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Pregnancy

Due next week, and not feeling at all broody...

8 replies

sagitta · 16/04/2008 10:03

Has anyone else felt like this? I have spent the last nine months in denial really, and I don't know how to focus on the fact that we are having a baby next week. I am still working - in fact, I suspect I've been hiding behind my work so I don't have to think about it. But as that comes to an end, I realise I seem unable to be excited, or broody, or anything really. I know I will love the baby, (I have one DD), but I feel nothing at all yet - not even excitement at the prospect of meeting it. I was a bit the same last time, but I didn't feel as numb as I do this time. Is this a problem? How do I make myself feel anything about this? Both pregnancies have been accidental - I don't know if this has made a difference. I love my antenatal thread, but at the moment it seems to show how differently I feel from everyone else, who naturally want to see meet their babies.

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mrslurkalot · 16/04/2008 10:10

Hi there and congratulations! My DD will be 5 weeks on Thursday and before her arrival I felt much the same as you. The fact that I wasn't excited made me feel really guilty. I had a planned section and if I'm honest until I could hold and care for her properly I still felt numb. As soon as I was up and about though the feeling came back and I'm now just as much in love with her as I am with DS.
Good luck with everything and try not to worry!

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sagitta · 16/04/2008 10:36

Congratulations to you too! Thanks - you have already made me feel better. You're right, I do feel guilty, and I think I am making it hard for DH to get excited too. But it's good to know you came through it!

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Sketchi · 16/04/2008 12:31

Don't worry yourself - I felt the same during my first and it came as a huge shock to have a baby, wasn't ready and hiding behind career etc. Now prg with 2nd and feeling bit more maternal, though still not excited at the prospect either.

I don't think there is a wrong or right way to feel. You know yourself the best and at least you've kept yourself busy in the last few months. At least you know the baby is coming into a loving family, just go with the flow. You wouldn't have got pregnant if you didn't want another in the first place x Oh and congratulations!

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Spaceman · 16/04/2008 12:36

Do you think with work and having a DD you're a bit preoccupied with other stuff? I expect if you took a bit of time out and started to visualise what it'll be like with a new baby again, the excitement will start to build.

I am 35weeks pg and go for days not thinking about baby, then suddenly I think 'oh, it's really going to happen ,'and I start to look forward to it. It would be easy to just carry on with my life and not pay it much attention tho.

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sagitta · 16/04/2008 12:56

Thanks v much. Maybe I just need to stop and think for a bit...

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madmouse · 16/04/2008 13:16

I think there is also so much emphasis on having to be happy and blooming and whatever. You forget you are just a normal person with normal worries and just who you were before you got pregnant. You know you will love your baby once it (he?she?) has arrived, so surely that is all you need? Don't let romantic ideals get to you.

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friendlyedjit · 16/04/2008 13:27

It all sounds a little familiar!
Am due on Friday, and despite battling with horrid SPD and having to give up working at 31 weeks as consequence of pain etc have been able to avoid thinking about the baby thing. Have been in denial throughout all 4 pregnancies. I remember during one walking down stairs ( walking not really!)and suddenly noticing I had this huge belly and thinking " argh christ when did that arrive"- that must have been at 38 weeks plus!!
Have 3 who keep me distracted but its more than that. Haven't been especially excited, haven't done pregnancy well at all. There are people who bloom and are happy. I vomit and waddle me way through.I don't think that makes me any less maternal or in love with my baby once it arrives, its just my coping mechanism!?
As you say you will love your baby, we all cope with things differently. Once you have a little time together it will be fab.
Best of luck

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sagitta · 16/04/2008 14:14

Congrats, friendlyedjit - I hope it goes well for you. It 's really encouraging to know you feel the same - and have through all your PGs...thanks!