Hostile antenatal class!

[ButIForgetMysElf]

Went to local Parentcraft class for the second time yesterday. Am new to this area, only transferred 3 weeks ago, so know literally nobody around here. Had been hoping to meet other Mums-to-be locally.

The first, last week, was as you'd expect, nobody really knew each other, everyone stuck with their partners, didn't really speak to anyone else.

Thought it would be different this week - smiled at people I recognised from the week before, only to be met with stoney faces! Nobody spoke, again, and the midwife holding the class made no attempt to engage anybody in conversation. There were no introductions, no group stuff to do, it was just a case of sitting and listening to her talk non-stop (which, frankly, got a bit tedious after an hour) with no chance to share any stories or discuss any worries. It even finished 50 minutes earlier than scheduled because she ran out of things to say. Nobody had the chance to say when they were due, and at the end everybody just went home without saying bye to each other!

I found it really, really sad. There's no NCT locally either, so this NHS class is literally all we have. What a wasted opportunity.

Was I expecting too much or have others had similar experiences?

I feel so disappointed - what a shame.

[Geepers]

Next week, before she starts, say 'Oh, before you start, I was just wondering if we could all introduce ourselves'.

Perhaps the midwife has crap people skills, and all teh other people are very shy?

[dinkystinkyclaus]

That sounds awful. Are there local mum to be aquanatal or yoga or pilates classes in your area? You may find that the people that go to those are abit chattier/friendlier. You'll find that once you have the baby and go to mum and baby groups you'll make lots of friends with new mums too.

[notnowbernard]

That sounds really crap

My ante-natal classes were a bit like that - the mw was lovely but didn't talk or mingle with anyone

Your HV once your baby is born should be able to give you details of babygroups in your area (for mums who have recently given birth). I also second the idea of an aqua-natal class or something to get to know some other people (if that's what you want to do)

[MrsMattie]

Oh dear.

Don't get hung up on missing out on NCT classes, though. You can make friends just as easily (more easily, in fact) once your baby is born by going to local groups / classes / coffee mornings etc. These things are always hit and miss, though, I find. You have to be very brave and go to a few before you find one where you click with the people.

Don't let the misogs get you down!

[ButIForgetMysElf]

We've had a different midwife both times so far though.

TBH, I think I'm going to give it a miss next week. I'll be 38 weeks by then, the room is boiling hot, the chairs are uncomfortable when you're on them for 2 hours at a stretch, which is hard enough when it's a fun class which goes quickly, but it's not, it drags.

Next week's one is supposed to be baby massage, except they're not quite sure. Apparently there's a long waiting list (! For an antenatal class?) so they're not quite sure what they're going to do.

[llareggub]

Don't worry, I met all my baby friends after the birth. I think we were shell-shocked into friendship!

[ButIForgetMysElf]

I'm a nanny by profession so am quite optimistic that once the baby arrives and we start going to groups we'll meet other people - my last few jobs have been with tiny babies so that's how I've made most of my friends. Unfortunately they are now all 60 miles away!

I just found it a real shame - had heard so many stories about how people had formed lasting friendships through their antenatal groups - maybe life is not really like The Fat Ladies Club afgter all!

[kalo12]

you should go along, everyone will feel the same, it takes a while to break the ice , spec if the mw is not very forthcoming

[MrsMattie]

I have done some of the training to be an NCT antenatal educator (although dropped out to have another baby!), and I can honestly say - if you aren't getting any time to discuss things, ask questions and interact with your teacher and classmates, there probably isn't much you couldn't find out in a good pregnancy and birth book in the comfort of your own home!