So scared and confused

[LadyR1977]

I just found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant, and I don't know what to do. I recently split up with my boyfriend (the father), although we've remained good friends. He's moving overseas in May and I know he won't want this baby. I was on the Pill, so it's come as a huge shock to get pregnant. Although I really want children, I just don't know if I can cope with one right now...I'm living with my parents, have big debts and can't afford a place of my own - but having an abortion would go against everything I believe in and I don't know if I could live with the guilt. I just don't know what to do for the best. Has anyone else had experience of going through pregnancy etc. on their own?

[sparkybabe]

I don't have any help for your particular situation ladyR but I know that if you have an abortion against your personal ideals then you will Always regret it. If you have this baby you will NEVER regret it.
Sending you lots of support

[madmouse]

Hi huney

Sorry no experience, just here to give you a hug and some support.

You don't have to do anything immediately. You found out very early and now you need to take at least a few days to think about it and talk it through.

All I can say is that if an abortion goes against everything you believe in and you are already not sure it is certainly not something you should rush into. Babies have been born in worse circumstances and in the end what they need is lots of love and a safe place, not lots of money.

Can you talk to a good friend or your mother, someone who will think with you and not judge you? Good luck whatever you decide to do. I am sure you will get lots more responses and support here too.

xx

[lulumama]

sorry to hear you are in this situation

there are a few Mnetters who have gone through pregnancy without the father...

you could try posting in the lone parents section too

[spackcat]

All I can say is I echo what everyone else is saying and if it really does go against everything you believe in then you are very likely to regret it. I know you never regret your children when you have them, especially when they are ultimately wanted despite the situation. Talk this through with someone who knows you and understands your situation, and who has neutral opinions, if you can't do this, write your feelings down; write the pro's and con's and what you would do about things if they were ideal and what you can do about things now - iykwim. This may help you get things clearer in your head and make a decision. Take care xx

[LOVEMYMUM]

I'm glad you haven't stuck your head in the sand. At this very early stage you have time to think.

Maybe contact Marie Stopes Clinic for advice. You need to speak to someone impartial who will let you make up your mind and who is not anti-abortion.

It is your body and your choice. You may also need to tell the father. Again, you need to speak with someone experienced in this area. Lots of luck with whatever direction you decide to take.

[LadyR1977]

Thank you all for your support - it means a lot. Lovemymum, I am planning to try and see my ex this weekend to tell him, I'm just really scared as I know it's going to ruin our friendship - he won't react well to the news and I know he'll want me to have an abortion.

At least I've found out early so I have a bit of time to get my head around things. And whatever happens I know I have to make the right decision for me - not anyone else.

[jules43]

Hi LadyR1977

I read your post and can sympathise, I am on my own and now 16 weeks pregnant, I am staying with my parents and have no money and am trying to sort housing etc.

Try and take one day at a time and do not be pressured into doing anything you don't want to do. I know it is daunting but make the right decision for you not for your ex partner

Good Luck

[needmorecoffee]

one day at a time LadyR. You will cope I'm sure if you have the baby.

[LadyR1977]

Thanks, Jules

It's reassuring to know I'm not alone! Hope all goes well with your pregnancy xx