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Pregnancy

Stupid things I have read.

44 replies

pie · 19/06/2003 01:59

I was reading 'Pregnancy' by Gordon Bourne (The Pregnancy Bible 600,000 copies sold, or so it says on the front) and came across these two gems:

"Here is a guarantee: if you are normal weight before your pregnancy, and use no special support, don't wear one during pregnancy, don't gain more than 10kg, don't have twins or extra amniotic fluid - then 3 months after delivery your abdomen will be as good as it ever was. No marks, just as flat, just as strong and just as nice in any bikini"

"It used to be said that every woman was allowed to gain 6.4kg per baby. What a tragic comment. Any woman who has gained an excessive amount of weight in pregnancy and who finds herslef to be overweight after delivery and the puerperium should go on a reducing diet as soon as possible so that she returns to her original weight, regardless of whether she is breast-feeding or not"

"... at total weight gain of 9-12kg is all that should be allowed throughout pregnancy"

Now am I being oversensitive or is there something very wrong about what this Doctor is writing, especially if it really is the best selling pregnancy book.

To mears and leese, is this a healthy set of attitudes towards pregnant women? Is this really how Obstetricians think?

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SoupDragon · 19/06/2003 08:27

The breastfeeding one is particularly ill informed I think.

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Ghosty · 19/06/2003 08:46

That is shocking pie ...
Isn't it so that many m/ws now don't weigh women in pregnancy anymore because there is not much point???
I put on 28 kg when I was pg with DS (yes I did use pregnancy as an excuse to eat every pie in the shop!!) and my doctor did have a go at me ... but I was always so hungry ...
But I lost hlf of it by the time DS was 2 weeks old and the rest by the time he was 6 months ...
I think there is a lot wrong with what the Dr is saying ....

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aloha · 19/06/2003 08:55

What feckin business is it of his what my stomach looks or whether I look good in a bikini??? I certainly wouldn't want to look good for this tosser. How appallingly sexist. I wonder how good HIS abdomen looks in a bikini. 'Allowed' indeed - so he's the boss of the world, now, is he. I'd chuck the book in the bin.... or complain strongly to the publishers. Who are the publishers BTW?

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WideWebWitch · 19/06/2003 09:05

Agree with Aloha, bet he's not exactly David Beckham himself. Oh, how bad does this crap make women feel? Chuck it, definitely. And pie, if you're anything like me then reading too many pregnancy books is bad for you - it makes me panic more than ever and no wonder when there's this kind of trash about.

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lucy123 · 19/06/2003 09:16

Quite right. The world would be a better place without all these non-skinny mothers everywhere....

What a tosser. Is there a publisher's address on the book so we can all fax in nice photos of our perfect bellies? (the strech marks on mine would make a work of art).

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StripyMouse · 19/06/2003 09:21

Typical of an author writing about a topic, setting themselves up as an expert, with no personal experience! (I know this is impossible being a male author, but really...who on earth does he think he is?!!) If I read that I would be annoyed, then have a laugh at the author?s expense while binning it.

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eemie · 19/06/2003 09:31

But isn't it a very old (and old-fashioned) book? That know-it-all, paternalistic approach was already out of date when it was published.

What upset me most was 'What to expect when you're expecting' - lecturing about all the things you must eat to ensure your baby would be healthy, when I could barely keep iced water down for weeks at a time.

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Tissy · 19/06/2003 09:37

Stripeymouse- he is a Consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist, so he does have some experience, albeit not on the receiving end. One review I saw mentioned that the latest edition had been revised by someone else to take account of modern attitudes and practices. Maybe pie had an old edition?

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princesspeahead · 19/06/2003 09:59

can I take him up on his guarantee? I fulfill all of his criteria except, sadly, my abdomen will never be the same again and the words "flat, strong and nice in a bikini" do NOT apply!

Maybe that makes me eligible for a free tummy tuck

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pie · 19/06/2003 10:13

Just checked my edition and its 1996 (left over from my old pregnancy in 1999). According to the blurb inside:

"Gordon Bourne FRCS, FRCOG was formerly Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist as St Bartholomew's Hospital, London. He is a leading authority in the field"

It would be interesting to know if the lastest edition contains the same words of wisdom.

Can you imagine if you had him as your doctor though, I bet he has has made thousands of women feel awful during his career.

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pie · 19/06/2003 10:14

Oh yes, its published by Pan

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pie · 19/06/2003 10:17

Oh and another thing I have read in every book but one..

All babies are born with blue eyes which can then change colour.

I've read this in at least 4 books, only one pointed out that this is only true for caucasian babies. My DH honestly thought that every single African or Asian baby was born with blue eyes!!! Can you imagine? I told him that I was born with brown eyes, DD was born with brown eyes, my whole Thai family was born with brown eyes. He said that the books say that the eyes can change within a minte of birth so this is what must have happened!!!

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Tissy · 19/06/2003 10:26

pie, I've just looked on Amazon and their edition was published in 1996. It says that it was revised by Malcolm Gillard to take into account modern attitudes and practices.Is he mentioned on your copy? If so it seems that a new edition with further revisions is called for!!

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pie · 19/06/2003 10:30

Tissy, yes thats the edition I have, revised by Malcolm Gillard. Wow I can't believe that people are still publishing this stuff!

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iota · 19/06/2003 10:34

he was right about my stomach after ds1, but sadly not after ds2

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aloha · 19/06/2003 11:04

He's a body fascist woman-hater, isn't he. I'd just LOVE to see a picture of him in his Speedos (or on second thoughts....)

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motherinferior · 19/06/2003 11:13

I was told by a FEMALE doctor last time round that the 'average woman' put on one and a half stone in pregnancy and that, by implication, I was porking out far too rapidly - I went home and cried my eyes out. Can't they understand that fat and weight are such bloody awful issues for most of us and that this is the last sodding time in our lives when we should be bothered about it?

Ironically, I did only put on one and a half stone last time round. But it still took a bloody long time to go. Have put on less this time, but am not expecting anything less than long slow deflate last time. Maniac bastard doctor.

I have to admit I was not exactly bikini-ed babe before childbirth either, but that is none of this tosser's business.

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Marina · 19/06/2003 11:32

I missed that bit in Gordon Bourne's book and quite agree that it is offensive and misogynistic (and in need of updating/removing).
But it is one of the only books on the market which deals in detail with the potential medical complications of pregnancy (you try finding sensible stuff on polyhydramnios in something touchy-feely like the NCT Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth). Anything else that has been tossed in by Bourne and the subsequent editors is rather patchy and inconsistent, in my view. But if you have a high-risk pregnancy (or think you are having one), it is a good book to have to hand, sexist, outmoded views notwithstanding.
FWIW I think it has sold so well because loads of anxious SHOs about to do their obs and gynae rotation have bought it. I expect it may have been on student midwives' reading lists also?
I think it is a bit naughty of Pan to imply that it is aimed at the general market.

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pie · 19/06/2003 11:43

I agree Marina, it does deal with alot of actual medical stuff that the other books don't. But slipping his views on weight gain and bikinis with the hardcore medical stuff is, I think, irresponsible and mean of him!!!!

oh and lol aloha

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monkey · 19/06/2003 12:06

The thing is, what if say half way through, you find out you've gained more than the "allowed" weight - what are you supposed to do, go on a 'reducing diet', which also is not 'allowed' in pregnancy?

Allowed by whom?

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motherinferior · 19/06/2003 12:15

I take your point, Marina (and I'm sure the NCT book raves about how breastfeeding will slim you down, grrrrrr), but I do think it's irresponsible to the point of dangerous.

I felt so awful about my body for much of the first year after my dd that I wouldn't meet up with some people (ok, ex-boyfriends). Granted, this was a completely stupid response. But I did feel I ought to be back in my pre-pregnancy jeans, and that there was something wrong with me for not being, and books like this just make you feel you're a complete abnormal porker.

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tallulah · 19/06/2003 17:58

monkey, I've read this book recently (mine must be old as mine are 17- 12) & it does actually say that a "reducing diet" is OK if you are overweight at the start of pregnancy! There was a little example of a woman who ended up lighter after having her baby than before she got pregnant.

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Marina · 19/06/2003 18:42

I was an irredeemable porker when I read Bourne and still am, Motherinferior, so I must have just let his ridiculous comments wash over me .
I have come to the conclusion that any pregnancy/parenting book can contain stuff which will catch any one of us on the raw at some point, the whole process of having children is so emotionally charged. My flashpoint was Gina Ford, to be honest - I felt an utter, humiliated failure as a parent and a person when I read CLBB - but many postings on here show it has been a boon to other mothers. And Steve Biddulph's remarks about no boy under 3 should be anywhere other than in the home with a parent felt like a knife in the heart.

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motherinferior · 19/06/2003 20:56

I have to admit I have read very, very few baby/parenting books, not so much out of principle but because I would rather read a decent (or indecent) novel - but also because they make me feel so utterly hopeless. Bit like Sheila Kitzinger going on about how birth can be an overwhelmingly sexual experience (dp did point out this probably says more about SK than anything else).

I've got a friend who loses weight while pregnant. I think in her case it's the knocking off booze. Mind you, she enjoys being pregnant, which I personally find slightly bizarre.

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pie · 19/06/2003 20:58

My Aunt's 4th child took 15 minutes from first contraction to holding him in her arms...she told me that she actually had an orgasm...FREAK!!!!!!

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