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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 4

(628 Posts)
rosiedays Wed 01-May-13 09:30:08

as i filled the last post on old thread it seemed only polite to start the new one. hope i've done it right confused

To those who have just found this thread, Welcome and congratulations on you BFP. please feel free to join this amazing supportive group of 40+ mums to be. A very nonjudgmental and friendly place to hang out and share your pregnancy.

Blundermum 40, DC2 due early May?
Lotsofcheese, 40/41, DC2 (girl) due May (DS 4y)
Onemoreforgoodmeasure, 40, DC1 due 06/06
cyclecamper, 42, DC1 due 14/06
Newchoos, 40, DC2, due early July
Blueeyes1970,42, DC1 due on 8th July
BadMissM, 45, DC2, due 22/7
Rosiedays, 43 DD3 due 23rd July(ish)
ScubaSarah, nrly 40, DC1?, due July 22-Aug 1
Iclaudius,45, due 29/07
LottieH, 44, DC5, due mid August
Sparklysapphire, 44, DC2, due 28/8
BuzzBee, 40, DC2, due Sept
Notsoold, 41,DC3 due end of October
Animol, 42, DC5 due 13th
November

catdoctor Mon 22-Jul-13 14:00:18

Hello to all and flowers all round, lovely lovely lovely

Back at work after 4 weeks holidays- poor old me.

Interested to read all these (bit hairy) stories. I was 42 when had DS1 and went to 40+13 and though labour was fine he ended up in SCBU for 4 days I think basically due to birth stress. Maybe that was related to my age, didn't really think about it that at the time. Does anyone have any useful sources of info on maternal-age related birth issues? I spent hours trawling NICE guidelines on induction last time and struggled to find any evidence base just the conclusions.

I'm 21 weeks this week and LO squirming well now.

Best wishes to all and brew/sympathy as required

sparklysapphire Fri 26-Jul-13 01:18:29

Hi all, just checking in. I hope all those with newborns are enjoying the cuddles despite being knackered no doubt!
Soupmaker, you're imminent I think? Assuming LO hasn't made an appearance already.
Not much to report, all fine at m/w appt today, despite rather uncomfortable anti-D jab, and realising wearing a long dress wasn't ideal as I had to hitch it right up. It's so comfy though. Next appt is with the consultant in 3 weeks. I'm really not expecting this baby to arrive before the due date, and will get a shock if that happens. I haven't packed my hospital bag yet, I don't know whether I'm being relaxed about it or just irresponsible - I'm 35 weeks. I have thought about it, but don't yet have very much to go in it. DH still isn't happy but we've hardly seen him as he's been mainly working away. But he has bought DD a couple of books about babies, so at least he's giving it some thought.

I hope everyone's doing ok.

Morien Sun 28-Jul-13 16:34:54

Hello everyone! Having had my 12-week scan on Friday and seen the baby wriggling around, I think it's time to start believing I really am pg (had a MMC last year so have been very nervous this time around), and make the move from the Fabulous 40s TTC thread. Good to see some familiar names here - hello [sparkly], [notsoold], [jbrd] <waves>

I'm 41 (that's the first time I've said that! It was my birthday last week), and this will be DC1, due in February.

JBrd Mon 29-Jul-13 13:43:47

Yay, morien, good to see you here! Not been very active myself, but planning to become so, once I'm a bit further along wink

6+5 today, time couldn't go any slower. Got a consultant appointment on Wednesday, then my booking in appointment on Thursday. Still debating if I want to get an early scan, I can't make up my mind. Probably not before I'm 8 weeks anyway.

Told my boss I'm pg today, just so that she knows. I'm coming up to the point where both my mcs kicked off, so currently walking on eggshells confused

soupmaker Mon 29-Jul-13 20:34:18

Hello. Baby Soup born this morning weighing in at 8lb 1oz. Was induced late last night and baby decided to arrive quick smart. DH only just made it. Had forgotten just how fab little babies are. Been feeding and snoozing and cuddling. Bliss.

Good luck and best wishes to all the other 40+ mums and mums to be.

sparklysapphire Mon 29-Jul-13 22:26:20

Congratulations soupmaker on baby soup! Which flavour - I'm sorry I can't remember if you knew beforehand? It's good to know induction can be speedy as I may well end up with induction, though Im not keen. I hope you're recovering well, enjoy the cuddles!
Morien, lovely to see you here, what a relief all was well with scan.
JBrd, no wonder you're feeling twitchy at this stage, I hope consultant appointment is helpful, & I have everything crossed for you that this pregnancy sticks for you.
I'm ok I think, but had a major wobble this evening while DH & DD were out as if I think about DH still not getting to grips with the fairly imminent arrival, it's really upsetting & I feel isolated & unsupported which isnt fun so mainly I try not to dwell on it.
Hi to all, I'm on my phone so apologies for any typos.

soupmaker Tue 30-Jul-13 07:04:41

Baby Soup is DD2. We didn't know before she was born.

I was really concerned about being induced too Sparkly. Thankfully I had a few mums in RL to ask about it. I just had a pessary. It was fine although I went from 4cm to 9cm in less than 5 minutes which was pretty full on. Second stage only lasted 10 minutes, she came fast! So I was really lucky and had a good experience.

butterybiscuitbass Fri 02-Aug-13 22:06:00

Hello lovely ladies, thought I'd better check in after a long absence, to announce the arrival of gorgeous dd (albeit 5 weeks ago...it has flown). What a huge relief she is here and healthy. I'm 44 years young and this is my 3rd baby since age 39, plus 3 mc. Time to call it a day now. What a ride. Good luck to all those patiently waiting, ttc or with babies in tummies. Bless you all and your little ones.

JBrd Sun 04-Aug-13 14:35:26

Ladies, I saying good-bye. I had my reassurance scan this morning, and all they could see was an empty sac. No foetal pole, no heartbeat. Measuring 4 weeks, but I'm 7+4, and there is no doubt about my dates.

I am utterly crushed and heartbroken.
This is my third miscarriage in a row, and I don't know where I'll go from here.

All the best of luck to all of you, wishing you sticky pregnancies and healthy, happy babies xxx

butterybiscuitbass Sun 04-Aug-13 17:11:26

Dear JBrd, I am so so sorry and nothing anyone can say can make you feel any better right now. And good luck if you can find the strength to carry on.

catdoctor Sun 04-Aug-13 19:54:46

Don't know if you'll be back to read this, JBrd but so very sorry to hear your news.

Morien Mon 05-Aug-13 14:47:38

JBrd - I've already left you a message on the other thread, but in case you see this first, I'm so very sorry. What a huge disappointment. Take good care of yourself.

I had blood taken for the Harmony test last week so now waiting for the results. Have had a busy weekend (getting married grin ) so haven't had time to fret about it - starting to think about it again now though...

catdoctor Mon 05-Aug-13 15:48:57

Just checking in - seems to have gone quiet around here- plenty have podded I think and the next batch presumably busy irl.

Hello Morien - is the harmony test the new blood test for Down's? I had this too, at 15 weeks as DM was anxious - my nuchal results were pretty good. Point of interest to my NHS midwife and ultrasonographer - quite a novelty. Will be interesting to see how long till it's more cost effective for NHS to do this than scan (I suppose only once the bods with the patent have paid all the R+D off).

A friend of mine (much younger than me) couple of week more pregnant has just heard her baby has died in-utero. After all the worry and now this I just can't seem to relax. Off to see consultant next week, more worry.

DS1 announced yesterday that the new baby couldn't play with his toys - so off to checkout the threads on sibling jealousy!

diege Mon 05-Aug-13 16:16:19

Hello! I'd like to join if that's ok grin. I do know a few of you from the ttc 40 plus thread of course <waves> and now that my pregnancy is getting on a bit (29 wks tomorrow) it'll be nice to bore you all with my ailments/anxieties before October (due date 22nd Oct). Quick potted history: age 43, baby number 6, pregnancy uneventful so far (had harmony and scans at FMC). Only slight 'glitch' is low lying placenta (still low at 28 wks) but getting rescanned at 34 so fingers crossed it's 'moved' up a bit. Looking forward to joining in all the chat smile

BTW Jbrd I have been thinking about you a lot today - I am so upset for you sad. I know it is absolutely no consolation at the moment, but will this mean they will start to do some investigations into the mcs?

butterybiscuitbass Mon 05-Aug-13 20:49:43

JBrd I second what diege says, re investigations, further tests, medication etc. which of course may or may not make a difference- sorry I really don't mean to cause further distress if this suggestion isn't helpful- at least you know we on this thread can fully empathise with you. You're in our thoughts.

sparklysapphire Mon 05-Aug-13 23:25:03

Congratulations buttery on your DD.
Hi diege, nice to see you over here.
Catdoctor, what dreadful news for your friend, does she have lots of RL support.
It is quiet, there were lots of July babies, so I think everyone's disappeared to the 40+ mums thread!

Morien Tue 06-Aug-13 08:40:17

catdoctor yes, Harmony is the new blood test for Downs. I'm in Belgium, and my gynae reckons it'll be refundable here by next year some time - not that the cost will have come down, but that the Belgian health service won't be able to justify not refunding it (here you pay for all treatment upfront and claim it back - or in this case you don't claim it back). My nuchal results were good too (1.2 or 1.7 at 12 weeks, don't remember), but I wanted more reassurance (I have 3 small DSCs who are with us 50%, and we would really struggle with a child with a disability - although I have to say that DH is much clearer on that than I am). I'd have had an amnio had that been the only option, but was keen to avoid the (admittedly low) risk of MC.

We announced the pregnancy on Sunday - I kind of wish we hadn't as MIL has already gone into over-drive hmm My own family have a very pragmatic, live-and-let-live approach to most things - you can tell me whatever you want to tell me, but whatever you don't tell me I'll assume is private and I won't ask...and I certainly won't tell you you're doing it wrong or that I think you should do it differently. DH's family's not like that at all, his mum and sisters like to impose their views and tell you you've got it all wrong; I guess it's just a different approach, and had I grown up in DH's family I wouldn't have a problem...but I struggle. So I've already had several lectures from MIL, and I just hate it - I can't stand people interfering, and I react quite badly. Yesterday she called DH and told him that we 'have' to do an amnio; instead of agreeing and changing the subject DH told her all about the Harmony test and so on - it's probably not a big deal and I'm probably over-reacting, but although I talk about it on here, to me that kind of thing is private, between DH & me...at least while we wait for the results. DH said, 'but it is private - she's my mum!', but I can't help thinking that he didn't tell her (I presume) about his sperm analysis at the fertility clinic, did he? I couldn't bear for MIL to be on the phone every day now asking after the Harmony results confused Apparently she's also fretting about what nationality the baby will have, and whether it'll have double nationality, which I could understand if I came from outside the EU (although even then it would be a little premature), but there ain't a lot of difference between having Belgian nationality or British, frankly. More importantly, I can't even think about that right now (nor do we need to!); I just want to live this pregnancy one step at a time. (What baffles me about MIL is that she already has 6 grandchildren, all of whom live locally to her (including my lovely DSCs), and she's just not interested in them! So why this interest in my pregnancy?)

Hello diege - good to see you here!

catdoctor Tue 06-Aug-13 13:39:00

I've been musing on why DMs and MILs seem to have these bonkers streaks - following a few threads to the same effect - my DM frustrates me as used to be a very savvy, finger on the pulse type of career woman and since retirement/marriage to DSF has gone well weird. I've come to the conclusion that once retired and families left home they've nothing more important to worry about and so all these minutiae that pass us by as we're too busy with jobs/DCs etc are a cause of genuine concern to them.

Interesting too when different family cultures collide. My lot are of the, well you'll tell me if you want to train, whereas DH's are more inclined to come over huffy if not in the loop. Frankly, I haven't the energy for it.

sparklysapphire Tue 06-Aug-13 23:13:16

Catdoctor, I think you could be right about DM/MILs having nothing else to worry about. In both cases mine live on their own, having been widowed many years ago, which means they totally follow their own agenda. Infuriating in opposite ways - my mum is useless in all practical matters, eg next to no food in the house when we went a couple of weeks ago, and didn't seem to see the importance of feeding heavily pregnant DD and 5 yr old GD. But she did bring up 2 teenagers and work full time after our dad died, so she must have been more practical then. MIL is completely the other way, and just does things without being asked, or checking if it's ok/appropriate, when she's staying with us & it can make me very cross. MIL is coming stay when LO arrives as she will at least feed us, but DH is going to have to stick up for me if I'm not up to it.
So Morien, I sympathise with your MIL troubles, I hope it gets easier as your pregnancy progresses! When do you get your Harmony results?
I'm 37 weeks today so officially full term - eeek! But I have finally started to make some progress sorting out so may have room for the baby after all!

Morien Thu 08-Aug-13 09:39:26

Wow, sparkly, full term - it doesn't seem long (to me, probably not to you!) since you announced your BFP. Any progress on the baby's room? BTW, how's your DH now the baby's arrival is imminent?

I get my Harmony results any day - the doctor said he'd call me as soon as he got them.

Catdoctor I like your theory. My DM is retired, as is DSF (they've been together since I was 9), but they're so busy (active hobbies like hiking, the allotment, then looking after elderly relatives, playing bridge, etc) that they've got more than enough to keep themselves occupied without fretting about my sister and me. That said, they find the time to be brilliant grandparents to my niece and they really help take the load off my DSis and BIL (particularly now, as DSis is just 2 weeks more pregnant than I am!) MIL, though, is exactly as you describe - lives alone (divorced from FIL), pleases herself. She's very nice, but on her own terms. Very difficult to get her to do anything for or with my DSCs, but the minute she needs my DH to do anything for her, he's expected to drop everything (he doesn't, and she gets cross and quite manipulative). I'm just sorry that it's DH's side of the family we live near, whilst mine are abroad - I'd love to think we'd have the support my DSis will get when her new baby's born sad (Even before he met me, when DH was on his own 1 week in 2 with 3 very small children, his family did nothing to help, despite all living less than 5 mins away shock)

Isabeller Thu 08-Aug-13 16:23:47

Hello, I hope it's ok to join this thread I'm forty-cough years old and 15 weeks pregnant after DE IVF. (1st baby for DP, I have adult DD)

Feeling a bit rough today hence doing MN not laundry grin but on the whole better than a few weeks ago.

Morien Thu 08-Aug-13 16:27:14

Hello isabeller - good to see you here.

notsoold Fri 09-Aug-13 07:18:13

It is brilliant to see you here diege, isabeller and morien!!!

sparkly 37 weeks!!! Wow!!! Are you ready for all the fun???

jbrd praying for you today xxxxx

We just returned from a holiday ( what do you call a romantic getaway before baby arrives??)
It was great!!!
29 weeks today and finally believing that it is going to happen. My dh is happy as always and we are decorating the nursery and buying few things ( had hand me downs for other dcs but all our friends had their kids a while ago?).
The gestational diabetes is coming along nicely however as I plan the baby shower ( different custom in my country) I am making plans for yummies that are nice to eat and not necessarily healthy!!!smile. Baby shower is a big celebration for us and in my case people was asked to bring nappies or wipes ( cheap and easy to find). The decorations are here and on the day dh is together with one of my brothers going for a day out and my other db is playing guitar during the party. Although a man he plays so well that I decided to overlook the fact. Plus he has 5 dcs and is a hands o dax so have plenty to talk about to the ladies.....
Sorry to rant awaysmile

diege Fri 09-Aug-13 08:26:18

Hello!! As posted on other thread had a bit of a fright yesterday after getting hit in tummy by a tennis ball. Had to go in for monitoring last night (all fine) but will need some more anti-D today...had 28 week dose last week but apparently need a 'top-up' today <sighs>
notsoold baby shower sounds fab - I bet your db with the 5 DCs will be a real draw grin
Love to all x

notsoold Fri 09-Aug-13 09:23:19

diege good luck with another injection today!!!

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