Boo - there is an interesting recent thread in the miscarriage/loss section of body and sould about private tests. The lady who started it gave her email ad if anyone wanted to know the full list of tests she had.

LadyG - no need to apologise at all. I hope you are feeling better. I think I am going to wait it out until Sun eve before making an appointment.

Sh77 thank you for your kind words and to everyone else too, i really appreciate it. sorry about the slightly hysterical post before, i am just emotional and was wanting to talk to someone as I feel so down.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow and i think you have made the right decision for yourself. All the very best xxx

Sh77 - I wish you well in this very tough time, I hope things begin to brighten for you very soon.

We have begun tests to try and see if there is anything underlying our difficulties, but it's slow work. We are going to go private to try and speed things along. My DP has children already so I'm worried it's probably me if anything. We're taking a break from TTC - I just can't face any more heartache for a while!

Keep your chin up, I'll be thinking of you x

sh77 - I am glad that the posts here have helped you decide the best route for you. It is hard to be waiting, and you have suffered long enough. I hope that things go smoothly and know I am thinking about you.

Neeko thanks for thinking of me again and for posting throughout.

BooPen - I haven't cried today until reading the new posts on this thread. I can't say enough how much I appreciate your post. I am sorry you had to go through this more than once. Have you had any tests to establish the cause of your MCs?

LadyG - sorry you are experiencing the same too. This is not your fault at all. You didn't make this happen. I think any woman with a child under one would be worried about coping. As I wrote earlier, I took no risks and just stayed at home hoping to get through 1st tri safely but it didn't happen. Some women take risks and have healthy babies. Nobody, all the money in the world or best medical attention can control the outcome of a pregnancy. As defeatist as it sounds, I really believe that. What I think about why the past 6 months have been like hell for me is a long conversation...

Still no sign of bleeding or cramps for me. I will call in the morning to arrange the ERPC. I think today's posts have made me decide that ERPC is the best route. I can't go on any longer staying in bed watching rubbish TV. My brain is turning to mush! Although I am looking forward to Octomum (about the US lady who had octuplets and had 6 kids already) on Channel 4 tomorrow night. For some reason there has been much focus on preg related issues on TV this week or maybe I am just paying too much attention to the TV listings.

Lots of love to you all. xx

LadyGaGaGoo I'm so sorry for your loss but this is in no way your fault. A MMC is horrible and I know I felt a sense of failure that I hadn't known what happened to my child. Anger and guilt are part of the grieving process and there's no time limit to recovering from this.
Do what feels right for you. Allow yourself to cry, scream and shout as much as you want to. Try to take strength from your DH and DS and be kind to yourself.

If any of you are interested there's a fantastic Emmsy thread in conception where all the girls are in various stages of TTC, pregnancy and even a few new mums. All the women on there have had at least one MC and their support has been invaluable to me since my MC in March and through this pg so far. You're welcome to join us if you need the support. (We're all a bit daft at times too which helps!)

Hi LadyG, I'm so sorry for your loss.
You are not to blame so please don't feel any guilt. What you are going through is awful and I send you my very best wishes x

I'm sorry to butt in and post here too but I'm currently having a MMC and am devastated.
12 week scan was due tomorrow, started bleeding yesterday and scan revealed the baby died around 8-9 weeks.
Found the emergency gynae unit not the most caring or sympathetic of places, I think they thought I was making a big fuss because still in first trimester.
I would have gone for the ERPC but started bleeding heavily last night. It is horrible horrible horrible.
Also I am paralysed with guilt though. DH had been so excited, and in some ways much more than me (I was worried because we have a DS who is not even a year yet and not sure how I would cope). So I now feel that I am to blame. If I was DH I would turn round and say 'you weren't over the moon.." (not that he has)
Sorry - this is not a very positive post. I have just been crying all day. Feel very down.

I am so sorry for you Sh77, I have never posted on mumsnet before but wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and wishing your much better times ahead.

I have had 4 miscarriages myself, and the 1st was missed - it was picked up at 10 weeks and the pregancy had stopped at 6 weeks. I had an ERPC as I couldn't face wondering every day if that would be 'the day' it started. The next 3 all started spontaneously between 6 and 8 weeks, and I wish I could have had ERPCs for each one.
I know we are all different but I have found passing the clots very traumatic and a horrible and very regular reminder of our loss.

Look after yourself and take the time you need to heal and grieve.
x

Sh77 Really at how it all worked out for you. I hope that one day when you're ready you'll be pregnant again and will have everything you've dreamed of. It sounds like you have good RL support, but remember there'll always be support on here. Take care and be kind to yourself. You've had a hell of a year and clearly deserve better. xx