Lack of help from Government

[Applepiesky]

Need to have a bit of a rant!
I work full time, my partner works part time (he would love to have full time hours but none available at the moment) and we have a mortgage, and consider ourselves very lucky to have one as I know many people don't.
I'm really really worried about how we are going to be able to pay our mortgage/bills/afford to live once baby comes in December.
I believe I only get 6wks full pay from work and then straight on to SMP. this literally will not even come close to touching our mortgage/bills payments, even taking DPs wages into consideration, let alone be enough to feed and clothe a newborn baby!
So why is it that people on benefits are entitled to a one off grant of £500 towards child costs and also non-home owners get help with rent? It really really annoys me that us hard working citizens are the forgotten ones and I am starting to shit myself at the thought of not being able to pay my mortgage :-(

[Backinthebox]

Really sorry you are concerned about your financial situation, but did you not give this some thought before you decided to start a family? Babies are expensive, and don't get any cheaper as they get older. They are a luxury, not a right - why should the government give you any help?

[Bowlersarm]

Could you possibly go back to work earlier and not take so much maternity leave?

[insancerre]

when DS was born 24 years ago, I wasn't even working and couldn't claim anything.
So DH got a second job, in the evenings, working in a pig factory, in the evenings. He already had a full time job in the armed forces.
Money was very tight.
Could your partner not get a second job?

[lotsofcheese]

Is it an option to take a "mortgage holiday"? Ie no payments for a period of time.

Also, have you thought about childcare costs after maternity leave? I'm afraid to say finances don't get any better....

[paperclipsarebetterthanstaples]

It's hard - and one of the reasons why DS will ne an only child. Beware op - you'll probably get slated for 'benefit bashing' but i can see where you're coming from. Fwiw i don't think the £500 grant is around anymore.

Save now where you can and try not to get hung up on babies needing stuff - they need very little. Friends will probably offer you their kids stuff - take all offers if it meals you can stay off longer with dc.

Contracts :-)

[paperclipsarebetterthanstaples]

Congrats **

[LaurieFairyCake]

Put simply if you didn't actually have enough money to live on then the government would pay the interest part of your mortgage.

If they don't pay it then you earn enough.

Feel free to complain about low wages though as its a terrible problem.

Make sure you claim child benefit, child tax credit etc.

[gillybeandramaqueen]

I was a 'hard-working citizen' for the best part of 20 years. I then got very ill thus losing employment and am now on benefits. I received the 500 grant and get only a portion of my rent paid. My circumstances do not allow me to be able to get a mortgage and am forced to rent privately at exhorbitant prices. I have just turned 40 and my partner and I are expecting our first child in a one-bed flat. Your husband is very fortunate to have even a pt job as I know many people who aren't even able yo secure pt employment.

You are in a pretty fortunate position compared to a LOT of us and the tone of your post offends me greatly.

[sarahleanne]

'non home owners get help with rent'? really? do you mean in ways of tax credits? as I have never heard of getting help with rent unless you mean housing benefit?

The government is doing everything backwards and giving hand outs to the wrong people (although that is starting to kind of change) and I know its very stressful. I have our 3rd baby due and I am very lucky my husband has a decent job, although we pay our own price for that as he works away the majority of the time! but my sister who is due in October is in a similar situation as you, she works full time and her partner got made redundant a few months ago and has managed to only pick up part time work. Theyre not entitled to any help and also have a mortgage to pay which she is worrying about massively as she is the main earner.
What she did is from the day she found out she was expecting , she put some money into savings so it meant she could extend her maternity leave to 9 months. She would love to take a year but she cannot afford to.
Try to be practical about what you buy , i.e - don't buy all the gimmicky stuff that you really don't need, just buy the basics for your baby.Is there anyone you know that can give you second hand stuff?
I also agree with what someone else mentioned although I don't know if it possible, but if you are allowed a break in payments with your mortgage then id go for it.
If not, then saving some money back for the next 4 months is your best bet.
I do know how you feel, my sister has been so upset she cant take a year off with her first newborn and almost resents the fact that I am able to do that but in my eyes its her partner that needs to take the strain here and get more hours somehow. Everyones situation is different I guess.

[paperclipsarebetterthanstaples]

Gilly - your situation sounds truly crap and it's not fair at all but i think the op should be allowed a moan. I work and moan sometimes about people i assume are better off - maybe you did too a little when you were working?

[StaceyP85]

I think what she is trying to say in response to BackIntheBox's comment is that it seems like she is penalised for working and having a home which she pays for, when other people can continue to have children and be given loads of financial help.

Why should working people not be able to start a family?

I feel your pain Applepiesky. Both my partner and I work full time and have a mortgage. Things will be tight while I am off work and we have had to save extremely hard to be able to supplement my income when I am not working.

It is very frustrating. I have a family member who has 2 children, claims benefits, gets a free house and is taking her kids to Australia next year which I couldn't afford now even before having children! It does sometimes feel like I have the raw end of the deal and would have been better off not working and claiming benefits!

I am sorry to hear that you have concerns - Could you start putting a little away each month before the baby is born?
Also buy as much as can second hand - there are loads of baby groups etc on facebook, and the NCT does nearly new sales.

I hope that helps

[paperclipsarebetterthanstaples]

Didn't mean that to sound cheeky - know things can me read in different way. I just mean that we can all be guilty of assuming people are getting more than us / having an easier ride when we don't know circumstances BUT there are some people who milk the system and we should be allowed a moan about them - just difficult to differentiate sometimes

[gillybeandramaqueen]

Of COURSE!!! She is allowed a moan!!!! Us pregnant ladies need to support each other... BUT she should be venting her moan towards the GOVERNMENT as the title of her post suggested NOT bashing us mums to be who happen to be on benefits, who are vulnerable and whom she knows NOTHING about!!!! I am envious that Iam not able to work and not able to claim paternity for my partner or I and I hate that we cannot secure our own mortgage but I don't take my resentment out on those who are more fortunate!! It's hard for EVERYONE!!! And being on benefits is incredibly hard.. I have received so much clothing second hand for my baby and am extremely grateful... but without the 500 grant I would not have been able to purchase a pram, a cot and other essential bits. I never conceived before 39 due to illness but also YES the financial situation. The poster might just find they have to sell their home.... try renting in the private sector then she'll find out how hard being on benefits is. At least she has her job to go back to... eventually.

[EhricLovesTeamQhuay]

Poor people get a grant to buy essentials because they are poor (you are not, with two full time working adults)
People paying rent get help to pay their rent because they have no assets. You have a mortgage towards which you are paying equity. That's an asset. Why would the government pay towards your asset?

[JoJoManon]

The irony is that if you and your partner were on welfare you'd get a load of helo (Not sure if you saw How to Get a Council House on C4 recently but some 17 year old and her unemployed boyfriend got themselves a nice little flat (and it was a nice one, not a high rise sink estate) for nothing. But I digress..
I feel your pain, my DH also got made redundant and has been unable to get a new job and I won't even get child benefit once the baby is born.
It is what it is unfortunately, those of us that work hard pay for those that don't/won't and unfortunately they can get away with it.

[gillybeandramaqueen]

Yes thanks for the backup Ehric. OP, why the hell do you think some of us are 'non-homeowners' eh??? Through CHOICE???????????

[Viviennemary]

I can see where you are coming from. I'm glad the welfare system is being reformed. People with mortgages are penalised when it comes to benefit entitlement.

[EhricLovesTeamQhuay]

The irony is that if you and your partner were on welfare you'd get a load of helo
Yes but you'd be on benefits
I worked out what I'd get if I was on benefits. I'd get £1200 a month. My rent is £800! How cushy do you think a like of benefits is? I assure you the OP has a much nicer lifestyle than most people on benefits.

And jojo why won't you get child benefit if your DH isn't working? Do you earn over £50k? I can't possibly imagine why you would be envious of people on benefits if so.

[gillybeandramaqueen]

And as a benefit claimant I would just like to add that I paid taxes for TWENTY years!!!! Am I not, then, entitled to the help now that I need it and for my baby too????

And there's no council house offers landing on my doorstep.... not even for a high-rise block filled with junkies et al.......

[EhricLovesTeamQhuay]

Why don't people get the different between mortgages and rent?
When you pay a mortgage you are putting equity into your pot. Renters have nothing to show for it. Why the fuck should the government pay towards your equity?

[gillybeandramaqueen]

Lastly.... I have worked in well paid employment and been a hard working homeowner THREE times over so I have experienced both sides of the coin.... and I sure know which situation is harder.

[awakemysoull]

I rent privately and get housing benefit towards my rent. I would love to be in a situation where I could get a mortgage. I went to buy a house when I was 20 and halfway through the process I lost my job (hotel manager, I worked my backside off for 4 years to get to management level of a big hotel) and it fell through. I was pregnant at the time, partner walked away and I was left at my mums with a newborn baby and no job. I got my job back 4 months after DD1 was born and worked and worked and worked. I eventually managed to get a house. It is very difficult to find a private landlord who will rent a house to a single parent who receives housing benefit. I then met current dp and moved to a nicer house because we had 2 incomes and didn't have to apply for housing benefit.

Dp lost his job a few months ago just before dd2 was born. We have had an absolute shit few months struggling on maternity pay and job seekers allowances whilst the council spent 3 months sorting out a housing benefit claim. The rent was paid but we relied on family for food and stuff for the baby.
OP I understand where you are coming from but believe me it's not a lovely life on benefits it's just as hard and I am skint all the time. I've had to neglect bills so I can feed and clothe my children.

People who say don't start a family until you can afford to - that's a very narrow minded statement to make. People lose jobs, relationships break down, circumstances change. Not all of us are lucky enough to have husbands or partners with amazing jobs that pay really well. Not all of us were given the opportunity to go to university or have a good job. Some of us struggle by on minimum wage and fall on hard times. It's the way things are at the moment.


OP speak to your mortgage provider and see if you can have a 'mortgage holiday' or reduce your payments. They want to help you the last thing they want is you to fall into arrears and lose your home.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and everything will work out fine. Apply for tax credits and child benefit as soon as you can

[paperclipsarebetterthanstaples]

You can still be poor when 2 adults work. I bought a cheap, crap house (mortgaged) because it was cheaper to than rent somewhere. If people are n low paid jobs which are just over the threshold for 'help' then they are often more poor than those on benefits because they have more to shell out for.

In our society we don't just have poor people on benefits and rich people in work - there are shit loads of categories inbetween

[jemimastar]

I totally share OP's pain.
We both work full time and wow yes also have a mortgage. While this is an "asset" how is the government helping funding poorer renting families to make landlords even richer- and increase the shortage of available housing- a better situation than helping struggling families when raising a family towards their mortgage?!

Surely helping those in full time work and with mortgages to remain in such a (stable) position and thus continuing to paying taxes is much better for all parties concerned than not helping such families who have been tax payers when they also then need a little support but could be at risk of falling off the wagon?

I can only afford to take 6 months maternity leave and that?s already a massive push, so totally share your pain.

[paperclipsarebetterthanstaples]

People with mortgages may have a pot at the end of it - which the government will dip into AGAIN once its paid off to cover home help / nursing homes when we're old. Mortgages aren't savings pots anymore.