How soon did you tell your older kids you were pregnant?

[Aniyan]

Hi - new to this though not new to motherhood! My son is just 9 and we are (only just) pregnant with no.2. We've been discussing when to tell ds the news. On one hand he's old enough to tune into the fact that something's wrong if anything DOES go wrong (touch wood it won't!). On other hand, I don't want to tell all and sundry till I'm good and ready - is it fair to tell ds before then and expect him to keep a (nice) family secret for a few weeks - or should he be free to run around telling everyone as soon as he knows? He's very emotionally mature for his age and very bright.

Just wondered what others have done in a similar situation? Thanks.

[castille]

It depends on how your son is likely to feel about it - ours would have been too excited to keep the secret at school, so we told our older ones (who were 8 and 6 at the time) at the start of the holidays.

I think I was about 9 weeks when we told them and our families.

[Aniyan]

He'll be VERY excited! So far I've had no obvious symptoms that might make him think there's something 'wrong' with me and need an explanation (throwing up etc.) - so I'm hoping this continues, then we can put off saying anything for a while.

[OrmIrian]

As soon as I found out with no#3. Couldn't really avoid it as mummy was staggering around the bathroom making weird 'arrgggghhhh!' noises and then screaming down the phone at daddy

[misdee]

recently told my dd's ages 8,5 and 3 at 11 weeks after my first scan.

[Aniyan]

did they then tell everyone else?

[witchandchips]

how would he deal with it if things went wrong?
Easier for me as my ds is younger (3). He just knows there might be a baby in mummy's tummy and that it will come out in 250 sleeps!

[misdee]

yup, now loads of people know!

before just a few close family and friends (and all of mumsnet) knew.

[Aniyan]

that last post was for OrmIrian - still getting the hang of this!

[NatalieJaneIsPregnantAgain]

Well, we have had to tel DS1 about DC3 really quite early. I am showing and people had started asking about it at school etc. so we decided we had to tell him before someone said something in front of him.

As it was I got as a reply "I know, you have a big fat belly"

[Aniyan]

misdee - thanks for you reply anyway - forgive me for being a bit clumsy. witchandchips - I think he'd be devastated if anything went wrong, but I think he'd know something was wrong even if we tried to keep it from him - he's very perceptive. That's why it's a bit of a dilemma at the moment.

[witchandchips]

are you really showing already nataliejane?

[OrmIrian]

No. I don't think they did aniyan. DS#1 might have mentioned it to friends at school but he was only 5 so maybe not and DD was only 3, but I then went on to tell everyone that mattered quite quickly anyway.

[NatalieJaneIsPregnantAgain]

Yep Full wack maternity clothes, look about 6 months according to people up the school.

I was exactly the same with DS2 and the MC.

[witchandchips]

If he is perceptive then I think you should tell him but talk about it as your body trying to make a baby rather than the baby being there iyswim.

[Aniyan]

I like the idea of saying that my body's trying to make a baby - that way he's likely to understand that at this early stage you don't tell everyone - not until the baby's really 'there' - I think he'd be okay with that, and it gives him a chance to talk to us about it all as/when he wants.

Thanks for that!