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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Ugh. Facebook.

49 replies

ClearlyMoo · 27/12/2013 20:56

So far we've told friends and family about the little one due in May (20 weeks).

Loads of friends who know are expecting a "big reveal" on Facebook. I've already had to chase down a few wry comments to keep it private from FB.

I'm getting sick of people saying "when are you going to put it on fb?"

I don't know. DH is unbothered and thinks we shouldn't actually put anything.

We got engaged last Christmas and married in May, so I wondered about paralleling announcement now we know things are currently ok (just had scan today).

In the lead up to the 20wk scan I got majorly stressed that we'd written the news in our Christmas cards - what if something was wrong and we'd have to untell the world. Now this is making me hesitant about popping it on fb!

Argh! What to do?!

OP posts:

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NatashaBee · 27/12/2013 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LastOneDancing · 27/12/2013 21:03

If you're not comfortable... Don't!

We haven't done a FB reveal because people we want to know already do, and we tell people as and when we get in touch with them, - it's been quite nice to spread out the telling! It's not a secret, but we certainly haven't made a thing of it.

I had exactly the same 'when are you putting your scan pic on' etc etc and ignored it. It's private, if I want anyone to see my scans I'll show them

StuckOnARollercoaster · 27/12/2013 21:08

Our reveal on FB was when DD was born.
If chatting in real life with friends then we told them but I can't bear putting everything on FB.
(Although I do put my hand up to some very cute pics of DD in her Christmas outfits so I do put some stuff on there!!!)

Emus · 27/12/2013 21:21

We didn't put anything on FB either and did the whole reveal when he was safely with us. We obviously told all the important people in our lives and everyone else could wait. Needless to say there were many surprised responses when we did post. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Shellywelly1973 · 27/12/2013 21:47

Nothing on Fb about my pregnancy!

LittlePeaPod · 27/12/2013 22:03

Nothing on FB about my pregancy too. Just ignore or tell people that know, you are not ready/don't want to share the news on FB yet. Congratulations Op.

Notfastmainlyfurious · 27/12/2013 22:07

I didn't post until after the 20 weeks last time and it'll be the same or later this time. I just don't like the whole fb share stuff. You're not obliged so just ignore and do whatever you're comfortable with.

Mabelandrose · 27/12/2013 23:30

I hate those fb announcements!

Writerwannabe83 · 27/12/2013 23:42

I put it on FB because I just knew that someone would make an innocent remark on my page about my pregnancy and everyone would find out through them - I wanted to be the one to break my exciting news, not have it accidentally leaked by someone else

aroha77 · 27/12/2013 23:44

Congratulations - I'm due in May too! I usually use Facebook loads but haven't put anything pregnancy related on, couldn't think how to word it without being cheesy, being sensitive to friends trying to conceive etc etc and still feel like anything could happen so do I really want to be sharing the news with absolutely everyone yet?! It's been hard to do indulge in any moaning about the sickness though lol! Xx

Philoslothy · 27/12/2013 23:45

I can understand concern before 12 weeks but after that why the big secret?

I mean this in the nicest of ways, most people are not that interested.

AngryBeaver · 27/12/2013 23:55

Firstly, congratulations
I don't blame you.

I have, unfortunately, had to untell the world and fb (at 18 weeks)
:( so, i feel you're quite right.

Im due in april and this will be our fourth child (fingers crossed).
Anyone who can physically SEE me, knows, because I'm huge :)

But I haven't put anything on fb. I will wait until our lo is safely in my arms, and then share the happy news.

You just go with your instinct and tell who you want, when you want.

ClearlyMoo · 28/12/2013 04:03

Thanks for the replies.

AngryBeaver sorry for your loss that must have been unimaginably awful! Good news about the April baby! Hope things are going well?

Philoslothy - because once it goes on fb if something goes wrong you have to tell Facebook that too. Plus it sets you open to extra comments/advice that you probably don't need or want!

I totally agree with Writer though and that, sadly, is my own reason for wondering if I should put something!

Agree too with Alotha, there are people out there who are single/TTC etc who I don't want to rub it in the faces of them either! I've had a rollercoaster year we got engaged/ married in last 12 months and before that I would've cried at others happy news be it engagement/marriage/ pregnancy announcement or birth announcement. I'm feeling fresh from the other side of the coin and know I already post the occasional "smug married" post so don't want to push it.

One friend of mine waited til she was about 7 months then just updated profile pic with very obvious visible bump. Which could be a plan.

I just don't want anyone else getting there first, and am a bit concerned with family meet ups etc in coming weeks photos of me may end up on fb...!

Was tempted by a "this time last year we were planning a wedding in May, now we're planning for becoming three/a little surprise for you all/a whole new other sort of challenge in May 2014" or "2013 has been great, ready for 2014's challenges" but frankly everything I can think to write is smug AND rather vomitworthy!

OP posts:

Emus · 28/12/2013 04:10

Everyone we chose to tell we asked them not to write anything on FB about it. It wasn't that we were deliberately keeping it a secret, it was more down to my anxiety about my pregnancy and wanting the baby to be here safely. I felt like it was a really personal thing that I wanted to keep protected in some way!

TobyLerone · 28/12/2013 07:02

I never did a big FB reveal. They're so tacky.

At about 28 weeks, DH posted a photo in which I was visibly pregnant, and tagged me in it. Practically everyone was hugely surprised and I was really amused by the number of "I must have missed the big announcement" posts.

vvviola · 28/12/2013 07:14

ClearlyMoo - I did the same as your friend. But not really intentionally. I kept it off FB at the beginning as I had friends who were struggling with TTC so I wanted to tell them in person, but was abroad.

Then after I had told everyone who I felt needed to know I just kind of forgot about FB. At about 7 months I was on a business trip, and went out to dinner on a lovely river boat. A really nice picture of me was taken, so I posted it, saying something like "lovely dinner in XYplace", forgetting that it would be the first time my massive bump would have been on FB.

DH never directly updated his FB with news of DD2's arrival, mainly because all the friends he'd want to let know he either emailed, or were on my FB too. I think some people only realised he had 2 daughters this year, and DD2 is 2yo!

MyNameIsSuz · 28/12/2013 07:50

I never told Facebook, it wasn't a big secret and a couple of people did comment on statuses referencing it, but actually nobody really noticed that. It was actually really nice posting a photo and announcement after he was born and getting, among the congratulations, plenty of 'OMG I had no idea you were pregnant!!!'

mrsoh79 · 28/12/2013 07:57

I did put my scan picture up last week to make the announcement, but will be keeping off it from now on, I really do not want to become one of those boring poster who moans about every little niggle, I don't anyway tbh, so next update will more than likely be the 20 week scan and then birth, after it's happened and not a moment before x

peeapod · 28/12/2013 08:32

depends on your fb. Its not tacky, but a personal decision. If you have a large group of friends who you only communicate thru fb with (by distance or other reasons) its the perfect way to share. If people dont like it they can hide the posts, but i use fb as my public diary/ blog so would be weird to exclude baby (due in may too, had my scan on tuesday...

Plateofcrumbs · 28/12/2013 09:34

Each to their own, and as peeapod says, it really depends how you/your friends use facebook.

Personally I've been sick to the back teeth of certain friends over-sharing pregnancy details and baby photos on FB - especially whilst we were struggling with TTC, although even now I've joined the up the duff club I still have limited tolerance! Don't get me wrong I love to see a few baby pics etc...the key words there are 'a few'.

I think a stealth announcement by way of a picture of you with a bump is a nice way to do it - it's not rubbing it in people's faces, and by that stage you're well clear of all the major risks.

LittlePeaPod · 28/12/2013 11:14

Was tempted by a "this time last year we were planning a wedding in May, now we're planning for becoming three/a little surprise for you all/a whole new other sort of challenge in May 2014" or "2013 has been great, ready for 2014's challenges" but frankly everything I can think to write is smug AND rather vomitworthy!

Oh Op please if you do an FB reveal using one of those cringe worthy poem things... Just reading it made me cringe... Really sorry. If you do an FB reveal then just tell them.

On a different note I am with Toby I think FB announcements are a bit tacky particularly when scan pictures are attached but each to their own. What's right for others won't always be right for me. Good luck whatever you decide to do..

LittlePeaPod · 28/12/2013 11:15

Tha should be " don't use one of those cring worthy poems"

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ClearlyMoo · 28/12/2013 11:19

LittlePeaPod, FWIW! It wasn't a poem the slashes were options, it was only going to be one of those things, and I was finding any of them vomitworthy Anyway!

OP posts:

LittlePeaPod · 28/12/2013 11:24

Ahh sorry Op... If you do announce on FB maybe a simpele "Happy to announce we expecting in ----". Simple to the point and not cringe worthy..

Somersetlady · 28/12/2013 11:29

I always thunk it's so odd when people put their twelve week scan photos up in such a public domain!

Surely anyone who matters to you can be contacted directly rather than on social media and as for getting tagged in photos with the bump -before you are ready to announce it- would you not simply change your settings to approve all tagged photos of you before they appear on your wall?

If life revolves around facebook and deliberating about posting on facebook maybe it's time to look at taking up a new hobby or challenge.....

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