shock to the system but staff were fab and very supportive, esp about breastfeeding. I often thought I would give up and it was definitely tough but I gave myself a target of expressing or bf until his due date. By the time I got there it was so much easier, my body knew what to expect, and I ended up bfing until he was 9 months (actual). The positive side of having prem babies (there are definitely some, which may sound insensitive but it's true) are that you can rest and recover without having to carry your babies around and you know that they are being really well cared for in the meantime. I have to say I think I cried on every member of staff going, often over the smallest things but that was hormones, shock and dealing with the whole situation I was thrown into but didn't expect at all. I recommend getting in touch with your nearest Bliss rep as they were also absolutely fab moral support. Good luck and take care x

[unintentionalthreadkiller]

Congratulations! An glad to hear they are doing well, as others have said being of the Cpap is a great step.

My 31 weekers are almost 3 and you would never know what they went through if you just met them

I expressed for the 6 weeks my two were in NICU / SCBU but to be honest I never really got any good supply going, the girls never latched in and we were supplementing with nutri-prem through NGT anyway. The fastest route out of hospital for us was to get them feeding so we got them onto a bottle and they were fully FF by the time we got home.

I was prescribed domperidone by my GP to try and up supply - May be worth doing in a week or so bit give yourself some time. You need to set an alarm and have a couple of sessions overnight to get your supply established. Can you borrow decent pimp from the hospital? Also express when you are visiting - looking at them is supposed to help too.

Be easy on yourself, it's bloody hard and so removed from the normal situation. Please feel free to ask if you have any questions.

[Poppet45]

How are your girls today Treecreeper?

[mandy214]

HI. Just wanted to say hello. I had twins at 27+6 9 years ago now! But they sound like they are doing really well . Couple of things that helped me. Have photos if you can around you when you try to express  its about making a connection. A warm shower beforehand can help, and when you mentioned them wearing little eye masks whilst they're under the UV lights, if these are the little fabric ones, the neonatal nurses used to give me a pair to have close (to sniff!) so I got that baby smell. I also used a hospital grade double pump (I hired one but hospitals / NCT groups often have them to loan out) which worked. Also, although its tiring, try to stick to quite a strict schedule  I was told it was every 3 hours during the day, every 4 hours at night. Apparently your supply is best at 1 or 2am. If you can, express whilst you're at hospital and take the milk straight into the unit. I was still in hospital in the early weeks (we ended up having to go quite a way from home so they let me stay in) but it somehow helped expressing then taking it straight to the babies and telling myself I was feeding them (if that makes sense). Also, not that you'll feel like it, but the neonatal consultant told me to eat, eat, eat  not that it was an issue as I was starving the whole time. Whilst most people say its your liquid intake that is important, your feed intake is really important too.

And most importantly, don't put too much pressure on yourself. If you need your H to go instead of you, let him. Does the hospital have a relatives room you can use? Somewhere you can have a coffee? Just take care of yourself. The babies will need you more when they are home, so just look after yourself. Its a traumatic experience, you need to give yourself time to come to terms with it both physically and emotionally. And take it a day at a time. I think I spent the first couple of weeks crying or on the verge of crying, I couldn't imagine how we'd all get though countless weeks in hospital. But as strange as it sounds, in a few days time, you'll get into some kind of routine / structure and before you know it they'll be home with you. Best wishes.