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Very unexpected pregancy - help!

10 replies

foolssilver · 17/07/2013 18:56

Hi everyone

I'm sorry if this is insensitive to post as I know there are a lot of members ttc.

I found out I'm pregnant about a week and it was very very much a shock! I am in a difficult place in my life - getting divorced and very early days with new partner who lives pretty far away from me.

I'm just looking for some positive stories really. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and did it all work out?

Thanks

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fanjodisfunction · 17/07/2013 20:22

Don't have any experience but didn't want to leave you unanswered.

Have you told your partner?

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foolssilver · 17/07/2013 21:08

Thanks Fanjodisfunction, I have told him and he is very supportive if a bit shocked too!

It just seems so overwhelming, there is so much to think about and I just don't know where to start.

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widdleme · 18/07/2013 13:17

Hi foolssilver

I just found out I'm pregnant with my ex partners of five years baby. Wasn't planned and I'm still in shock but very excited. He's not taking the news well but its still early and I know he will be fine in a few weeks.

I'M very hopeful for this pregnancy and our future relationship. I am concentrating wholly on the baby and not worrying about any other situation surrounding the pregnancy. Chin up keep positive and enjoy all the hurdles

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Holly94 · 18/07/2013 15:50

Hi foolssilver
While I can't relate to finding out I'm pregnant in circumstances such as yours, I can relate to an unexpected pregnancy.
Found out 7 weeks ago that I was pregnant... At 18 years old! Was in shock for weeks - I had a place at a very good university this September and I can't go now. However I had an early scan due to some issues and as soon as I saw that heartbeat flickering on the screen, I knew everything was going to work out okay.
Congratulations and good luck. Everything will work itself out. xx

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foolssilver · 18/07/2013 18:10

Thanks Widdleme and Holly, congratulations to you both too.

I am feeling a lot more positive now and while it's early days with my partner he is really lovely and I think everything will work out. We just need to think through some of the practicalities.

Widdleme - I am sure you ex partner will soon also become very excited and I hope you can have a good future relationship.

Holly - I am excited for the scan now, I have it tomorrow and hope that it will make it all feel a bit more real and exciting. I am sure you can sort out university at a later date if it is something you still want to do.

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maggiethemagpie · 18/07/2013 18:19

I had an unexpected pregnancy with my first baby - I had only been with my partner a few months and we'd only been living together a few weeks as it had been long distance relationship most of the time, he'd only moved up to be with me on a trial basis really to see if it would work out.

After spending the whole day after I found out bricking it (I did a test at work, not imagining for a moment it would be positive) I told him that evening and he went in to a sort of dazed and confused shock for about ten minutes before holding my hand and saying it would be ok and that if he was not ready to be a father now he never would be.

Three years later we are now having our second child so it all worked out.

I remember feeling worried that he would only be staying with me out of a sense of duty and telling him that he didn't have to. To be honest it was the making of us. Suddenly, overnight, the relationship went to another level.

The other really weird thing was meeting his parents for the first time when I was pregnant - I was convinced they'd think I was some sort of brazen hussy who'd trapped their son but it was all fine and it's all worked out.

That's not to say it always does, but it will certainly be make or break time.

Have you decided what you will do, or does this to some extent depend on your partner's reaction?

Best of luck

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maggiethemagpie · 18/07/2013 18:22

Sorry just saw your reply must have cross posted - good to see your partner has been positive about it all and hope it all works out

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foolssilver · 18/07/2013 20:09

Hi Maggie

Your partner sounds lovely, so glad it worked out for you.

I am hoping it will be the same for me. He is looking at jobs where I live and plans to move as soon as he finds one so all looking good so far.

I think I was just overwhelmed with the whole situation - the practical stuff like him getting a job and moving but also telling friends and family who not long ago I was telling I was getting a divorce. I think there will a lot of awkward conversations.

Oh well as everyone has said, things have a habit of working out.

Thanks for the support.

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Oubliette0292 · 18/07/2013 20:29

That was me almost 10 years ago. Just left an abusive boyfriend and become involved with someone else who lived in a different city to me. DD is now 9, and I also have a 7 year old DS and I'm now married to their father. Wasn't what we had planned at the time, but with hindsight it all worked our brilliantly. I can't imagine my life any other way.

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foolssilver · 20/07/2013 22:06

Oubliette that sounds very similar to my situation! I am so glad it all worked out for you.

Everyone's positive stories have really helped. Thanks so much.